A Valentine For Male Chastity

“All keyed up to ask you to be my valentine!”

Suitable to send your femdom or other keyholder; as well as for kinksters into BDSM.

Vintage valentine for sale here; via TrailerTrashGrl.

Fetish Art You Can Wear ~ If You Dare!

What’s better than sexy fetish art? Why wearable fetish art, of course! It’s like fun fetish fashions you can actually wear ~ and move in! Here’s some fantastically fun kinky wearable art from fetish & kink illustrator Siobhan. You can find these in her shop: TheThingsIDraw.

kneel bitch tee

femme fatale tank art by thethingsidraw

My favorite is the “Roses are red, Violets are blue. And soon the bruises on your butt will be too!” pencil skirt. Yes, the ass is on the back of the skirt too!

bdsm pencil skirt

kinky black pencil skirt

Saucy Saturday: More Puppet Madness With Veronica Chaos

This week, camgirl Veronica Chaos ~ the utterly mad maker of freaky fun puppet fetish films we fell in love with here ~ launched her brand new website. Here’s her latest video clip from Harry Puppet and the Red Head Slut. (Yes, she’s still at MFC too.)

Porn In The UK

bbfc_banned_porn_letterYou’ve probably heard about the new acts of censorship that went into effect Tuesday (December 1, 2014) in the UK. Part of the pornocalypse, these latest porn regulations were made via an amendment to the 2003 Communications Act. If you want the facts, get them from Myles Jackman. Jackman is a lawyer in the UK ~ the only solicitor in the country specializing in sexual liberties and obscenity law ~ and he’s written a factual, and scathing, review of the regulations here. (You can follow him on Twitter @ObscenityLawyer.)

While this new legislation is squarely aimed at UK producers of adult films (meaning consumers will not be prosecuted for viewing it), folks ought to be aware of just how this will affect them.

Those of us in the US who have long claimed that the best fetish stuff came from the UK (We’d always say, “It may be banned in Boston, but we can get it in Britain!”) surely know that pinching the UK porn producers will put an end to the stuff we love. But it’s worse than that.

Far worse.

It’s not just that the kinky fetish BDSM stuff’s been banned, but virtually anything to do with female power and pleasure as well. Even female orgasm. For while male orgasms are allowed ~ to both be seen and swallowed, female ejaculation, i.e. squirting, is not to be “consumed or put onto a body”. A guy can give a girl a good face-fucking; but femdom face-sitting is relatively banned as it can only be done “without breathing restriction” i.e. leaving airways open at all times. (Having participated in both, I can tell you which is more likely to restrict breathing and be dangerous ~ and it ain’t the face sitting.) And the rules about fisting certainly make it clear that they don’t understand what a fist is: you can’t insert all five fingers past the last knuckle. …Oh well, that only makes me squirt anyway ~ and that would land onto a body somehow.

The result, as you can clearly see, is a very sexist set of regulations.

Once again, Erika Lust says it best:

With this legislation, the UK is in danger of finding itself back in an age where porn is simply the boring, unrealistic, male fantasy of bimbos eagerly pleasing men as if it is their duty, where women are submissive and lack ownership of their sexuality. Women in the industry will now fear the loss of their livelihoods as well as their sexual independence.

In the industry, the thought is that many of these “rules” make no sense. How could female ejaculation possibly be any more “dangerous” than male ejaculation? This is utterly demeaning.

We need to rethink what is offensive or dangerous and what is, in fact, normal human nature, and remember that it’s more important to educate than regulate.

That point about education is key. Didn’t we learn anything from prohibition attempts? Don’t we have common sense any more? Sephy Hallow provides wise advise:

[W]e need to open up the debate, and be honest with ourselves. When I say it’s up to the grown ups to offer guidance to young people about sex and the web, I don’t just mean parents and teachers: I mean it’s up to all of us to shape the debate, decide how best we can balance the need to protect children and deny censorship, and provide that safe platform for children without limiting regular access to content for adult consumers. After all, if we can’t talk to other adults in an honest manner about our sexuality and its online expression, what chance have we got in educating young people about sex and the internet?

