Whether you’ve been cornered into that blind date your friend sent you on, have agreed to meet that guy or gal from that online dating site, or are finally going on that all-important first date with the person you’ve had your eye on forever, you’re now probably wondering about how to make a good first impression on that date…
Who better to tell you about how to make a great first impression than professional daters?
Answer: No one.
Not only does a sex worker’s livelihood depend upon making a great first impression, but they also are witness to many first impressions ~ good and bad ~ of their own. And, yes, that does mean that sex workers can reject clients who don’t pass their standards. Rejection in dating is a two-way street, paid or not.
We now continue our Sex Worker Q & A Dating Series with tips on how to make a good impression on that first date or blind date.
What helps make a good first impression?
Kaylee Pond (nerd culture and cosplay cam girl):
Dress nicely, put effort into your appearance, and be warm and genuine!
A Slip Of A Girl (a phone sex operator, specializing in lingerie fetish):
Wear appropriate clothing for the occasion. Women tend to over-dress, be “too dressy” or even too flashy, while men tend to under-dress and be too casual in their clothing. Over-dressed sends the message that you are high maintenance. Under-dressed sends the message that you just don’t care. Neither sets the right tone for a date. I’ve found the best way to avoid this is by discussing the place you’ll be on your date. For example, if you are the one suggesting the place, you can say something like, “If you don’t mind wearing a suit and tie, I love Chez Charlie.” If your date is suggesting the place and you are not familiar with it, you might ask your date about the dress code. If asking your date makes you feel uncomfortable, ask your friends, use the web to research the place, or even make a phone call to find out.
“Alice” (a sex worker with 17 years experience in erotic services and sex worker activism):
Showing up on time. Eye contact. Remembering details the other person shared with you about themselves and checking in. (For instance, if a person says, “I have to leave town on Friday, let’s meet on Wednesday,” I always ask about the upcoming trip.)
Goddess Audrey Rae (a Femdom and fetish clip girl, occasional PSO and camgirl):
Just being yourself really. I know that’s kinda overdone advice, but if you pretend to be someone you aren’t, that’s just an act you’re going to have to keep up and it’s not worth it. Dress appropriately for whatever event you’re going to, and making sure you have good hygiene helps a lot also.
Addy Finch (escort specializing in transgender/transsexual companionship):
Shower beforehand, show up on time, put your fucking phone away the entire time. Basically: be conscientious and respectful.
Angela St. Lawrence (a phone sex operator specializing in fetishes):
Cleanliness is next to Godliness.
Secondhand Rose (an escort who now works as an erotica author and virtual courtesan):
Showing up on time. Good hygiene. Proper dress. Paying attention to your date, not your cellphone, etc. In that order.
Oh, and don’t wear too much cologne or perfume. Fragrance should be something pleasant that draws you in further and then encircles in an embrace, not something that slaps another in the face and keeps folks at arm’s length. See: sillage.
Claire Keeler (an independent sex worker & award winning photographer now working on a photographic essay called Whoretography):
This will sound really simple and it has nothing to do with looks. Its all about manners, punctuality and politeness. The problem these days is common sense is not common and sometimes men forget to be gentlemen. There is no shame in having certain expectations of how you think its okay for men to behave around you.
More in the series yet to come!