An Interview with Erika Lust on Crowdsourcing Feminist Porn

“Even though I love coming up with my own scenarios for films, it feels way more communal and diverse to let people tell me their erotic visions. Ordinary people have extraordinary stories to tell, and they are a joy to shoot.”

Sourced through Scoop.it from: harlot.media

Love Erika Lust! Here’s my interview with her too.

See on Scoop.itLet’s Get Sex Positive

Arousr Info Update

arousr-sextingAwhile ago we reviewed sexting, phone sex, and video chat site Arousr and found it rather awesome. If you’re still on the fence, check out this interview Arousr staff which dishes on aspects for chat hosts as well as the authenticity factor for clients. (Yes, the girls are real!)

Helpful tips: You can search for sexy women who are willing to have adult chat and private cam sessions by several demographics, including blondes, chicks with big boobs, and, for those of you with Yellow Fever, Asians. Of course, there’s a directory of fetish interests and conversation topics as well. You can also simply see who is available right now.

Here’s where you get the free app.

Celebrating MLK Day With Sex Fantasies Of Racial Degradation

Over at Lynn’s phone sex Tumblr, there’s a post today that not only isn’t likely what Martin Luther King Jr. envisioned, but certainly will upset more than a few people:

It may not be what Martin Luther King Jr. envisioned, but if you’d like to enjoy the day off for MLK day by getting off with some racial degradation, go for it. Operators are standing by!

Some, like Heidi, can’t stand white cock. But there’s more to racial degradation than big black cock – for women or men. There are other humiliating race-based fantasies which are best acted out in the privacy of your own home with a savvy phone sex operator. This in addition to just plain hot fantasies of Asian women, Latina babes, ebony beauties… Maybe it’s a simple attraction to exotic beauty… Maybe it’s a racial thing… Whether it’s Yellow Fever or Jungle Fever, maybe your racial lust is still taboo for you.  Maybe you’re the man or woman of color looking for a white woman or man to belittle you for your race… Or maybe you need someone, anyone, to put you in place for your white privilege with some financial domination.

There are even sex fantasies involving religious blasphemy.  In today’s post Arab Spring world, there’s been a huge increase in Muslim men looking for femdom action.

So what’s your cultural sexual sin? Confess it, play with it, blow a load and take a load off your mind with these PSOs who are ready to go for some serious racial degradation.

At first glace, this may just seem to be somewhat distasteful marketing ploy for attention and phone sex promotion on a relatively lazy US holiday (even taking advantage of the MLKDay hash); but there is more to it than that.

mps mlk day racial phonesex fantasiesFor one, Lynn, who runs the site, is the pro behind Phone Sex Secrets; so she knows more than a thing or two about phone sex and sex work trends. (Her research on the connection between the Arab Spring uprising and the Google blow-up of “femdom” searches was even picked up by Dr. Gloria Brame.)

As Lynn notes, sex work is a part of capitalism. There wouldn’t be categories of racial fantasies if they didn’t sell, if folks didn’t make bank. As a former escort, I can attest to the high frequency of racial fantasies, degrading or not, that lurk in the minds of Americans. And who among us cannot see the racism that’s running rampant today, especially in the Republican followers of Donald Trump?! Not your Angel, aka TrailerTrashGrl, certainly sees how all this is impacting male power, fears, and fantasies!

The question, really, is that does playing out such taboo fantasies help or hinder? We know that playing with taboos can provide great relief for the individual. And when fantasies are given a private outlet, they can be kept as fantasies without ruining our society ~ in fact, it can help preserve society.

As I’ve said before, fantasies are just fine; as long as you separate fantasy from reality and not create expectations, laws, etc. of of them.

I Just Want To Say How Terribly Disappointing It Is When Porn Stars Say “Squirting Is Pee”

WoodRocket asked female porn stars, “Is squirt pee?”

My first reaction to the very first porn star that said female ejaculate is pee made me quite angry. It is not pee.

But then, as some explained, there are porn stars who don’t squirt (so they likely do not educate themselves?) and others admit that some girls are drinking so much water that they force themselves to pee and porn producers market the films as squirting (including, sometimes, to get around censorship issues).

But again: squirting is so not urine.

And saying that because female ejaculate “comes out of the same hole” that a woman pees out of is stupid; does anyone actually confuse the two liquids that come out of “the same hole” on a man?!

Repeat: Female ejaculate is not pee.

