Even Robots Need To Revive Their Careers With Sexy B Flicks

From the biography of Elektro, the world’s first celebrity robot who wowed the crowds at the 1939 New York World’s Fair, comes this sad and all-too-familiar chapter of the fleetingness of fame:

One curious part of the story is that Elektro tried the classic B-list celebrity tactic of using sex to revive a flagging career – appearing in a proto soft porn film in the 1960s.

The movie was entitled Sex Kittens Go to College, and you can see Elektro featured in the trailer.

Here’s the film’s trailer:

Catch Elektro as “Thinko”, Mamie Van Doren, and the whole gang in the flick.

The Evocative Power Of Erotica

Perhaps you’ve heard of the Peck and Call Girls, today’s courtesans, modern muses who provide virtual escort services via phone sex, chat, etc.? …You could call them “phone sex operators,” but they are really so much more than that; I know that as I’m lucky enough to know over half of these stunning, capricious creatures ~ known as much for their intellect as their masturbatory assistance. They, like any great sex workers, clearly know the key to arousing a man ~ from discerning gentlemen to silly cads alike ~ is via the largest, most powerful sex organ: the brain.

To wit, they recently posted a discussion about the esoteric attributes of erotica ~ with Robert, owner of Delta Of Venus. More than the old “erotica vs porn” debate, they pluck at the heart & lust strings of what makes erotica work… Tease, romance, unvarnished reality, nostalgia, connection, mystery…

Here’s a snippet from Robert:

To use maybe an unsexy term, good erotica is always putting in work, it’s gathering a momentum beyond just blood flow and pulse rate and dilated pupils. This work could be eliciting a memory for the viewer, or striking their imagination (sexual or otherwise) in just the right way, or launching a train of thought or feeling about beauty or desire or whatever. Plenty of erotica evokes contradictory emotions too – maybe arousal mixed with the unsettling or absurd, and part of the pleasure is holding those feelings together in tension.

“Arousal mixed with the unsettling or absurd”…. That lingers. I’m tempted to jump into the conversation myself; but I have written about this quite a bit before, including:

In Praise Of Vintage Porn (2012)

Why Do Modern Women Love Vintage Babes? (2004)

Articulating Thoughts On Porn (2004)

However, I will keep my eye on the Twitter conversations… You never know what will inspire a thought ~ or what other pretty pictures you’ll see!

A Valentine For Male Chastity

“All keyed up to ask you to be my valentine!”

Suitable to send your femdom or other keyholder; as well as for kinksters into BDSM.

Vintage valentine for sale here; via TrailerTrashGrl.

Sunday Funnies: Vintage Washington Porn Edition

While the world cringes from the current political circus, including recalling sex scandals of the past (some of which may just make the news again thanks to the lawyer for the DC Madam!), we invite you to remember ~ or enjoy for the very first time ~ a classic John Holmes film set in Washington DC: The Senator’s Daughter.

vintage The Senator's Daughter john holmes lesllie bovee

This 1978 porno, directed by Don Flowers, is a tongue in cheek play not only on the dirty side of Washington but on the popularity of TV’s The Six Million Dollar Man. The plot, in case you were interested, features the legendary & larger than life John Holmes as John Galt ~ a famous porn star who is disfigured in a car accident and agrees to undergo experimental surgery in exchange to serve his country as a special agent.

john holmes as bionic secret agent galt

This is no ordinary car accident. As Galt was being fellated during the car ride, his money-maker was completely bitten off during the accident. So the surgery gives him not only a bionic eye, arm, and legs, but a 12-inch bionic dick too ~ cuz, you know, that’s what secret agents need. To the delight of the doctor and nurses, his bionic dick works! (I say most of the nurses are delighted, because one is rather abused and seeks comfort with her mentor ~ you know, in order to get the requisite lesbian scene in.)

vintage lesbian nurses

Then Holmes/Galt is off on this first assignment, which is, of course, to rescue the titular senator’s daughter. The teenage daughter, played by Lesllie Bovee aka Leslie Bovee and Leslie Dubuex, has been kidnapped by the Russian syndicate. Their evil plan is to make a cyborg copy of her ~ which they manage to pull off, but Holmes/Galt thwarts their plans by shooting the cyborg double with his bionic cock weapon. This thrills Mission Control, who has been monitoring everything via the bionic-electronics. The scientists at Mission Control are so excited by the fruits of their labor that they have a party. At the one female scientist’s expense: “Nancy, since you’re the only girl, we’re all gonna kind of gang-bang you.”

