Sunday Funnies: Feel The Bern Edition

Hello, and welcome to Dirty Bernie, the phone sex hotline for those who want to get dirty with Bernie. As you know my campaign doesn’t take money for big banks, but I’m happy to take money for big wanks.

And so begins the dirty talk with Bernie Sanders… And, yes, there’s plenty of wet and messy (WAM), sploshing, fetish fun in this dirty talk.

If this excites you, you can celebrate with some heavy petting over these handmade blue velvet, high-waisted panties featuring Sanders & a cat. Remember, if you rub the pussy too long over the panties, you may actually feel another burn.

feel the bern bernie sanders with cat pussy panties

So, A Penis Bag Is A Thing

Every now & then I like to window shop at J List. It’s the easiest way to see, read about, and buy actual Japanese things here in the US. Today, I spotted a Otokonoko Bukuro.

Otokonoko Bukuro

Not knowing what “otokonoko” is, I put a pin in that for searching later & decided, in my Ugly American way, that given the product image, “Bukuro” seems enough like “burrito”. Turns out, I’m not so wrong. Only instead of wrapping your meat in a flour tortilla, you wrap your meat and beans it in silky luxury:

The latest trend in Japan’s otokonoko community is this Otokonoko Bukuro, a “penis bag” that securely fits over your penis and testicles, providing…we’re not sure actually. Protection? A smooth feeling? Sexy style? The material is extra soft, a silky two-way stretch material that will expand to handle any size.

Otokonoko Bukuro Penis Bag

As for otokonoko, the word translates to “male daughter”, and is part of a long history and deep continuum of crossdressing. More at Wikipedia, should you need to know.

At the end of the day, this Otokonoko Bukuro Penis Bag is rather like men’s pantyhose ~ without the pesky leg coverings.

japan penis bag

Saucy Saturday: Vintage Stockings Edition

Lingerie lover and PSO, A Slip Of A Girl, wears a vintage ivory satin bullet bra with a matching ivory satin girdle (with garters, of course!) over pink full-cut panties while putting on a pair of vintage nylon stockings. You can go here to get the 26 rare photos in this series. This photo set was previously only available to VIPs, but for a limited time only you can snag all the stocking pics. You can also follow her on Twitter @SlipOfAGirl.


Sex Kittens On The Prowl!

Via A Slip of a Girl, I discovered Isibella Mircalla Karnstein (aka Little Skylark) and The Chateau: Catgirl Manor ~ where I then found this Christmas video of sex kittens! If you love the look, you can get the kitty cat pet look with cat ears, collars, and fluffy tails at Sexclectic. (Discount codes here.)

Saucy Saturday: Bailey Knox Makes Sexy Christmas Cards With Boob & Toe Prints

Bailey Knox poses in pretty red lingerie ~ trimmed in feathers ~ before baring breasts and toes to make holiday cards for fans.

bailey knox christmas lingerie

Escorts & Selling Sex In The Land Down Under

Not long after I retweeted the link to the transcript of Hungry Beast‘s interview with National Classification Board member Greg Scott about the Australian rules regarding nudity in Unrestricted Category publications (which raise a plethora of questions, not only in censorship but in terms of female body image, especially down under), long-time reader Mike asked how this might affect sex workers in Australia.

brisbane escorts tease in lingerie and heelsWhile I’m no expert on things Australian, I expect it has little, if any, impact. For while sex work, including escorting, is legal in Australia, I doubt sex workers are allowed to advertise in publications like Cosmo. (Here, in the US, you can’t even advertise sex toys in such publications ~ even if editorial covers the subject.) I’ve reached out to those I know who live or work in Australia for their input.

But even if sex workers are allowed such means of promoting their services, I doubt many of them would opt for using nude photos. Savvy escorts know that tease is more of a marketing draw than explicit photos. For example, the photos shown here. They are random examples taken from profiles of Brisbane escorts and Perth escorts.

And while we are speaking of Aussie escorts, the Daily Mail has a feature on Australian sex workers talking about their diverse client bases.

sexy perth australia escorts

Lingerie Is Red, His Balls Are Blue; Have We Found The Perfect Holiday Lingerie For You!

Study after study continues to show that men are aroused by the color red. And ladies love sensual, classy lingerie. Put the two together, and you have one hell of a great holiday gift idea: red lingerie from Secrets In Lace. Classic silk pajamas, vintage styled girdles, pretty panties with matching bullet bras, corsets and garters, and even mix-and-match lady-like slips, camisoles, and panties ~ SIL has it all. Yes, they have plus or BBW sizes too.

PS Sign up for the Secrets In Lace newsletter, and get 20% off your next purchase!

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red hot open bottom girdle vintage style lingerie

Saucy Saturday: Champagne & Baby Oil Edition

That’s Carlotta Champagne to be precise ~ and she’s using that bottle of baby oil in delightful ways, with and without the white lace lingerie! This is one sticky situation which will likely lead to more sticky, erm, solutions. *wink*

carlotta champagne white lace baby oil breasts

carlotta champagne baby oil white lace panties

Afraid To Go Into The Kitchen This Holiday?

Brooke Marks makes it more fun. Here she combines the kitschy thrills of Cthulhu cosplay with kitchen fun. It might be too late to get it for Thanksgiving, but if you’d like to play this at home, you can get a Cthulho knitted mask here.

brooke marks Cthulhu's kitchen