This is all about judgement, prejudice, shame, control, and freedom. (Isn’t censorship always?)

(Video by @RubyLunaMay of Alchemy-Eros.)

Our friends at Cliterati have also provided a nifty 10 point round-up of why the new regulations must end. That includes more about the kink and LGBTQ communities, so you probably want to read that too.

And then you can sign the petition to repeal the legislation if you’d like. There you’ll see this censorship in an economic light (and for the foolish factors).

Related: A selection of irrational porn laws from around the world & Mad magazine’s parody of Born In The USA, Porn In The USA.

Image via The Poke.

Talking Female Dominants & Male Submissives With Author Irv O. Neil

Continuing my talk with Irv O. Neil (part one, part two), we now get to main course of the erotica feasts the author dishes up…

erotica author irv o neil maskMost of your stories feature dominant females ~ and you’re not shy about expressing those fantasies yourself. The terms “Dominant” and “submissive” are rather subjective… Care to provide the types of femdomme that you are talking about?

My femdom stories — all my sex stories for that matter — are erotic adventure stories. Usually, it’s about a guy who finds himself in a wonderfully sexual situation, and we see what happens, how it plays out, and sometimes even what he learns about himself in the process of living out a situation and getting off. My story The Cuckold and the Cleavage is of this latter type that mixes sex and self-understanding.

I’ve also focused on women protagonists, but not nearly as often. However, my non-porn novel Fate of a Stripper goes back and forth between the stripper and her customer, giving them about equal weight in the point-of-view.

the cruel touch-vintage paperbackIn my femdom stories, the men are erotically submissive, meaning they want to be overpowered emotionally, sexually, and sometimes physically by women, given orders by women: sometimes just to serve them, other times to be humiliated or punished too. They want to be the bottoms in the relationship, and do as the women say. But in many of my stories the men are also ambivalent about it, and struggle to accept this part of their nature, or at least understand it. That reflects my own ambivalence. It is full of potentially dramatic conflict for stories, and endlessly interesting to write and think about.

The kind of dominant female I find attractive in real life is a basically kind-hearted woman who likes to role-play being in control over a man, but can treat him as an equal outside the scenes. But in my stories I explore the spectrum of dominant females.

In Learning to be Cruel Parts 1 and 2, the domme really is cruel and destructive and the man takes it; in Toes Are For Sucking, it is something of a game to the woman and the man, which keeps the encounter in the realm of temporary fun with no strings attached and no real destruction wreaked; in She Made Me a Cuckold on Black Friday, the domme is a self-absorbed brat princess who financially drains and sexually humiliates her helpless slave; in Mommy’s Little Dunce the domme is a self-appointed “esoteric therapist” who plays along in a warm but firmly maternal way with the sub’s desire for punishment; in Dominant Chinese Twins Enslave Whiny Man, the twins are almost surreal cartoons of merciless Asian girls, one a stripper, the other a scientist; in Naked Before Her, the domme is a playful but controlling magazine model, probably closest to the type that I personally like; and in The Dominatrix Who Couldn’t Die, she is a supernatural being who reveals a man’s hidden nature to himself at a terrible cost. My ebook anthology Spell of Dominance has five stories, and two from the female dommes’ points-of-view, one as a beginner to D/s, and the other as an experienced “sugarbaby/dominatrix.”

Irv Slave Or FanI’m so glad you mentioned the self-understanding, your own ambivalence, the struggle… Not just in the specific sense of BDSM submission, but in the overall submission to eroticism itself. When I read your book, I was impressed by (and I quote myself) the sense of psychological tension you created. I’ve long been fond of this sort of tasty tease. It’s not merely the notion of the classic Sam & Diane “Will they or won’t they” tension, but tugging at an individual’s struggle, the sense of giving in to lust itself is powerful. You call this “dramatic conflict”, yes? And it’s a staple for a good story, erotic or not. After all these years of writing smut, works that typically end in the same way, how do you continue to find or create such conflict?

