The Biological Drives Behind Some Holiday Food Traditions

Yesterday, my man and I celebrated Steak & BJ Day ~ with a few modifications. We do not really celebrate Valentine’s Day. (I am, after all, a “curvy man.”) Our Steak & BJ Day rather combines the two holidays, perhaps… It begins with me going down on him, pleasuring him orally, as foreplay before the big event ~ which, yes, is vaginal sex. After that, we eat steak. Simple? Yes. Delightful? Absolutely.

And it’s not necessarily reserved for March 14th, either.

But this whole idea of food and holidays has me thinking of a recent study.

This study showed that when women found themselves with an attractive male, they opted for healthy foods ~ yet men exposed to an attractive woman opted for expensive drinking and dining options.

This does not surprise me one bit. (Not many of these sex or attraction studies do, frankly.)

It makes absolute sense to me that women faced with a potential attractive male mate would be thinking about their health. And not because I believe that women are trying to “be skinny” or otherwise trying to conform to media portrayals of female bodies [insert rant here]. Such conclusions are tedious. Not to mention that making such an assumption is a big leap; “healthy” doesn’t equate “skinniness.” Let’s stick with the notion of health, shall we.

Most of the things we consider to be signs of female beauty are actually flags for fertility. It’s only natural ~ part of our species biological imperative ~ for women to be considering their health when presented with a potential mate.

Similarly, men, who have identified a genetic beauty worthy of insemination would be interested in showcasing their status as excellent providers ~ a la sparing no expense in providing a large display of food and drink.

Again, you can call it sexist, but there’s science and biological drives behind it all.

So is it any wonder then, that women would want men to display their monetary protector/provider status from time to time ~ including honoring anniversaries and “made up Hallmark holidays” like Valentine’s Day?

Here’s a tip, menfolk: If you want her to be more sexually available, try showing her what a big providing man you are. It could be food or chocolates; it could be jewelry. It could be a car. But gifts are always good. Even if Especially if it’s not even a holiday.


Of The Singles Sex Survey & My Fashion Preditions

The 7th annual Singles in America survey is out. Among the top findings: 34% of singles have had sex before a first date, but Millennials are 48% more likely to have sex before a first date than all other generations of singles.

Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and chief science adviser for Match (who funds the study), says this is because Millennials are “career focused”.

“I think they are very career oriented, so sex before the first date could be a sex interview, where they want to know if they want to spend time with this person.”

You read that right; sex before the first date could be some sort of screening process in which you try out the position(s) before you can get to the first round of actual relationship interviews.

If you think this is a more cosmopolitan “milk for free” proposition that you need to wrap your head about, just accept it as causal sex or even hook-up culture.

[If you really want to delve into this, check out Lisa Wade’s American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus, available on the 15th; a Huff-Po‘s coverage here.]

At Unicorn Booty, certified sex therapist Kimberly Resnick Anderson makes this comment:

“It’s sort of a mixed message because on one hand people judge potential sexual partners based on social media posts, but then they also want them to put (their phones) down,” Anderson says. “It’s kind of a love-hate relationship.”

I’ll help you out, Anderson. It’s not a love-hate thing; it’s a matter of priorities and attention. Who the hell wants to be on a date with a person who is more interested in their phones?

Answer: No one.

Relationships require attention and care.

My favorite finding from the survey? A cracked or otherwise shabby cell phone is a similar to the ripped dungarees of earlier generations, showing a level of slovenly poverty that turns folks off. Ripped jeans were once a sign of lack of care ~ great grandma would wrinkle her nose at the notion of ripped jeans as a fashion statement. If you cared about yourself and who you were with when you wore them, you’d mend those! And so it is with today’s thoughts on mobile phones.

But now ripped jeans are considered sexy. We changed:

Ever since the acid-wash-80’s, when as a culture we abandoned physical labor and the look of hard work and a rugged sense of poverty was seen as anti-establishment, holes in your jeans have been cool.

So, I can’t help but wonder when the signs of tattered phones will be de rigueur with rebellion and giving a finger to The Man…

Prepare yourself for the ability to pay ~ and pay extra! ~ for shabby looking cellphones, so that we can all look like we’re too cool to care about the damages our rock n roll lifestyles do to our phones.

Of course, when we buy them so distressed, it will be strategic cracks and fractures that won’t affect the ability of the phone or gadget to work; they’ll just look like we don’t care. And that’s so sexy!