If any doctor tries to tell you otherwise, just remember this: They just discovered the clit in 2009 and are debating whether or not the G-spot is real, so how can we expect them to know anything about female ejaculation?

All this said, I won’t be an idiot and insist every woman can or even wants to squirt. Or that some aren’t peeing; like April O’Neil says in the video, even if you ladies do pee during sex, “Whatever makes you feel good, if that happens when you orgasm and that makes you feel better, fucking go for it.”

Women’s bodies, and minds, are more complicated than that. We are blessed to be able to orgasm in a myriad of ways. And should your clitoral orgasms be so awesome that you don’t want to bother with anything else, I’m completely fine with that. It’s your body, dammit! But if you are interested in squirting, get a copy of Deborah Sundahl’s book. And for more info ~ with real squirting action ~ see Squirt Salon.

Uncensored version of WoodRocket video is here.

When That Date’s Not Going Well… Tips From Sex Workers

sex-worker-q-and-a-at-sk

Since sex workers are real pros when it comes to dating, turning first & blind dates into repeat customers, we’ve been asking them to share their best dating tips. We began with dating safety tips, covered making a good first impression, dished on dealing with dating jitters, exposed the secrets of how to get and keep those conversations going, addressed dealing with dating mistakes, and now we’re talking about what to do when that date is, well, a dog.

Let’s say the date is absolutely not going well for you; how do you handle it?

“Alice” (an anonymous sex worker with 17 years experience in erotic services, seven of them as a sex worker rights activist):

There are simply too many enjoyable people out there to waste time trying to enjoy someone you can’t.

I assess: Is this going poorly because we are in a place I don’t like, or is this person really the problem, or am I just not in the mood for this right now?

If the date is really just not compatible with me, I decide how gracefully I want to exit, and then I do it. Then I listen to loud music and tell myself I did the right thing, even if it was socially very scary for me. Ending a date early seems really hard, until you’ve done it, and realize how much better you can feel, and how quickly!

Angela St. Lawrence (erotic fetish phone sex operator):

If the guy’s a dick, I have no problem telling him so and leaving. But if he’s just boring or awkward, or there’s no chemistry, I’ll usually stick it out. Things could actually change during the course of the date, and if not, I’ve at least spared his feelings.

Addy Finch (an escort specializing in transgender/transsexual companionship):

First off, never hard schedule a time that you’re going to meet someone until; always leave yourself the option of going home early. This means not going to plays or movies or concerts. Again, transport yourself to your date.

Wrap up whatever you’re doing, finish your drink, or have your food boxed up. Let your date know that you have an engagement you need to get to and that you need to leave shortly. I normally check a clock with an, “Oh, gosh, that was quick. I’m supposed to meet up with a friend who’s in town.”

Whatever your excuse is, don’t allow for wiggle room on staying a little later. If they ask about getting together again, I tend to be courteous and let them know I’ll be in touch when my schedule’s clear. Unfortunately for them, there will always be something, even time alone, that’s more important.

Holly (an independent escort, sometimes brothel worker):

I always give myself an out… So I might go meet them at a bar, because I’m driving I can only have 2 drinks and then I have to go. If the date is bad, I will have the 2 drinks and then leave, thanking for the nice and time and tell them I will be in touch!

Claire Keeler (full service independent sex worker & award winning, published photographer working on a photographic essay called Whoretography):

Name the game and just say it the way that it is, “Look this is not going well,” a polite smile and exit stage left.

DiQld (a BBW MILF escort):

Thank them for a nice evening and wish them well in the future.

Kaylee Pond (geek culture and cosplay cam girl):

If I’m really not enjoying myself, I would probably still do my best to stick it out and give them a fair shot. If I’ve taken my own advice and met somewhere non-committal like a coffee shop then I should have a polite “out” fairly quickly. Once coffee is done I can just say that I have to go, thank them for the date, and say it was nice meeting them! I would avoid lying or acting like there will be another date if you know that there won’t be.

Goddess Audrey Rae (clip girl, occasional PSO and camgirl, specializing in Femdom and fetish):

I’m a big fan of the fake phone call. Both for safety issues and just to get yourself out of a situation you don’t want to be in anymore! If you really need to stick around for whatever reason, then try to save face as much as possible until you have an excuse to leave.