Every story potentially presents a different conflict if the characters have enough individuality. Or, if they’re similar types from story to story, they can still say different things and react in different ways. I’m entertained listening to what my characters say. Sometimes they are quite witty or just amusing. I love to write dialogue and see what’s on their minds. Also, there are just so many aspects of human feelings that can be explored through the sexual angle. Sex brings out the spectrum of emotions — and emotions fuel the eroticism to me.

As a writer or even as a person, I’ve never been interested in just naked bodies, but the hearts and minds inside them.

I firmly believe that shows in your writing, Irv. It’s why I’m such a fan.

If you’ve become a fan of Irv O. Neil’s too, you can follow him on Twitter and read his blog, Erotica Is My Trade. The interview continues on Thursday too!

Colouring Books for Adults

I’m not sure why adults need colouring books. Unless, of course, you have a Domme who thinks it’s funny to send a man into the store to buy crayons. She might even send him in with all coins so he would have to count out his money and hope he had enough with the tax added on. Just like a little boy with his allowance – don’t spend it all in one place.

Which colouring book would a nice Domme get for her boy… boobies

colour my boobs

or pussies…

coloring vaginas

 

So hard to choose… Not really. I can’t take either one seriously. Plus, I’d have more fun if he were colouring the sex positions colouring book. Which would he pick to colour first?

sex positions colouring

Forget 50 Shades, Read About 40 Years ~ In Porn: The Irv O. Neil Interview

Irv O. Neil is a New York-based writer and editor who has been in the porn business since 1974. Yes, that’s him as a mad doctor with a foot fetish in a 1998 Leg Action pictorial with Maya Moore (photos by Warren Tang).

irv in kinky-science-leg-action-magazine

Working for erotic publications, websites, and movies, Irv’s pretty much written everything you can write ~ from fiction stories, fact articles, interviews, and X-rated feature films, to captions for photos, magazine coverlines ~ you name it. I first met Irv via his interview series at Silent Porn Star; since then, I’ve read and reviewed his D/s erotica. Ever since I’ve “met” Irv, I’ve been dying to dish with him ~ and finally the stars aligned!

Irv With Cuppa-JoeCongrats on being a Jack Of All Trades to all sorts of jack-off materials, Irv! In your interview over at Silent Porn Star, you’ve sounded as if at times you’ve been embarrassed by working in smut… Can you explain a bit more about that process of becoming liberated and proud of what you do?

Ironically, for someone who has always craved approval in his life, I picked a trade that guaranteed I would encounter the exact opposite for many years, especially from women under the influence of the anti-porn feminism of the 80s. But after I had a measure of success as a magazine editor; as a screenwriter for many better quality X-rated films and even one R-rated cable erotic thriller; as a prolific short story writer; and as an interviewer of everybody from porn stars to strippers to dominatrixes to directors and pioneer audio erotica producers, I felt I was accepted and respected in my own niche of the entertainment world. And maybe as I got older, I just didn’t worry as much about the opinions of “civilians” (what I call people outside the adult business).

As a professional writer, you’ve obviously had to tackle a lot of subjects, kinks, genres, etc., write with different tones (fiction vs. reporting and the like). Are some more difficult than others? Any tricks for how you tackle such things?

I always have more stress writing articles because I’m so compulsive about facts and getting things right and organized properly. I’ve written many articles but I’m not a natural-born journalist. I prefer fiction, where you can make up stories. I am a natural-born fantasizer, you might say! But no matter what the form, I always try to engage the reader by answering all the questions that a story or an article’s premise brings into the reader’s mind. Similarly, when doing interviews, I always tried to follow up any interesting leads that came up in the course of asking questions, as you are doing here.