Oh, come on, we’re all so bougie and you know it.

Image Credits: Couple wearing ripped jeans; Wiberlux Philipp Plein Seventy Eight Metal Detail Destroyed Denim Jeans.

Dream Dates With Happy Endings

While America struggles to listen to the voices of sex workers and acknowledge their human rights, there are Sydney escorts creating heavenly packages that seem like something out of an adult version of Fantasy Island. Or maybe it is more accurate to say these escort packages are more like dates on The Bachelor

sydney escorts spa packageSure, I’m more of an UnReal girl; but that show wouldn’t be possible without the now classic reality television dating shows. And on those shows, aren’t the dates (group or single one-on-one dates) spent doing things like horseback riding and going to a sensual day spa? I’m pretty sure they’ve done a luxury cruise of some sort too… But I’m honestly not a fan of the shows, so maybe I’m wrong about the cruises. Anyway, these sort of luxurious glamour dates are exactly what those Australian escorts are now offering.

Of course, these sexy dates are complete with the honest and paid companionship of an escort. And I say “honest” because those Bachelor babes are paid too ~ it’s just that puritanical Americans like to believe in the romantic farce far more than they like to accept the sexual realities of adults. It’s far more honest to go on one of these dream dates with a paid sex worker ~ that’s the real happy ending. Happier than those made-for-tv-couples.

PS Just beware of the “Luxury Car Package,” fellas. Especially if that automobile is red.

Of Pets & Relationships

The saying “love me, love my dog” may have some basis in reality: A new study suggests that pets can influence how we perceive potential dates.

kinsey intitute dogs At National Geographic, they posted a little article about the impact of pets on our love lives: How Your Pet Can Influence Your Love Life.

While NatGeo points to several studies and articles about the significance of pets in our lives, how they can be used to find potential dates, and the differences between dog & cat people, I was reminded of one thing I observed while escorting…

While you certainly do see and meet a lot of different types of people in sex work (and certainly, at my rate, more well-to-do types), one thing I noticed was the lack of pets that clients had in their lives. They had logical reasons for not having a pet: They worked long hours, they traveled too much, or otherwise felt they couldn’t commit to taking care of an animal. All solid reasons for not being “relationship material” either. But also, this all creates or adds to feelings of loneliness.

Sure, I did see my fair share of married men; and, like many Americans, this included, presumably, those with 2.5 kids and a Labrador in the fenced-in backyard. But those Labs must have belonged to the wife & kids. Or at least the clients must have felt that way. For if the Lab was truly his best friend, he likely wouldn’t have needed to see me so often.

Free Love Was Born In The 60s, But It’s Coming Of Age Today; Is Your Adult Dating Profile Ready?

According to Google Trends, “sex hookups” have become more than just the stuff of a lonely person’s day dreams ~ or a horny person’s wet dreams. Over the past decade, people have moved from the idea of a cheap and easy sexual encounter to taking action by searching online. In fact, searches for “casual sex sites” has grown exponentially in the past five years as well ~ no doubt in response to the generous increase of websites, such as, which kindly offer to help folks meet their needs. Yes, free love may have been born in the 60s ~ but it’s coming of age now.

But you still have to put the work in to find a fuck buddy online. For example, you can’t just do as TechnicallyRon did, and let Google autocomplete fill in the blanks of your dating profile:

However, the biggest sins in creating casual sex dating profiles lay in the photos.

Here are simple tips on how not to screw-up your fuck buddy profile pictures:

1) At least one of your photos should have your face in it. In fact, your primary profile photo ought to have your face in it. Sure, this helps people recognize you when you meet; but seeing your face also puts people at ease. No one wants to risk being lured in by a hot Jessica Rabbit bod only to find themselves having one of those face-to-face-with-Lena-Hyena moments.

You can laugh all you want to; but this is what people fear on these dating sites. Since no one is actually as bad as Lena, don’t be so damn afraid to show your face.

2) Have someone else take natural photos of you to use in your hookup profile. This is not only so that you look like an actual person (instead of those fish-faced selfies), but it proves you have some friends & aren’t a creepy loner. And don’t have the friend take a picture of you in a random weird place. How about just a normal snapshot of you chillin’ at home. Oh, and don’t include other people in the pic. I mean, really ~ who else really wants to be on your sex profile?!