Secondhand Rose (a former escort, presently offering custom erotica and virtual companionship via text and telephone):

Be honest about it. Not only does that help avoid misunderstandings (and those repeated requests for dates), but sometimes it creates magic…

One time, I was on a date with a man I met on the Internet. We had great chemistry chatting there, and on the phone; but when we were sitting together at the restaurant bar, having drinks, the chemistry was just not there. It wasn’t even awkward and boring small talk — conversing was like pulling teeth! The thought of progressing to a table to eat with this man was an anathema to me. So I turned to him and said, “This isn’t going well, is it; let’s pass on dinner.” It was more of a statement than a question, but he agreed he felt the same. We decided to end the date — but a funny thing happened as we walked out the door…

We began talking about how awkward it was, how you never knew how things would be in person even if you thought you had great conversations online and on the phone, and suddenly we were laughing and dishing and voila!

We sat in the parking lot, sharing a beautiful summer’s night until the sun came up — and even then, we didn’t want to part. That date may have began as a “bad date”, but it led to a wonderful, committed, lovely, long-term relationship.

A Slip Of A Girl (phone sex operator, specializing in lingerie fetish, crossdressing, and sissification):

I usually try to make the most of it. Unless there is something creepy or unsafe, then I leave taking every safety precaution I can.

Typically, if I’ve had such a bad time that I do not to want another date, they are feeling the same way. But if they should call and ask for another date, I’ll politely but firmly decline so as to make it clear that I am not interested. It saves everyone’s time, patience, and feelings, really.

Dealing With Dating Mistakes: Tips From Sex Workers

sex-worker-q-and-a-at-skContinuing (somewhat slowly) our discussion with sex workers about first dates and blind dates

In this fifth part in the series, we’re asking the professionals to focus on specific dating mistakes ~ so that you can avoid some of the biggest and most common dating blunders ~ as well as when and how you may be able to recover from them.

What do you think are the biggest dating mistakes?

DiQld (an independent BBW escort):

Talking about your past as tho it is your present.

Angela St. Lawrence (a phone sex operator specializing in erotic fetish and sensual debauchery):

Overthinking. Overdressing. Over-compensating.

Kaylee Pond (a cam girl specializing in nerdy, geeky, cosplay fun):

Being fake and acting like someone that you’re not or lying to make yourself look cool. Ugh! That’ll just backfire so hard and really isn’t good for anyone.

Claire Keeler (an independent sex worker and award winning photographer, working on a photographic essay called Whoretography):

Not being yourself. Dressing in a way that does not feel like you. Trying to hard to impress. Coming across as too eager … slagging off an ex, its a deal breaker as is being married. You deserve a man who is full time not looking to fill a void in his shitty marriage, that’s why they pay me lol

Addy Finch (an independent sex worker specializing in transgender/transsexual companionship):

Being late, dirty, and inattentive. Take your date as seriously as an interview because it is exactly that.

“Alice” (a sex worker with 17 years experience in adult erotic services and sex worker activism):

People trying to figure out what the other person wants, trying to please a stranger, more than trying to figure out their own selves and how they’re doing with what’s happening in front of them.

Holly (a full service independent escort and, sometimes, a brothel worker):

People not being themselves. Saying things they think the other person wants to hear or portraying themselves in a way that isn’t really them. Be yourself. If they don’t like your real self that’s ok, they aren’t the one for you.

A Slip Of A Girl (a phone companion specializing in sissies, crossdressing, and other lingerie fetish work):

Not being yourself. That, after all, is what this is all about!

Secondhand Rose (a former escort, presently offering custom erotica and virtual companionship via text and telephone):

Not participating or making an effort at conversation is probably the most common sin. But being handsy, going for an unwanted kiss, or other aggressive sexual acts made after being rebuffed are the largest sins.

Once mistakes are made, can a person recover from them? If so, how?

Angela:

I think it’s very rare. Bad impressions aren’t easily erased. But humor can excuse a lot. Be willing to laugh at your own silliness and give your date room to do the same.

“Alice”:

Of course, but it often takes a little bit of courage to just be vulnerable and own your mistakes. I tell my dates when I’ve made errors in scheduling, or forgotten where I was supposed go, or whatever. I don’t lie unnecessarily and I don’t make excuses. Most mistakes I make are very embarrassing because I’m so controlling and “put together” most of the time, and it’s actually really good for me to have to take myself a little less seriously. So I just have to own them. When I do that, I’ve had almost always positive results. People like real people, even when they want a fantasy date! It’s very confusing!

