The Biological Drives Behind Some Holiday Food Traditions

Yesterday, my man and I celebrated Steak & BJ Day ~ with a few modifications. We do not really celebrate Valentine’s Day. (I am, after all, a “curvy man.”) Our Steak & BJ Day rather combines the two holidays, perhaps… It begins with me going down on him, pleasuring him orally, as foreplay before the big event ~ which, yes, is vaginal sex. After that, we eat steak. Simple? Yes. Delightful? Absolutely.

And it’s not necessarily reserved for March 14th, either.

But this whole idea of food and holidays has me thinking of a recent study.

This study showed that when women found themselves with an attractive male, they opted for healthy foods ~ yet men exposed to an attractive woman opted for expensive drinking and dining options.

This does not surprise me one bit. (Not many of these sex or attraction studies do, frankly.)

It makes absolute sense to me that women faced with a potential attractive male mate would be thinking about their health. And not because I believe that women are trying to “be skinny” or otherwise trying to conform to media portrayals of female bodies [insert rant here]. Such conclusions are tedious. Not to mention that making such an assumption is a big leap; “healthy” doesn’t equate “skinniness.” Let’s stick with the notion of health, shall we.

Most of the things we consider to be signs of female beauty are actually flags for fertility. It’s only natural ~ part of our species biological imperative ~ for women to be considering their health when presented with a potential mate.

Similarly, men, who have identified a genetic beauty worthy of insemination would be interested in showcasing their status as excellent providers ~ a la sparing no expense in providing a large display of food and drink.

Again, you can call it sexist, but there’s science and biological drives behind it all.

So is it any wonder then, that women would want men to display their monetary protector/provider status from time to time ~ including honoring anniversaries and “made up Hallmark holidays” like Valentine’s Day?

Here’s a tip, menfolk: If you want her to be more sexually available, try showing her what a big providing man you are. It could be food or chocolates; it could be jewelry. It could be a car. But gifts are always good. Even if Especially if it’s not even a holiday.


You Can Call It “Sexism”, If You Want…

gold-diggers-of-1933Women are attracted to power and wealth, as this means good protectors and providers for offspring. Men are attracted to beauty as it is a sign of health and fertility, leading to off spring. You can consider these facts to be sexist, but there’s biological hard-wiring behind them ~ and science to back it up.

If you’ve been wondering just how this impacts dating, including online dating, there’s a study for that too. And this new study, published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, also backs up the biological facts we’d often like to dismiss as superficial and sexist.

As Justin Lehmiller reports for Playboy:

Evolutionary theorists have long argued that men and women look for different things when choosing a long-term partner because they face different reproductive costs. The basic argument is that men tend to look for women who are healthy and fertile, while women tend to look for men who can provide. As a result, men tend to be a little more focused on looks and women on status and wealth.

The researchers therefore predicted that online personal ads placed by women would receive more replies to the extent that they emphasized physical attractiveness. Likewise, they expected ads placed by men to receive more replies if they focused on professional success.

The researchers correctly predicted the study’s findings:

As expected, the women presented as thin and attractive received significantly more replies from male suitors than women who were described any other way.

Women presented as successful and ambitious received the second highest number of replies. Their response rate was significantly higher than the sensual/passionate and generic ads, which were essentially tied for last. Thus, both good looks and success increased the likelihood of a woman getting a reply.

What about the guys?

As expected, men who were described as successful received the vast majority of all responses, with the remainder being split about evenly between the attractive, hopelessly romantic and generic ads. Among men, success was the only trait linked to an increased likelihood of getting responses from women.

…These results tell us that men and women seem to respond to different things online, with ads emphasizing women’s looks and men’s accomplishments being the most successful.

Image Credits: Scene from Gold Diggers Of 1933.

“I Don’t Know How Much Longer I Can Turn The Trick”

turn the trick

not enough to be soft

be soft attractive

i'm fading now

I don’t know how much longer I can turn the trick. It isn’t enough to be soft. You’ve got to be soft – and attractive. And I – I’m fading now.