3) Keep nudity under wraps. Yes, these are adult sites; but come on, you needn’t flash all your bits to anyone who passes by your profile. In fact, here’s an escort promotional tip: Use your photos to tease them into wanting to see more of you.

By all means, take those nude photos. But save your completely nude photos in a private album or hold onto them until they are requested. Yes, gents, this includes those dick pics! Even when we women are actively seeking dick, we frown at guys who just whip it out & show it to anyone. Not only does this make you look desperate, but your fascination with your own cock makes you seem like a selfish lover.

Male Entitlement is Lonely

We’ve been set up.

Thing is, women have been setup too, we’ve all been setup, and the more people figure it out, the more the people who haven’t figured it out get angry because we’re not getting what we’re supposed to, because the world has changed and women faster than men are changing meaning we’re getting left behind, but it doesn’t have to be like that.

If you’re listening to this and connecting to any of the frustrations I laid out above then know there’s a better way. Many women don’t need or want us to lay down our lives for them, they don’t want to be put on a pedestal and worshiped, they don’t want to be provided for… they just want to be people, and move with people that understand no one owes anyone anything… and that means us. If we want to be with someone, be with women, and be listened to, friends with, cared for, and loved by women, it needs to be a meeting of equals and a mutual meeting of minds, meeting of hearts, and yes… a mutual meeting of bodies.

Source: GPSC 011: On Jealousy, and a rant on Male Entitlement – The Gentleperverts’ Social Club

Seldom do I find anyone who sees things as I do, when it comes to men and women. I get so angry, frustrated and then hopeless. My own family don’t get it and they make me feel I’m wrong and that’s why I’m still alone.

But, I know I’m not wrong.

I want someone to be with – not to be with someone, like an appendage or a caretaker. As much as I want someone in my life I can’t accept what the men I meet are willing to give. It’s not enough, it’s self-centred and they don’t even see it! I want a partner in my life, a male partner. Why is it so hard for me to find a man who says he wants a life together and actually MEANS it?

One real date and I can see everything he said online was just giving me the party line (telling me what he thinks will work to get what he wants). Most of them I don’t even meet in person because I see it in their conversation through email, chat or whatever medium I find them in. Men will seem like real people and then become sex robots, all they can talk about is sex. What they want, how they want it and I don’t even know who they are yet! But, I’ve likely been offered a photo of his penis. I don’t want it.

I want a person, not quite an equal because we aren’t clones. I don’t mind a man with baggage (depending on how much there is – not more than I have myself).

Instead every day I just get angry. I try to shove it off. I try not to feel anything when I see all the male entitlement around every day, just about every where. Of course, the more I try not to see it the more I do see it. As I get older I only see it more clearly. It’s sick and twisted but I don’t blame all of it on men. Don’t think I’m bashing men just because they have this feeling of being first, entitled to being first and more important.

Society gives them the attitude, strokes them with it and whispers in their ear about how much power they have, how important they are and how they deserve to be first. I don’t think most men see it. I know a lot of women don’t because they would soon be wearing more clothes, for one thing, if they did.

I don’t feel like writing/ ranting any more. I’d rather be doing something else. You’re welcome to leave indignant, misguided, abusive and ranting comments. People love to show how right they are – as if anyone is listening. I’ll be reading a book.

actsingleTumblr: The Rules of a Gentleman

Hold The Phone! It’s Time For A Sex News Round-Up!

Sean Ferguson on phone Normally, I just curate/post all the short bits & bobs in sex news at Scoop.It; but as several recent stories seem to have connections & require more context and comment, here’s a sex news round-up.

To keep the phone idiom going, let’s start with phone sex news. Phone sex consultant, Lynn, was doing some research for a client and discovered that of all the countries in the world, the one from which the most (Google) searches for “femdom” and related fetishes is… (drum-roll) Syria! Talk about your cultural taboos & hypocrisy. The connections to the Arab Spring and current terrorist events are pretty obvious too. (While you’re there, you may wish to check out some of the rude things phone sex callers do to their PSOs. Shame, shame!)

Remember last year, when we talked about the whole “men like to mate when the weather is cooler” thing? Well, on the flip side, economists look at climate change (aka global warming), less sex, and what it may mean for the planet’s population.