Goddess Audrey Rae (a Femdom and fetish clip girl, camgirl, and occasional phone sex operator):

It really depends on how bad the mistake is. Honestly if your date is freaked out because you like spilled a glass of water or something, they probably aren’t the person you want to be going out with anyways.

Di:

Acknowledge the mistake, and move on.

Holly:

Everyone makes mistakes. It just depends on the size of the mistake and if they learn from it and how they fix the mistake.

Addy:

You can only make a first impression once, but with work you can overcome them, certainly. Apologize for whatever mistake, focus on not repeating it, and work wherever possible to do the opposite in the immediate future (ex: If you were late, be certain to show up early in the future).

Claire:

No, I don’t think so as you never get a second chance to make a good first impression. I am somewhat brutal about this when screening my clients and use the motto ‘if there is doubt, there is no doubt’ trust you gut, if something is off it probably is.

Rose:

Humor can ease if not erase most mistakes. However, it’s important to really consider the mistakes your date may make too. Continuing aggressive sexual acts past a single refusal are not “mistakes” and they should not be forgiven. This is a sign to leave — immediately & safely.

Yes, there’s still more dating advice from sex workers to come!

Jane Fonda On Klute

jane fonda 2011 klute interviewJane Fonda on Klute (from an interview in 2011). Jane, never one to shy away from controversy and opinion, makes some profound statements.

It is important to remember two things while reading this:

One, this is clearly interview soundbites; so do not mistake brevity for all that can or should be said about these issues.

Two, this is one woman speaking on her experiences; it should not be read that all sex workers have suffered abuse, nor that all abuse survivors suffer from intimacy issues.

“Klute totally changed my life. In 1971, I had just done Barbarella and I didn’t understand feminism.

“It’s a perfect movie, everything about it, Gordon Willis’s cinematography, I’m really proud of it.”

Fonda spent time hanging out with high-end hookers to prepare to play Bree Daniels. “I watched them do coke, and watched when they hooked up with their johns. Not once did any john even wink at me. I went to Pakula and said, “Hire Faye Dunaway~!”

“The scenes with the psychiatrist, we put them at the end of the three months. They were all improvised. [The role was originally cast as a male psychiatrist], but Bree would never reveal herself to a man.”

“I came to realize I’m very like her — Bree Daniel.

“There’s an incapacity for intimacy. There’s an inability to show up emotionally.

“The ability to attach has been broken. I have always had that problem. It’s been a problem for me; I used it with the character.

“There can have been sexual abuse. My mother was sexually abused. Daughters inherit that.

Catching Up With Kola Boof

kola boof photoIt’s been nearly 10 years since we published the Author, Author Sex Kitten Edition ~ and that was when we last spoke with Kola Boof.

Kola is an Egyptian-Sudanese-American novelist, television writer, and soccer mom. She’s the author of 10 books published in 8 countries. Her last novel was the highly acclaimed The Sexy Part of the Bible published by Akashic Books. Her autobiography, Diary of a Lost Girl, continues to be a bestseller a decade after its initial publication.

Because Kola is so controversial, I wrote this as the introduction to the second part of our 2005 interview, The Message & The Messenger:

Perhaps I am too Utopian *wink* but I do believe that when we gain insight & understanding, we can put our hearts & ethics into action. I respect the hell out of Kola Boof. Admire her greatly. Even when her words sting. For behind them, truth rings. I’d like to think there are others out there who can be taught daily, and not just from some ‘word a day’ calendar.

My views on education and understanding have not changed; nor has Kola. If anything has changed, it’s just that my admiration grows. Here is part one of catching up with the one and only Kola Boof.

UNDEFEATED A North African Writer's Support for IsraelKola, recently you’ve been experiencing some attacks on Twitter (and probably elsewhere). Can you describe the situation?

This is a volatile time because of the war between Israel and Palestine. Particularly in the Black community, the support is overwhelmingly and passionately for the Palestinians. So I am seen as a traitor right now for standing with Israel. Americans do not care about my history as a North African born Sunni Muslim Black female, half-Arab, and all that it means historically, the Arab enslavement of my people…and to me personally, the horrific abuse I experienced as a Muslim girl child. American liberals and especially Black Americans simply see me as a traitor being hateful to the poor long-suffering Palestinians. So I am being horribly attacked and slandered on Twitter for not joining the Western liberal and Black American narratives.