Meanwhile, the senator’s daughter is still missing. She’s being held in Tangiers ~ and being repeatedly raped by the Russian kidnappers.

lesllie bovee leslie vintage porn

So the agent’s work isn’t done yet. Along the way, Holmes’ magnificent tool is used in highly unethical, hardcore interrogation efforts.

holmes in tangiers interrogation vintage porn

Spoiler Alert!

In the end, the senator’s daughter is rescued ~ and she marries her secret agent hero.

This film is also included in The Best Of John Holmes Classic Collection ~ which, like The Senator’s Daughter, you can stream online, download, or pay per minute view.

holmes bovee marry

I Want To Believe, Do You?

Sure, Mulder loves porn…

But for those of us who are missing spending our Monday nights with The X-Files (hey, we may still get more ~ eventually), for those who never stopped lusting after X-Files-esque fantasies, there’s Kink’s X-Files porn parody, Mulder Loves Scully: A Sci Fi Gangbang. Full of hardcore, gangbang, fantasy fun.

Starring Juliette March, Tommy Pistol, Mickey Mod, Mark Wood, Karlo Karrera, & Jon Jon.

“The Bitch” From “The Stud”

Joan Collins as Fontaine Khaled in The Stud.

joan collins stockings

The Stud was a 1978 soft-core flick based on the novel written by ~ you guessed it! ~ Jackie Collins.

Enjoy this ~ 5 minute clip montage of the film played to the film’s astonishing-period theme song. Breathlessly sing along, “The Stud, what’s his name, what’s his name!”

To be factually correct about this posts’ title, Collins/Khaled weren’t officially “The Bitch” until the sequel (book and film).

UPDATE:

Here’s the trailer:

Coins In The Slot (Or, Golden Escort Fantasies)

In Australia, where sex work is legal, a Gold Coast sex worker has been advertising her escort services by touting her past modeling experiences. Sounds like a good marketing ploy, right? Wrong.

golden fantasy escortAn Australian escort, who goes by the name “Wild, Raunchy Blondie” under a “Golden Fantasy” escort listing, has been promoting herself as a “stunning meter maid from the Gold Coast” and an “Original Golden Meter Maid.”

Gold Coast meter maids at Surfers Paradise in 1971Despite how that name may sound here in the USA, the “Golden Meter Maids” have nothing to do with any sort of showers. Instead, the Surfers Paradise Meter Maids are legendary tourist attractions, with a 50 year legacy. Pretty women wearing skimpy golden bikinis & the obligatory high heels who wander around the streets of the Australia’s Gold Coast, aka Surfers Paradise, protecting motorists from parking violations. When the beauties spot a meter about to expire, they plug in the requisite coin and place a card on the vehicle’s windshield which reads, “You have just been saved from a parking fine by the Surfers Paradise Meter Maids.” The coins are supplied by the company ~ who earns plenty more by selling tourists trashy & sexy-in-that-college-frat-boy-way souvenirs.

While it’s rather probably that this particular “Golden Fantasy” had worked as one of the meter maids, she did so having signed a disclaimer vowing not to “bring the brand into any form of ill-repute.”

Bikini_Cooler_meter_maidsYes, the company that brings you $15 cheap plastic bikini can coolers, is worried that their image is being tarnished by sex.

Once a meter maid herself, Roberta Aitchison has owned the 50 year old company for the past 30 years. And Aitchison is zealously guarding her kitschy brand, contacting those she feels violate the trademark and the disclaimer. Including taking action against “Golden Fantasy” over this past weekend.

But Aitchison is facing bigger problems than that. Advanced new parking meters are working to render the Surfers Paradise Meter Maids obsolete. And it’s not just the technology, either. Local business owners are complaining that the meter maids are “in clear breach of the council’s anti-touting laws by selling merchandise to tourists.” That news story also says that Aitchison’s business is struggling to attract maids. Perhaps it’s because potential meter maids know they can make more as sex workers ~ when the meters are running.