As far as subjects or kinks in erotica, I’m pretty open, and can write about anything that I find interesting psychologically, sexually, or personally arousing, but I never write about things that turn me off, like incest stories or stories of sexual violence. Sometimes the dommes in my stories push around their slaves and get a little aggressive, but never excessively.

erotica author irv o neil readingThere’s been a lot of discussion, speculation, and even accusations about the importance of an author’s gender in erotica… Does the author’s gender matter? Did it ever matter?

The only thing that matters, to me, is the strength of the writing. Does the writing evoke a situation in an interesting and stimulating way? Does the writing understand the situation, or the fetish, or the particular passion it’s trying to describe? It’s hard to tell sometimes who wrote a story, a man or a woman. As for myself, I’ve written stories both from the points of view of men and women, as well as in the third person “authorial” voice looking at everybody in an omniscient way.

That’s all well and good, sort of a utopian how-it-should be, but… In terms of selling yourself as an author, there’s long been a tradition of men having the upper hand in publishing as a general rule (or a Good Old Boys rule, anyway), including book covers. And recently, there’s been all sorts of discussion, studies and data about gender in publishing. Including talk on the flip side, about how gender perceptions have led to male erotica authors taking female pen names in order to get gigs. Have you ever experienced any of this? And, as your first comment indicates, do you think that the fact that you haven’t has something to do with the fact that you were lucky enough to be a man who got enough experience under his belt, has a solid resume, that such things no longer matter?

Well, I can’t speak about mainstream publishing, but I’ve known a good number of women in the porn magazine business, writers, editors, photographers. They all seemed to have plenty of work back in the day. Maybe porn was less discriminatory against literary women, I don’t know. Would I pretend to be a woman nowadays to get work writing erotica? No, I wouldn’t want to get into that kind of subterfuge…although if somebody offered me money to write under the guise of, say, Miss Phoebe Littleclit, who knows?

But I can and do sometimes write stories under female pseudonyms, like sexy college girl stories, because the stories are supposed to be from a feminine point of view, but the editors (both male and female) know I’m writing it. Actually, I’m quite good at writing from the viewpoint of eighteen year old girls, and those are some of the best stories I write nowadays. They have a very sexy, light touch. Unfortunately I can’t tell you where they are published or the names they’re written under, because they’re supposed to be written by lascivious young lasses…such as Phoebe Littleclit. Which is not a name I actually use! ;)

learning to be cruel coverHow often do you write/publish your own ebooks?

There’s no regular schedule. Initially I thought I’d publish one a month, but it just didn’t work out that way due to my writing commitments for websites. I write for six websites weekly, at ddfnetwork.com as well for a few other clients. Meanwhile, I have ten femdom ebooks up at Amazon — hopefully soon on the Smashwords self-publishing platform as well — and as I mentioned earlier, I just put up the non-porn novel, Fate Of A Stripper, which closely examines the relationship between a dancer and her customer and which I consider some of my best writing ever.

I’ve downloaded Fate Of A Stripper, but have not had time to read it. (Review yet to come!)

What do you think you’ve learned the most about yourself from all your years of working in porn?

That in my mind I’m a total kinkster, open to and understanding of almost everything sexual and legal between consenting adults; but in real life I am a bit reserved and wary and cautious. It’s the paradox that fuels my fiction writing, in fact. Feeling slutty but also buttoned-up.

Smut Erotia Author Irv O Neil FedoraI also learned from editing magazines that I am a good manager: planning issues, overseeing budgets, writers, photographers, and models; meeting deadlines and delivering the goods. I edited adult magazines for 28 years. I take great pride in being professional.