It hurts a lot because I am adopted and raised by Black Americans. I want so much to please them and be accepted by them. So this is one of the most difficult times I have ever had as an American citizen. But I must stand against Arab Islamic governments for my dead birth parents and for my own integrity. My views on Islam would make Ayaan Hirsi Ali look like a Mullah. I’ve lived in Israel twice and have nothing but praise for Israel. I count Benjamin Netanyahu as a personal friend even though there’s little we agree on politically–he’s a friend. American liberals just can’t understand that because my politics up until now have been leftist liberal.

You’re no stranger to attacks. How much of this do you think has to do with the message ~ and how much does this have to do with your status as the messenger, i.e. race and gender?

That’s a great question. It has everything to do with my gender. For women to speak as loud, clear and assertively as I do is seen as unnerving even to those who support me. If I were a man, I’d be called Norman Mailer or Gore Vidal or Amiri Baraka. But as a female, I am literally swept under the carpet and often lied on. People will believe anything that’s said against a woman. The stories about me are outrageous. People in the press choose to believe it because they want to silence this Black woman supporter of Israel.

What do you think the public perception of you is?

The public…the people in the streets and bookstores, generally like me. To them I am entertaining and never boring, which Capitalists forget is the most important thing to laymen. But they’ve also been fed so many lies and conflicting stories about my personal story that they honestly don’t know what to make of me. I literally get that everywhere I go. I am very popular with the masses but greatly despised and feared by the establishment and by the industry people.

Is there any truth in the perception?

There is no truth in the smear campaigns that people like David Hoile and the Sudanese government and their Oil interests in the West have invented and spread about me. But when a Black woman is defiant and subversive, even in the West, these negative perceptions persist. I speak against Colorism and Black self-hatred, which bothers Black men and White people. I speak against radical Islam and Arab atrocities against Africans, so those Arab interests finance smear campaigns against me. The latest rumor is that I was born in Nebraska, not North Africa. They claim I am a fraud and a liar when in fact no one is more truthful than I am.

Kola Boof lakeshore Kola Boof Miss Kola BoofWhat would you like people to really know & understand about you?

I want people to know that I am the new Norman Mailer. Just with PMS. Haha!

No. I want people to know that although my words look masculine and aggressive in print, I am very soft-spoken and calm. I am not angry. People who meet me in person are always shocked at how gentle I am. I want people to know that I’m a happy wife and mother. I love my family and I have a wonderful sense of humor. I spend ninety-percent of my day laughing. I love any and all races of people. Any type of person, other than a child molester, is welcome in my home. I truly love animals, I literally have a farm. But with all that said, I am an artist and a critical thinker. My gender matters not. I have very strong opinions and passions. I am on earth to share that and I should not be silenced just because I’m a bit exotic and different from the conventional American.

As a mother, does public perception of you touch or impact your children?

My boys are still very young and not truly aware of ‘Kola Boof.’ I am Naima Bint Harith to them. I am Jason’s wife. I was their father’s wife. I teach them to ride horses, plant gardens, cook and shoot guns. They have been raised isolated from American mores and folkways as much as I could. But during the time we were under Federal Protection, they definitely suffered because of my past scandals and because of my politics. Their lives have been in danger because of me.

What lessons have you learned from all of this that you share with your children?

I don’t feel that one can truly live unless one is ready to die for the things he believes in. I am not into being liked. I am the living breathing embodiment of Alice Walker’s poem, ‘Be Nobody’s Darling/Be an Outcast.’ When I read that poem as a teenager and loved it so much I had no idea that I would in fact become that. So that is what I want my sons to be.

Our conversation with Kola continues on Wednesday. Meanwhile, you read her books, including UNDEFEATED: A North African Writer’s Support for Israel.

Irv O. Neil On The Glory Days Of Porn (Interview Part Two)

Continuing my talk with author Irv O. Neil ~ this time, we travel back in time…

Tell us one story about working in NYC back in the Golden Era Of Smut!

I enjoyed being at photo shoots, having a hand in the direction and styling of a pictorial. When I worked for Charles Goodman starting in 1983 — he was the publisher of Swank, Stag, Porn Stars, X-Rated Cinema, D-Cup, Cheeks, Leg Action, Girls Over 40, and many other magazines — I got lots of opportunities to do this.