No mention of climate change as the reason, but folks in Japan are having less sex. Well, at least they are having less sex with other people, anyway. For we know the Japanese are heavily into masturbating (all that JAV porn, tentacle porn, and other delicious Japanese weirdness) ~ and masturbation is sex. While we might suggest that all the fab Japanese kinky masturbation material is to blame for less interest in sex with a partner, experts say the systemic gender inequality is the culprit. And this so-called sexual apathy is going to fuck up the world economy.

The sexism in Japan may be horrible, but overall it is better than China’s general attitude towards women, where the single child rule has led to putting girl babies up for adoption ~ and female infanticide. Surprise! The pay off is a large gender imbalance, creating a plethora of “bare branches”, as the bachelors are called. One economist’s suggestion? Let men share wives. Note the patriarchal tone ~ including in the ensuing outrage. Who knows, perhaps matriarchy will be the result?

Matriarchy in China isn’t merely a matter of crossing one’s fingers and hoping either. Already, Chinese men are willing to dig deep and spend $2,500 on sex dolls, not only as a replacement for a female in their lives, but so as not to seek sex workers or otherwise commit adultery and anger their wives. No mention of women who may prefer sex dolls of their own.

Speaking of women and their power, anthropologist Dr. Sarah B. Hrdy has been studying the topic of female aggression. Yes, she found we have it. One of her statements, “that suppression of female sexuality is by women, not necessarily by men,” confounds a bit ~ as it rather suggests that women in a male dominated patriarchy aren’t compelled to comply to male standards.

However, in that same article, Dr. Christopher J. Ferguson, a psychologist at Stetson University, stated that research shows women are not so much affected by media images as they are by the appearance of peers and other women around them (even more so when men are in attendance). This rather supports what I wrote years ago ~ at least as far as the media images part goes. See: Body Image In Art, Porn & Media.

But Ferguson & others still seem to align with Hrdy’s position; i.e. that women act as “mean girls” to control one another. Ah, but since they repeat themselves, I will as well. Women are still living in a male dominated society and therefore will seek to survive and thrive under the paradigm of the patriarchy.

While I still have you on the line (Get it? I’m back to the phone puns!), I’d like to direct you to this article about virtual sex options (it also has excellent tips on privacy & safety for clients too).

Image Credits: Sean Ferguson at Temptation of Eve

More Blind Date & First Date Advice From Sex Workers

sex-worker-q-and-a-at-skWe began our very first Sex Worker Q & A series by discussing dating, asking the dating pros to share their tips for managing blind dates and first dates.

That dating series began at the very first and most important step by covering tips for dating safety. From there, we moved onto other dating issues: making a good first impression, how to address dating jitters, how to get and keep conversations going, dealing with dating mistakes, and even how to handle it when the date is not going well. Just to make sure I didn’t miss any gems, I ended the questioning by asking if the escorts, phone sex operators, and cam girls had any other dating tips or advice…

Addy Finch (an escort specializing in transgender/transsexual companionship):

As much as I can, I avoid giving out personal information (address, phone number) before a first date. In case things go poorly and they’re clingy or creepy, their only real means of contact will be how you met. If you’re dating online, you can always block them, and if it was through a friend, you can pretty easily let your friend know how the date went and that you’re uninterested.

If things go well, it never hurts to send a follow-up text thanking them for their time – unless their monogamous partner sees it, of course, in which case you’ve managed to set off a ticking bomb from a distance.

“Alice: (an anonymous sex worker with 17 years experience in erotic services, seven of them as a sex worker rights activist):

Plan your difficult moments ahead of time. For example: How will you handle the convo about safe sex?

A Slip Of A Girl (phone sex operator, specializing in lingerie fetish, crossdressing, and sissification):

We all have “baggage”, secrets, or things we worry might be deal breakers at some point; but don’t worry so much about carrying those thing or even sharing them now. Relax and enjoy your dates without worrying about the next steps and how it might all just blow up. There’s time for those worries later. *wink*

But seriously, enjoy the moment(s) and see if this could turn into something you might miss someday before you self-destruct things now.

Oh, and don’t be so concerned about being accepted that you ignore warning signs that this person is disrespectful, abusive, or otherwise dangerous. Safety first & always.

Claire Keeler (full service independent sex worker & award winning, published photographer working on a photographic essay called Whoretography):

Yes, eat god damn it. None of this eating a salad if you really want the burger. Eat the burger. It implies confidence with yourself and body and confidence is sexy as fuck in women. More sexy than flashing cleavage.

