The Biological Drives Behind Some Holiday Food Traditions

Yesterday, my man and I celebrated Steak & BJ Day ~ with a few modifications. We do not really celebrate Valentine’s Day. (I am, after all, a “curvy man.”) Our Steak & BJ Day rather combines the two holidays, perhaps… It begins with me going down on him, pleasuring him orally, as foreplay before the big event ~ which, yes, is vaginal sex. After that, we eat steak. Simple? Yes. Delightful? Absolutely.

And it’s not necessarily reserved for March 14th, either.

But this whole idea of food and holidays has me thinking of a recent study.

This study showed that when women found themselves with an attractive male, they opted for healthy foods ~ yet men exposed to an attractive woman opted for expensive drinking and dining options.

This does not surprise me one bit. (Not many of these sex or attraction studies do, frankly.)

It makes absolute sense to me that women faced with a potential attractive male mate would be thinking about their health. And not because I believe that women are trying to “be skinny” or otherwise trying to conform to media portrayals of female bodies [insert rant here]. Such conclusions are tedious. Not to mention that making such an assumption is a big leap; “healthy” doesn’t equate “skinniness.” Let’s stick with the notion of health, shall we.

Most of the things we consider to be signs of female beauty are actually flags for fertility. It’s only natural ~ part of our species biological imperative ~ for women to be considering their health when presented with a potential mate.

Similarly, men, who have identified a genetic beauty worthy of insemination would be interested in showcasing their status as excellent providers ~ a la sparing no expense in providing a large display of food and drink.

Again, you can call it sexist, but there’s science and biological drives behind it all.

So is it any wonder then, that women would want men to display their monetary protector/provider status from time to time ~ including honoring anniversaries and “made up Hallmark holidays” like Valentine’s Day?

Here’s a tip, menfolk: If you want her to be more sexually available, try showing her what a big providing man you are. It could be food or chocolates; it could be jewelry. It could be a car. But gifts are always good. Even if Especially if it’s not even a holiday.


Fucking Robots For The Baby-Batter

Whether your love of robots is as fetish or you just like the idea of a super-charged male masturbator, a Chinese hospital in Nanjing, capital of Jiangsu Province, has created something just for you: an automatic sperm extracting machine, aka a jack-off-robot.


Of course, the new robot sex machine was created just to “help individuals that are finding it difficult to retrieve sperm the old fashioned way.” But isn’t that just what all masturbators are, really?

The only real difference is that someone wants to collect the deposit ~ and for the purpose of making a baby.


What’s Behind Winter Romance?

hard-on heart on winter romanceDid you know that there’s an official “wedding engagement season”? Yup, in spite of the fact that it pisses Jezebel off (They get pissed off over the weirdest stuff.), roughly 40% of proposals occur between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day.

Many people like to credit the busy winter holiday season, with its mix of family togetherness and men too cheap to spring for a gift along with a ring, for the peak in “the wedding engagement season”. And I’m not the only one who says so:

Families are together, sparkly lights abound and people are in the mood to unwrap things.

And if a guy’s gonna pop the question eventually, he might as well use the opportunity to avoid shopping for a holiday gift and kill two birds with — ahem — one stone.

But maybe there’s another factor: cold weather.

A recent study (2008) revealed that heterosexual men are more sexually attracted to the female form in winter; Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller reports:

In this experiment, 114 heterosexual men between the ages of 16 and 53 rated the attractiveness of several women every three months over the course of about one year. Specifically, once per season, each man was asked to rate two sets of photos that appeared in a random order: one showing only women’s faces, and the other showing women’s bodies. The body photos consisted of either women in revealing bathing suits or close-up shots of women’s breasts.

The researchers found that men’s attraction to women’s faces did not change during the course of the year; however, their attraction to women’s bodies did, such that men reported being more attracted to women’s bodies and breasts during the winter months compared to the summer months. Furthermore, men who were in the same romantic relationship over the course of the entire study reported similar fluctuations in how attracted they were to their partner. Specifically, guys tended to think that their partners were hotter in the winter than in the summer.

Lehmiller also provides other studies which seem to back up these findings, and speculates as to why this may occur:

Think of it this way: because everyone is showing a lot of skin during summer, the bar for what qualifies as “hot” is set higher; in the winter, skin is rarely seen, so it becomes more novel and arousing to look at. The fact that facial ratings didn’t change supports this idea. Given that people tend to see faces all year round, the standard of facial comparison is always pretty constant. An alternative possibility is that men’s hormone levels fluctuate seasonally, and perhaps this is what accounts for their differing patterns of attraction.

What I find most remarkable is that the biological reasons for this are missing from this discussion of seasonal human behavior.

An obvious place to begin is with all the fertility discussions surrounding keeping a man’s junk cool in order to increase testosterone, sperm count, and sperm mobility. Perhaps the natural “keeping it cool” factor of winter weather is part of a greater biological design for species survival.

erotic nude woman in snowWhether you are talking about foraging or farming, it makes sense that our early ancestors would have less movement, less work, during the colder months. Since human offspring require such a long maturity time, hunkering down in one space makes it easier and safer to take care of vulnerable infants. This way, more children (and their mothers) are likely to survive and be strong enough to thrive when warmer weather increases work and mobility.

Males being more in the mood for sex during such colder weather would lead not only to the creation of more offspring due to arrive at the start of the next cold season, the optimal time to raise them, but such intimacies (sex and continued proximity) would better assist in forming relationship bonds as well.

So maybe it’s simply a biological imperative, a drive that comes with cold weather, which explains why hetero men, despite all their complaints, are so willing to put up with Valentine’s Day. If Saint Valentine had been assigned a date for his feast in, say, June, perhaps the so-called “Hallmark holiday” would not have fared as well.


Get Ready For That Easter Egg Hunt

Ah, Spring… You are on the way, right? And nothing says “Spring” quite like the fertility celebration of Easter bunnies and Easter egg hunts. For a more grown-up version, skip the Paas Easter Egg Dye and go for pretty pastel bras, like these from Secrets In Lace. Your lover won’t have to hunt to find these goodies ~ they’re front and center, after all. But they’ll be so eager to get their paws on them, I’m sure you can come up with ways to make a game out of things and make them earn their holiday treats.

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