Nifty Nostalgia For Your Naughty Bits

If you’re of a certain age, maybe even younger, you’ll likely recall the old Sit & Spins and the Hoppity Hop Balls… For those of us who had some pretty nice sexual awakenings on those toys, the iRide conjures those old naughty nostalgic notions…

iRide sit and spin hoppity hop

Saucy Saturday: Vintage Stockings Edition

Lingerie lover and PSO, A Slip Of A Girl, wears a vintage ivory satin bullet bra with a matching ivory satin girdle (with garters, of course!) over pink full-cut panties while putting on a pair of vintage nylon stockings. You can go here to get the 26 rare photos in this series. This photo set was previously only available to VIPs, but for a limited time only you can snag all the stocking pics. You can also follow her on Twitter @SlipOfAGirl.

A-Slip-of-a-GirlChristmasStockings025

Chastity Belt Hysteria: Fart Humor, Fictional History, & Female Hygiene

The Telegraph has a great article on the history of the chastity belt: The odd truth about ‘locking up’ women’s genitalia.

As professor Albrecht Classen, author of The Medieval Chastity Belt: A Myth-Making Process, tells us, the story of the chastity belt begins here:

The first ever depiction of a chastity belt comes from a 1405 drawing in a work called Bellifortis. But as this book on engineering also features fart jokes, Classen believes it was included as a joke. Since then most other literary references to the belts are either allegorical or satirical.

first ever depiction of a chastity belt

He believes subsequent historians were so quick to believe them as fact because rumours spread due to the “perverse nature” of the idea and the fact that it was “so intimately connected with sexuality, the gender relationships, and power structures within the family.”

In other words, chastity belts were so sexual and taboo that “satirical authors and artists, political propagandists, and later collectors and curators quickly and then firmly embraced the idea that the chastity belt actually existed in the Middle Ages and was in widespread use.”

And Sarah E Bond, assistant Professor of Classics at the University of Iowa, eloquently elaborates:

The truth about chastity belts is that they are largely a fiction constructed in the Renaissance and Early Modern periods in order to conjure a more “barbaric” middle age that had come previously.

And that, my friends, is how history is often written ~ to make modern life seem more enlightened.

Yet, how easy it is to blend such mythology with misogyny. …How many so-called conservatives seem to be more than a bit unstably nostalgic for curtailing women’s rights today?

Before anyone gets any ideas that the US should provide health insurance for chastity belts for women (Hey! They wouldn’t need birth control then!), Classen also discusses the fantasy v. reality of chastity belts:

He explains that it is highly improbably men in the Middle Ages ever used chastity belts to control their wives’ chastity because it has never been documented and “would be contradicted by modern medical research…. because a woman would not even survive the consequent hygienic and health problems after several days”.

So, no, patriarchs; such plans to control women and their sexuality remain ill-advised. Not that such facts seem to stop you.

However, my kinksters, feel free to include chastity belts in your safe, sane, & consensual play. It certainly is one way to go mythically Medieval on her ass.

Sunday Funnies: Atypical Risque SPH Racism

While there’s no denying the racist tones of this risque mid-century “bar art” textile, I am surprised at the one small atypical finding…

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The seller describes it thus:

This is a very vintage wall hanging suitable for a bar or man cave. It measures approx. 3 1/2 x 8 34/”. It features a “native” holding a can of beer and a glass of beer and asking the question “What’ll you Have?”. Back in the 50’s this type of risque wall art was found in home bars, more than likely the basement man cave. Completely and totally politically incorrect, over-the-top-tacky and I suppose kitsch. It has been very well preserved these many years and is in great condition. It has a little wooden dowel hanger at the top and the bottom edge is finished with fringe. The native’s long cloth (fringe) lifts up to reveal a surprise. It is made of fabric that has been treated with stiffening, the side panels are printed with gold ink.

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While the seller does not show what’s beneath the native’s fringed attire, surely there’s no large penis hiding there. How unusual to see a racist piece that doesn’t boast of a “native” fool with a large tool, but instead goes for some small penis humiliation.

…But I am dying to see what’s there. Small penis, or not.

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John Holmes As You’ve (Likely) Never Seen Him Before

John Holmes, clothed, yet still displaying his other erotic appendage ~ his tongue! This photo is from Snap Annual (consisting of issues from December 1970, January and February 1971), published by Jaybird Enterprises.

Speaking of Holmes as you’ve never seen him before… Did you know that Larry Flynt has discovered two never-released features starring the legendary porn star? The two featured films, Balls in Action and The Doctor Is In, are the first feature work by John Holmes which were filmed yet never released because the director was making a “career change” at the time. Hustler plans to remastered & release the long lost footage in early 2016.

John Holmes uses his tongue

Inside Every Man There’s An Inner Cross Dresser

Look, the mail has arrived and it’s for the male of the house!

The cover of the box reads “Clothes That Make a Man” ~ let’s look inside…

Clothes That Make a Man

Oh, look! A pretty sketch of a pinup gal wearing a bra and panties! (While I am dying to look beneath the lingerie, we aren’t given any clues… My best guess is that we’ve already seen as much of our pinup girl as we are ever going to.)

vintage Clothes That Make a Man novelty gag humor gift

For me, this is just the epitome of a crossdresser: Dandy suit on the outside, feminine attire beneath.

But, sorry, my CD friends; that probably wasn’t the intended message with this vintage novelty or gag gift.

In fact, this was likely intended to connote the opposite: men become real men when they see a lady in her underthings. Insert manly grunts here. Unless, of course, the real gag was that you weren’t man enough to handle a woman because you were a foppish man who cared more about his dandy appearance. Then insert guffaws and hearty back-slaps here.

Copyright 1948, H. Fishlove & Co. of Chicago. Given the date, this would have been made under the auspicious eye of “Chicago gag kingpin” Irving Fishlove, who was the son of the company’s founder.

And, hey, it only cost 3 cents to mail that thing back in the 1940s or 1950s. …Ah, but having some fun at the expense of a friend via gender norms, that’s priceless.

1948 vintage h fishlove and company

mail a box for 3 pennies

Back When Smoking Was Way More Acceptable Than Smut…

This rather unassuming pack of “Mild” cigarettes was anything but mild back in the day, it was pretty wild!

vintage mild cigarette pack viewer

For the man’s man who was on the go and still needed to enjoy a peepshow, this portable little plastic box was merely designed to look like the average Joe’s pack of cigs. In reality, it operates much like the Fisher Price camera you likely had as a kid ~ only instead of seeing a trip to the zoo, you get a whole other sort of education by peeping at “art studies” of “Hollywood’s most glamorous art models” which are ~ you guessed it ~ nudes.

vintage hollywood glamour art model peepshow nudes

This particular portable pack of vintage porn is Series 1. Appropriately, you were to ask your dealer for more.

get more from your dealer

Sunday Funnies: Marriage Bed Up In Smoke Edition

A young bride turns the tables on her snake-charming husband when his limp cock won’t rise to the occasion on this vintage ashtray. From 1954 this vintage ash tray comes complete with a little flute to jokingly raise the dead dick. Other than ignorant racism, I cannot account for the exclamation of, “Fakir!”

vintage snake chamer ashtray