DiQld (a BBW MILF escort):

If in doubt don’t! Trust your instincts!

And on that date, go somewhere you have always wanted to go!

Holly (an independent escort, sometimes brothel worker):

Be yourself! The right person will like you just as you are! Smile! If you are having a good time, don’t be shy to let them know you are enjoying their company.

Oh, and don’t get wasted lol.

Kaylee Pond (geek culture and cosplay cam girl):

As cheesy as it is, BE YOURSELF! The best thing you can do for yourself is to be genuine and show them your real personality and interests. If what you’re looking for is love, or a relationship, you want someone to truly like you the way you are. If you make someone believe you’re something that you’re not, it’s likely that you’re setting both of you up for a bad time and just prolonging the inevitable. Someone who is right for you will love you exactly the way you are and it’s best not to dwell on those who don’t work out!

Also, remember that you are worthwhile and awesome! It’s easy to put someone you’re interested in on a pedestal and worry about being good enough for them, but you have to put those sorts of things aside because they can be very damaging. We’re all just people! Sometimes we’re not compatible with each other, but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with either person, it just means you haven’t found someone who is right for you yet!

Confidence is very important, so just remember to be confident in yourself and try not to stress out or worry too much!

Secondhand Rose (a former escort, presently offering custom erotica and virtual companionship via text and telephone):

One of the best dating tips I ever got was from my dad back in those early teen years…

He said, “Rose, dating is not just the opportunity to learn about another person and evaluate how suitable they are for you; it is equally an opportunity to learn more about yourself.

Of course I think my dad is brilliant — and it’s partly because of advice like that!

Use your date time as a chance to learn about yourself. Even if that date turns out to not be with Mr or Ms Right, you might discover new people, places, things you do like. That’s a dating win!

Angela St. Lawrence (erotic fetish phone sex operator):

You deserve the very best person for Y O U ! Date casually and for fun, but keep your eye on the prize.


You Can Call It “Sexism”, If You Want…

gold-diggers-of-1933Women are attracted to power and wealth, as this means good protectors and providers for offspring. Men are attracted to beauty as it is a sign of health and fertility, leading to off spring. You can consider these facts to be sexist, but there’s biological hard-wiring behind them ~ and science to back it up.

If you’ve been wondering just how this impacts dating, including online dating, there’s a study for that too. And this new study, published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, also backs up the biological facts we’d often like to dismiss as superficial and sexist.

As Justin Lehmiller reports for Playboy:

Evolutionary theorists have long argued that men and women look for different things when choosing a long-term partner because they face different reproductive costs. The basic argument is that men tend to look for women who are healthy and fertile, while women tend to look for men who can provide. As a result, men tend to be a little more focused on looks and women on status and wealth.

The researchers therefore predicted that online personal ads placed by women would receive more replies to the extent that they emphasized physical attractiveness. Likewise, they expected ads placed by men to receive more replies if they focused on professional success.

The researchers correctly predicted the study’s findings:

As expected, the women presented as thin and attractive received significantly more replies from male suitors than women who were described any other way.

Women presented as successful and ambitious received the second highest number of replies. Their response rate was significantly higher than the sensual/passionate and generic ads, which were essentially tied for last. Thus, both good looks and success increased the likelihood of a woman getting a reply.

What about the guys?

As expected, men who were described as successful received the vast majority of all responses, with the remainder being split about evenly between the attractive, hopelessly romantic and generic ads. Among men, success was the only trait linked to an increased likelihood of getting responses from women.

…These results tell us that men and women seem to respond to different things online, with ads emphasizing women’s looks and men’s accomplishments being the most successful.

Image Credits: Scene from Gold Diggers Of 1933.

When That Date’s Not Going Well… Tips From Sex Workers


Since sex workers are real pros when it comes to dating, turning first & blind dates into repeat customers, we’ve been asking them to share their best dating tips. We began with dating safety tips, covered making a good first impression, dished on dealing with dating jitters, exposed the secrets of how to get and keep those conversations going, addressed dealing with dating mistakes, and now we’re talking about what to do when that date is, well, a dog.

Let’s say the date is absolutely not going well for you; how do you handle it?