IrvONeil-NoirMode -1980sIn the mid-80s a model named Taija Rae came onto the scene, and one of her first pictorials was for my magazine For Adults Only. We shot it in the bathroom of a very nice apartment in Soho, and Taija was just gorgeous. She had a sweet personality, a girl next door face, and a really sexy body. She also had one of the best voices in the business, a kind of soft yet firm voice that was enchanting.

Anyhow, as the photographer did the shoot, I was almost in a daze from my instant infatuation with Taija. It was one of the first shoots I supervised, so the whole experience was new and overwhelming to me anyway. After the shoot I took a cab uptown with Taija to drop her off at Penn Station, and it was just a pleasure being in the taxi with her for that little while. I never had any relationship with Taija Rae other than a professional one, but I always thought she was one of the best and proud that she made a great appearance in my magazine.

So, I always enjoyed meeting the stars. Back in the days before anyone and his uncle could make a video and put it up online, the actresses (as well as the actors) still had the aura and charisma of movie stars. Like Vanessa Del Rio — larger than life. There is a part of me that always remains a fanboy, so I enjoyed meeting the ladies either in the office or even better, going to lunch or dinner with them.

One time I took the beautiful 80s star Rachel Ashley to a Chinese restaurant I used to frequent in Times Square–I interviewed her over a meal–and she was so drop-dead gorgeous that forever after the waiters at the place treated me with the awe you might give to somebody who’d come in there with Sophia Loren.

So there definitely is an up side to writing smut. ;) What other perks have their been?

Other than free magazines, I got the the pleasure of a fun, interesting job that never got boring, gave me an outlet for creativity, and introduced me to good people, some of whom continue to be my friends.

irv-cool-vintage-girlie-magI smile when you say “fanboy” ~ it’s such a sweet term, and I picture a shy you, rather red-faced, eyes averted, maybe even awkwardly twisting your toe in the sand… Is that how you felt when you working with all these stars and starlets?

No, not all the time… Just with the ones who pressed my personal buttons.

In some ways I am kind of a shy person, particularly around women I find very attractive. But having the attitude of a fanboy–a fan–was important because it always kept me connected to the readers. I was one of the readers myself, and this identification made me good at the work.

The interview with Irv continues on Monday! Meanwhile, download & read one of his ebooks and follow him on Twitter .

Forget 50 Shades, Read About 40 Years ~ In Porn: The Irv O. Neil Interview

Irv O. Neil is a New York-based writer and editor who has been in the porn business since 1974. Yes, that’s him as a mad doctor with a foot fetish in a 1998 Leg Action pictorial with Maya Moore (photos by Warren Tang).

irv in kinky-science-leg-action-magazine

Working for erotic publications, websites, and movies, Irv’s pretty much written everything you can write ~ from fiction stories, fact articles, interviews, and X-rated feature films, to captions for photos, magazine coverlines ~ you name it. I first met Irv via his interview series at Silent Porn Star; since then, I’ve read and reviewed his D/s erotica. Ever since I’ve “met” Irv, I’ve been dying to dish with him ~ and finally the stars aligned!

Irv With Cuppa-JoeCongrats on being a Jack Of All Trades to all sorts of jack-off materials, Irv! In your interview over at Silent Porn Star, you’ve sounded as if at times you’ve been embarrassed by working in smut… Can you explain a bit more about that process of becoming liberated and proud of what you do?

Ironically, for someone who has always craved approval in his life, I picked a trade that guaranteed I would encounter the exact opposite for many years, especially from women under the influence of the anti-porn feminism of the 80s. But after I had a measure of success as a magazine editor; as a screenwriter for many better quality X-rated films and even one R-rated cable erotic thriller; as a prolific short story writer; and as an interviewer of everybody from porn stars to strippers to dominatrixes to directors and pioneer audio erotica producers, I felt I was accepted and respected in my own niche of the entertainment world. And maybe as I got older, I just didn’t worry as much about the opinions of “civilians” (what I call people outside the adult business).

As a professional writer, you’ve obviously had to tackle a lot of subjects, kinks, genres, etc., write with different tones (fiction vs. reporting and the like). Are some more difficult than others? Any tricks for how you tackle such things?

I always have more stress writing articles because I’m so compulsive about facts and getting things right and organized properly. I’ve written many articles but I’m not a natural-born journalist. I prefer fiction, where you can make up stories. I am a natural-born fantasizer, you might say! But no matter what the form, I always try to engage the reader by answering all the questions that a story or an article’s premise brings into the reader’s mind. Similarly, when doing interviews, I always tried to follow up any interesting leads that came up in the course of asking questions, as you are doing here.