Vivien Leigh as Blanche DuBois in A Streetcar Named Desire (1951). It remains one of the greatest films of all time.

Of “Yellow Fever” & Fantasies Of Asian Women

As a former sex worker, I know many fantasies seem problematic. We’ve covered the some of the fetishes & fantasies before, such as BDSM and rape fantasies. But we’ve certainly not covered them all. So I thought we’d take a look as some more of these in a little series. Today, we begin looking at a sub-set of fantasies that seem racist: The male lust for Asian women.

Asian-Slut-AkinaLike most sexual fantasies, sometimes the subject of the fantasy is all about the subjective ideas of “beauty” in the eye of the fantasy holder. In other words, men might search for porn using the words Asian woman sex simply because they find physical attributes typically associated with being Asian attractive and arousing. No, I’m not saying “all Orientals look the same”, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with finding tan skin, dark hair, and shorter yet slimmer builds attractive than it is to like busty blonde white women.

But when men move past such ideas of “beauty” into fantasies of “Asian culture” they start to head into bad, racist territory, primarily, because there is no one Asian culture. Koren culture is different from Japanese culture, Chinese culture is different from Indian culture, and so on. It is simply a fact that there is little unity or even common history for many of the peoples of Asia, so there is no “Asian culture”.

And even when fantasies are more specific, such as lusting after a Japanese geisha girl, it is often based on stereotypes or myths. Like the famous “Asian women are sweet, innocent and submissive” fantasy. Being the dominant man or central figure in fantasies about Asian women are OK. Yes, I’m saying “yellow fever” fantasies are OK. I think fantasies in our heads, in our masturbatory hands, and even played out in our beds are OK because they are fantasies and not reality. (And, heck, our sexual arousal is often based on taboos; certainly the fear of being caught for being a racist qualifies.) However, any time you move from fantasies to reality, from your mind and masturbation to the ways you select sex partners and live your life, you could be headed into trouble.

Debbie Lum has been exploring the complicated nuances of race and romance involved in “yellow fever”. In Seeking Asian Female, her feature-length directing debut, Lum documents an elderly white American man and a young Chinese woman who look for love and find marriage ~ brokered by the Internet. (In April, a companion project, an online video series and forum called They’re All So Beautiful, launches.)

The bottom line: Attraction to Asian women is fine, so long as you accept their beauty for what it is, beauty, and have no expectations of who they are as people, or treat them a certain way, based on such things. Fantasies, even stereotypical fantasies, of Asian women are fine, so long as you can ~ and do ~ separate fantasy from reality.

Image via Asian PSO Akina.

Of Happy (And Unhappy) Lady Beards

Continuing our educational mission to have you fuck and masturbate safely, we alert you to more facts regarding the safety ~ or lack-thereof ~ of sex toys. This time we go past the phthalates (which are are far more dangerous than “women growing little beards”; which is trendy in some, err, places) and get into other health issues. Via Bacchus we direct you to For Novelty Use Only Part 1 and Part 2 by DangerousLilly.

Bearded Lady

What Guys Really Prefer When It Comes to Bikini Waxes … – Glamour

See on Scoop.itLet’s Get Sex Positive

When it comes to makeup, guys usually say they prefer a more natural look, and luckily for the nerve endings on your ladybits it looks like they feel the same way when it comes to more, uh, personal maintenance.


According to a new study commissioned by Nad’s (a hair removal company, natch), when 1,000 men were asked about their preferred look when it comes to hair down under, a Brazilian wasn’t at the top of the list. The favorite that 43 percent of men chose was a “Bermuda triangle,” which is a “trimmed and tidy” look with trimmed hair and waxed sides. Other contenders? A “landing strip” was preferred by 17 percent, a heart shape by 15 percent, and the full Brazilian came in last with only 12 percent of men voting for it as the top look.

See on