“Alice” (an anonymous sex worker with 17 years experience in erotic services, seven of them as a sex worker rights activist):

There are simply too many enjoyable people out there to waste time trying to enjoy someone you can’t.

I assess: Is this going poorly because we are in a place I don’t like, or is this person really the problem, or am I just not in the mood for this right now?

If the date is really just not compatible with me, I decide how gracefully I want to exit, and then I do it. Then I listen to loud music and tell myself I did the right thing, even if it was socially very scary for me. Ending a date early seems really hard, until you’ve done it, and realize how much better you can feel, and how quickly!

Angela St. Lawrence (erotic fetish phone sex operator):

If the guy’s a dick, I have no problem telling him so and leaving. But if he’s just boring or awkward, or there’s no chemistry, I’ll usually stick it out. Things could actually change during the course of the date, and if not, I’ve at least spared his feelings.

Addy Finch (an escort specializing in transgender/transsexual companionship):

First off, never hard schedule a time that you’re going to meet someone until; always leave yourself the option of going home early. This means not going to plays or movies or concerts. Again, transport yourself to your date.

Wrap up whatever you’re doing, finish your drink, or have your food boxed up. Let your date know that you have an engagement you need to get to and that you need to leave shortly. I normally check a clock with an, “Oh, gosh, that was quick. I’m supposed to meet up with a friend who’s in town.”

Whatever your excuse is, don’t allow for wiggle room on staying a little later. If they ask about getting together again, I tend to be courteous and let them know I’ll be in touch when my schedule’s clear. Unfortunately for them, there will always be something, even time alone, that’s more important.

Holly (an independent escort, sometimes brothel worker):

I always give myself an out… So I might go meet them at a bar, because I’m driving I can only have 2 drinks and then I have to go. If the date is bad, I will have the 2 drinks and then leave, thanking for the nice and time and tell them I will be in touch!

Claire Keeler (full service independent sex worker & award winning, published photographer working on a photographic essay called Whoretography):

Name the game and just say it the way that it is, “Look this is not going well,” a polite smile and exit stage left.

DiQld (a BBW MILF escort):

Thank them for a nice evening and wish them well in the future.

Kaylee Pond (geek culture and cosplay cam girl):

If I’m really not enjoying myself, I would probably still do my best to stick it out and give them a fair shot. If I’ve taken my own advice and met somewhere non-committal like a coffee shop then I should have a polite “out” fairly quickly. Once coffee is done I can just say that I have to go, thank them for the date, and say it was nice meeting them! I would avoid lying or acting like there will be another date if you know that there won’t be.

Goddess Audrey Rae (clip girl, occasional PSO and camgirl, specializing in Femdom and fetish):

I’m a big fan of the fake phone call. Both for safety issues and just to get yourself out of a situation you don’t want to be in anymore! If you really need to stick around for whatever reason, then try to save face as much as possible until you have an excuse to leave.

Secondhand Rose (a former escort, presently offering custom erotica and virtual companionship via text and telephone):

Be honest about it. Not only does that help avoid misunderstandings (and those repeated requests for dates), but sometimes it creates magic…

One time, I was on a date with a man I met on the Internet. We had great chemistry chatting there, and on the phone; but when we were sitting together at the restaurant bar, having drinks, the chemistry was just not there. It wasn’t even awkward and boring small talk — conversing was like pulling teeth! The thought of progressing to a table to eat with this man was an anathema to me. So I turned to him and said, “This isn’t going well, is it; let’s pass on dinner.” It was more of a statement than a question, but he agreed he felt the same. We decided to end the date — but a funny thing happened as we walked out the door…

We began talking about how awkward it was, how you never knew how things would be in person even if you thought you had great conversations online and on the phone, and suddenly we were laughing and dishing and voila!

We sat in the parking lot, sharing a beautiful summer’s night until the sun came up — and even then, we didn’t want to part. That date may have began as a “bad date”, but it led to a wonderful, committed, lovely, long-term relationship.

A Slip Of A Girl (phone sex operator, specializing in lingerie fetish, crossdressing, and sissification):

I usually try to make the most of it. Unless there is something creepy or unsafe, then I leave taking every safety precaution I can.

Typically, if I’ve had such a bad time that I do not to want another date, they are feeling the same way. But if they should call and ask for another date, I’ll politely but firmly decline so as to make it clear that I am not interested. It saves everyone’s time, patience, and feelings, really.