And finally, as a writer, I learned that I could effectively express myself through a genre that was and still continues to be disdained by the average person. For all the media hype around things like 50 Shades of Gray, the “civilians” don’t consider porn a very important or respectable genre to which to devote one’s work life. And people only really respected 50 Shades because it made so much goddamn money. I think average citizens are in awe of porn folk who make the money usually doled out to celebrities who don’t do sexual things for a living.

Part two of my interview with the charming Irv O. Neil will be posted on Friday night. Until then, you can keep up with all things Irv at his blog and on Twitter @irvoneil.

Hot Flash Fiction Friday: Dear Disobediant Little Slut

fingerpointDear Disobediant Little Slut,

Congratulations on hacking into my email account. Yes, I have left this note for you and will expect you to read it, do the task I have set as your punishment and then write me a lengthy apology. Do not write the apology first. I want far more than insincere groveling – I can get that from any wanker online.

Your punishment will be to read and answer all of the emails in this account. This is not my personal email account so you won’t find anything from the real people in my life, like my friends and family. All of these emails come from little self serving perverts who expect me to serve them like the women in all the porn they wank off to.

Included in these emails are many requests for online sex. You will perform this for all of those who have asked. Contact them for the details of where and when. Dress yourself up for the wankers who want to see photos. Dress well, don’t try to cheat and hope they won’t want you. Be their slut, and do it well. Do not come yourself but make sure they do.

I will login to this account and check up on your progress. Make sure you get replies for a job well done from each wanker, add photos and the online text from your chats too. Each must be unique, no copy and pasting!

When you have finished this task you may write me an essay about how it feels to read, reply and serve selfish pricks like these. If I believe you actually understand I will reply. If not, you can start all over again until you can prove yourself. Or, you can go back to being one of the needy pricks and never bother me again.

Sincerely,

Me

The Sex Swing

She liked the idea of being held, suspended, spread open and ready for licking and fucking…

That’s how Katie felt about her sex swing.

sex swing fuck Sex swings straddle the line between vanilla sex and bondage…

You’re not tied down ~ but there’s just enough of an awkwardness to getting out of one that will keep you from abandoning the fun too quickly. And the feeling of being open, exposed… Yummy.

It’s a bit of kink. Not too much, not too little. (For even more experienced kink-seekers can incorporate some bondage or use the gift of commands to make a mate “sit and stay”.)

So go ahead and try a sex swing. Like Goldilocks said, you might find it “just right.”

What’s The Deal With Phone Sex? Part Two

phone sex is off the hookIn part one of this series, we discussed the fact that professional ~ as in “paid for” ~ phone sex is alive and well, with the income and investments to prove it. Now it’s time to talk about why paying for phone sex is so popular.

The best place to get those answers is right from the callers themselves. However, the men who pay for phone sex are a much quieter lot than you might think. Sure, they may moan and even scream on the telephone; but unlike the johns and punters who discuss the hobby and review the services of escorts, phone sex clients are less likely to talk in public, including on websites and forums, about their passionate encounters. As Lynn of Phone Sex Secrets says, there just isn’t the same need for sharing information with phone sex providers as there are in real-world flesh meetings. And phone sex clients are different sorts of cats than other seekers of sex work services.

Phone sex, by nature, is a very private affair and I do believe that is part of the silence about it. However, I was able to convince three fine regular users of professional phone sex services to share their thoughts on why they pay for phone sex. The gentlemen callers are Gary, Rex, and Roue Ataraxia (husband of Silent Porn Star); and here are their stories. (Along with links to some of their favorite phone sex operators!)

OK, my brave phone sex gents, let’s talk. Why do you pay for phone sex?

Rex: Is there a free option?! Seriously, though, it’s not the same.

Roue: It’s really not the same. Many women just don’t have the stuff it takes. Not to be unkind or to speak for women everywhere or anything, but that’s been my experience.