As far as subjects or kinks in erotica, I’m pretty open, and can write about anything that I find interesting psychologically, sexually, or personally arousing, but I never write about things that turn me off, like incest stories or stories of sexual violence. Sometimes the dommes in my stories push around their slaves and get a little aggressive, but never excessively.

erotica author irv o neil readingThere’s been a lot of discussion, speculation, and even accusations about the importance of an author’s gender in erotica… Does the author’s gender matter? Did it ever matter?

The only thing that matters, to me, is the strength of the writing. Does the writing evoke a situation in an interesting and stimulating way? Does the writing understand the situation, or the fetish, or the particular passion it’s trying to describe? It’s hard to tell sometimes who wrote a story, a man or a woman. As for myself, I’ve written stories both from the points of view of men and women, as well as in the third person “authorial” voice looking at everybody in an omniscient way.

That’s all well and good, sort of a utopian how-it-should be, but… In terms of selling yourself as an author, there’s long been a tradition of men having the upper hand in publishing as a general rule (or a Good Old Boys rule, anyway), including book covers. And recently, there’s been all sorts of discussion, studies and data about gender in publishing. Including talk on the flip side, about how gender perceptions have led to male erotica authors taking female pen names in order to get gigs. Have you ever experienced any of this? And, as your first comment indicates, do you think that the fact that you haven’t has something to do with the fact that you were lucky enough to be a man who got enough experience under his belt, has a solid resume, that such things no longer matter?

Well, I can’t speak about mainstream publishing, but I’ve known a good number of women in the porn magazine business, writers, editors, photographers. They all seemed to have plenty of work back in the day. Maybe porn was less discriminatory against literary women, I don’t know. Would I pretend to be a woman nowadays to get work writing erotica? No, I wouldn’t want to get into that kind of subterfuge…although if somebody offered me money to write under the guise of, say, Miss Phoebe Littleclit, who knows?

But I can and do sometimes write stories under female pseudonyms, like sexy college girl stories, because the stories are supposed to be from a feminine point of view, but the editors (both male and female) know I’m writing it. Actually, I’m quite good at writing from the viewpoint of eighteen year old girls, and those are some of the best stories I write nowadays. They have a very sexy, light touch. Unfortunately I can’t tell you where they are published or the names they’re written under, because they’re supposed to be written by lascivious young lasses…such as Phoebe Littleclit. Which is not a name I actually use! ;)

learning to be cruel coverHow often do you write/publish your own ebooks?

There’s no regular schedule. Initially I thought I’d publish one a month, but it just didn’t work out that way due to my writing commitments for websites. I write for six websites weekly, at ddfnetwork.com as well for a few other clients. Meanwhile, I have ten femdom ebooks up at Amazon — hopefully soon on the Smashwords self-publishing platform as well — and as I mentioned earlier, I just put up the non-porn novel, Fate Of A Stripper, which closely examines the relationship between a dancer and her customer and which I consider some of my best writing ever.

I’ve downloaded Fate Of A Stripper, but have not had time to read it. (Review yet to come!)

What do you think you’ve learned the most about yourself from all your years of working in porn?

That in my mind I’m a total kinkster, open to and understanding of almost everything sexual and legal between consenting adults; but in real life I am a bit reserved and wary and cautious. It’s the paradox that fuels my fiction writing, in fact. Feeling slutty but also buttoned-up.

Smut Erotia Author Irv O Neil FedoraI also learned from editing magazines that I am a good manager: planning issues, overseeing budgets, writers, photographers, and models; meeting deadlines and delivering the goods. I edited adult magazines for 28 years. I take great pride in being professional.

And finally, as a writer, I learned that I could effectively express myself through a genre that was and still continues to be disdained by the average person. For all the media hype around things like 50 Shades of Gray, the “civilians” don’t consider porn a very important or respectable genre to which to devote one’s work life. And people only really respected 50 Shades because it made so much goddamn money. I think average citizens are in awe of porn folk who make the money usually doled out to celebrities who don’t do sexual things for a living.

Part two of my interview with the charming Irv O. Neil will be posted on Friday night. Until then, you can keep up with all things Irv at his blog and on Twitter @irvoneil.