I think the real reason we’re going with a pro is for her experience and abilities — and the fact that we are seeking our own orgasm. Yes, it’s cool to think there’s mutual masturbation going on, but I think that’s part of the fantasy or a delusion we tell ourselves, if we are being honest. Because the best phone sex is about our fantasies, our masturbation. I’m not saying that she or her orgasm don’t matter. I’m just saying that I’m paying to get myself off, it’s about my trip. Not to sound like a selfish pig or anything, but it’s my dime. By paying for it, I ensure that our talk is focused on what I desire. There’s no conflict of interest, however unintentional it might be when you, uh, get tugged in different directions collaborating for free.

Rex: And it’s about my time. I don’t have to feel bad about a 3 a.m. call fucking-up her schedule. Or three calls in a day being too intrusive in her life. It’s her work and either the PSO is available or willing to schedule for that time I want, or she’s not; no apologies, explanations, or whining needed on either side. I also don’t have to feel guilty if I don’t contact her for weeks — or ever again. That’s the convenience of a paid service that really doesn’t exist elsewhere.

Gary: For me, paying for phone sex also means I’m not going to suffer any entanglements. I’m not leading anyone on; she’s not leading me on. She provides a willing service; I willingly pay for it. We both hang up feeling pretty good about the transaction knowing that it’s just a transaction.

I don’t want to sound like one of those misogynistic assholes who “uses” a woman because I absolutely do not feel that way about women in general or phone sex operators in specific. I’ve every indication they enjoy what they do — at least enough to keep taking my calls. (And they don’t have to take my calls, accept my requested appointments, or deal with my fantasy requests unless they want to. They can say no or even just hang-up.) I don’t think paying for such a service is any different than any other profession. I mean, we don’t consider it “using” a doctor for their medical experience or “using” a cashier at the store when we check-out. And I just hate it when I read that sort of thing saying we “use women” by calling phone sex lines.

angela st lawrence psoSo why phone sex? Why not just masturbate to pics, watch porn, or seek other sex services?

Gary: Phone sex is the safest and yet the most personal way to connect with a person to have a sex fantasy brought to life. Safe in terms of no fluids shared, safe in terms of being in your own home or other comfortable environment, safe in terms of the law, safe in terms of the anonymity and acceptance — but yet you are not all alone in the fantasy either.

Rex: I’ll admit I’ve gone the escort route a couple of times, legally, and I’ve gone to strip clubs and massage joints too. But they are far too… I want to say “messy” but… LOL Primarily, they are not as safe and convenient for me in terms of access and getting what I want. It’s far easier to message with a PSO and discuss what you want and, when you are pretty sure she can deliver what you want, make an appointment that fits your schedule. When it’s done, it’s done; there’s no drama and no drive back home (or, as usually my case, back to the hotel) when you’d rather just fall asleep.

God, we sound like selfish bastards.

But we’re not that bad really. Compare it to the choices in food. Going to a restaurant is less work than cooking your own dinner, but having a meal delivered is even better, right? It’s not the best way to eat every meal or even every night (and take it from the hotel-living guy, I make sure to get a suite with a kitchen so I can cook my own food). But there are times when it is a matter of treating yourself more than it is a matter of laziness. And that’s what I consider phone sex to be: a treat.

Roue: Photos are all your imagination; movies are too little of your own imagination. Phone sex is an interaction, a give and take between you and the PSO.

Gary: Not to mention, you can have photos and even video with your PSO experience. Often a PSO has images of herself, but even if she doesn’t, you can chat and send photos or watch a porno together. There are lots of options.

How important is the anonymity? Not just in terms of privacy, but for the fantasies?

Rex: It’s incredibly erotic to be so intimate and yet be talking with a stranger. Even if you have a regular PSO you talk to, you still only know each other in this fantasy world you’ve created. Never really seeing one another, never meeting, means the bubble is never burst.

Gary: Yeah, she may or may not be the girl in the pictures — but then I don’t have to be me either. I don’t even have to be human! Sometimes I’m a sadistic demon — or she is! But I could be an historical figure, a character from a movie, or whatever. You can even be an average guy who is just not you. Like you could be younger, richer, bigger, whatever. Or just bolder because you aren’t hampered or limited by anything but your words and descriptions, the scenes you create.

Rex: And when you do hang-up, the scenes and fantasy lives there in limbo until you pick up the phone and talk again. There’s no reality to get in the way and kill things, no intimacy to re-establish.

Roue: That’s the biggest thing for me — the break in reality. Most of my phone sex fantasies are things I would never do in real life. I don’t mean just because I’m a nice guy who is afraid to do those things, but I mean that they are things I would never really want to do.

klaudia sex in library and other sacred spacesGary: Tell me about it. I fantasize about fucking on a church alter, screwing a nun, and other sinful things — but I’d never be able to enter the building and keep a hard-on!

Roue: Some things are just sexier in your head than they are in reality.

Rex: Or sexier in your hotel room with an anonymous stranger on the phone than they ever could be in reality.

Gary: I can’t really be a demon and take several women at a time — or find a demon with a dick and a tail to fuck me with. Pretending with multiple dildos and partners just couldn’t be as powerful as what we make-up on the phone.

Roue: And somethings while do-able just aren’t practical. Like who wants to clean-up after the bathtub full of mud?

Rex: Or pay for the delivery of that tub full of mud. LOL

So phone sex helps you get your deep kink on. But do you ever make calls that are more companionship oriented, like therapy or counseling sessions?

Roue: No, that would be crossing a line for me and my marriage. I mean we’re friendly, my PSOs and I. There’s often chit-chat before of after the main event. But any emotional connection or support I need I get from my wife.

Gary: I had a few of those sorts of calls when I first started calling PSOs. I felt I needed to establish a connection in order to share the twisted stuff. I find myself rarely having those sorts of calls anymore. But I do still have them.

Rex: I’ve a few regular girls I do call more for date-like experiences. It’s nice to have someone to watch tv or movies with or talk with me while I eat dinner in the hotel at 2 a.m. Like real dates, sometimes there’s sex, sometimes there’s not. It depends on where the mood and the moment takes us.

don't-always-have-phone-sex-peck-and-call-girlsAre you married or in a relationship? If so, does your partner know about your phone sex habit?

Roue: You know the wifey does know — she’s the one who hooked me (like a fish) for this interview!

Rex: I’ve never been in a serious monogamous relationship for more than six months in my adult life. And now I avoid them like the plague. Traveling is one of the a hazards of my job. Traveling and extended stays overseas. Even when I’m in the states, I’m here for three months, then another city for six months, and so on. It’s just not conducive to building relationships. At all.

I’d like to say that when that great big One Day arrives and I’m in a situation where I can settle down and have that sort of life, a wife, that I won’t want phone sex. But it’s been six years of counting on it… I might be kidding myself that the phone sex calls will end then. I’d hope the companionship calls would be a thing of the past, but the real sex ones? I’m not so sure…I’m sure I’d figure that out before we’d marry, so there’d be time while the relationship is developing to know for sure and, should it still be something I want to do, to discuss it with her.

Gary: I’m divorced now — and not because of the phone sex or anything sex related either. We just had different goals and got married too damn quickly really. In a church that she grew close to and I out-grew. (Yeah, I’m one of those stereotypical recovering religious conservatives who plays with all sorts of taboos now.) Anyway, defensive fit over with…

When I was married I didn’t use phone sex services. If and when I get into another relationship, I’m not sure I’d still be interested in the phone sex. …Maybe I would. If so, I’m not sure how I would handle it. I’m not saying I would lie about it; but as long as the money I spent didn’t affect the household as a whole, would I need to tell her? I didn’t share my Playboy mags before, or tell her when I had used them… It’s private and why shouldn’t masturbation on the phone be the same way? I don’t think a person in a committed relationship has to share or divulge every masturbatory action.

In part three, the phone sex story plot thickens!