Bloody Bad Period Sex Misinformation

So, according to Dr. Dee Fenner, MD, there’s been no study on this factoid I’m about to talk about ~ but the “news” has been making the rounds on sex blogs as if it were actually the results of a new study.

Newsflash: Having orgasmic sex while menstruating will end your period sooner.

 

Dr. Fenner ~ who is Director of Gynecology, Director of Surgical Services, and a Professor in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of Michigan, says the reason, quite obviously, is that “menstrual blood in the uterus is squeezed out during orgasm.”

Normally this is where I would begin ranting about studies informing us of things we already know ~ but, remember, this wasn’t a study finding. In fact, it wasn’t even a study. And that’s rather what my rant would be about: How infrequently studies are made about women’s health, female sexuality, and the like. Cuz, you know, men’s bodies & their ability to get off is always paramount. There are plenty more studies about men, their bods, their health.

However, it should be noted that there have indeed been women’s health studies about coitus and menstruation.

This 1989 study found that “sex during menstruation appeared to increase the chances of endometriosis but not of PID (pelvic inflammatory disease).”

This 1996 study, for example, did find that intercourse during menses may cause heavier bleeding ~ which may leave perimenopausal women more vulnerable to hysterectomies.

This 2011 study concluded that “coitus during menses could be a predisposing factor for endometriosis.”

I’m not a doctor. I don’t even play one on TV. But I don’t think you need to be alarmist about these studies. Though if you have a family history or other concerns regarding these health concerns, discuss with your doctor the fact that you’re having, or would like to have, sex while on your period. I do, however, think such information on such studies ought to be included in articles and posts about sex while having your period.

Aside from the lack of any mention of these studies, what stood out the most in the article where I spotted this recently-dropped knowledge was this bit on the benefits of having sex while on your period:

Having sex while on your period immediately brings you closer together. Having sex during this ‘no-go’ time is a bold move – and one that can cement your bond.

Yes, if you really want to fuck while menstruating, go ahead. Breaking such a simple & silly taboo can bring you & your partner closer together. Like most any consensual intimate act, the willingness to “go there” can do wonders for your relationship.

Then again, it could be that couples having sex during menses do so precisely because they already feel close to one another.

Which is the cause, which is the effect?

But before I could get too caught up in that question, the article went on to ruin everything by tacking-on this bit:

From trying new positions, to experimenting with different moves – after period sex, you’ll notice that you’re far more willing to engage in new things in the bedroom.

Really?! Now this reads like a thinly-concealed “why you should have sex with her while she’s on the rag” piece. It’s all about convincing couples that doing it on the rag means a woman should want to do more wild things now. You know that old, “I’ll wade into the red river, if…” stuff. *snort*

I know I shouldn’t be surprised. Far too many articles are slanted this way…

But come on now!

Ladies, if you don’t want to do it when you’re on the rag, no need to be coy or polite; just say, “Thank you, but no.”

But, ladies, let me also tell you this: If you want to shorten the duration of your menstruation (not to mention relieve your cramps or change your mood via a fantastic orgasm!), you need not a man nor any partner for this ~ just masturbate yourself to orgasm! Yes, this is a real thing. Science confirms it. From that 1996 study on coitus & menstruation:

Female orgasm appeared to be the trigger for uterine contractions in this species. Sexually related uterine contractions occurred with or without the presence of penile intromission, provided the female showed evidence of sexual climax through the acceleration of her heart rate and subsequent species-typical facial expressions.

So let the orgasmic bliss of menstruation masturbation lead you to a more intimate place with yourself. Maybe you’ll love yourself more. Maybe you’ll become more willing to experiment with yourself sexually. Maybe you won’t. And that’s OK too. Don’t pressure yourself like some bad sex article might.

Image Credits: “I Love Period Sex” Sex Cum Rag Handtowel from The Love Rug Shop; Shark Week No Sex For You Low Rise Cheeky Boyshort Panties from Tee Shirt Cafe.

Onaholes: The More The Merrier?

Hey, Hannah Smothers & Cosmo, if you think that the 3fap three-hole masturbation toy for men is confusing and upsetting, well, you must have missed this Fucking Ageist Cantaloupe Sex Toy from six years ago.

While the 3fap offers three holes (mouth, vagina, & ass) the Wet Sucker Setsugekka Orgy Onahole suggests an orgy of one man with at least three different women who each will wait their turns… There are three pussy onaholes, each representing three a woman of a different age, and one, apparently ageless, asshole.

The Setsugekka predates the 3fap by six years.

See Also: What’s an onahole?

Warning: Choke Hazard!

Despite the lifelike appearance, ethereal beauty, and being “endowed with soul”…

This doll, with the perfectly molded internal structure of vagina, is not for children under 3 years old.

WARNING:
CHOKING HAZARD
Small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs.

Yes, it’s the small parts which make this sex doll inappropriate for children…

Hot For Teacher? Even Hotter For A Tit Job?

As a big-breasted girl, I know full well the power of a titty fuck. Since I can’t be everywhere, you might want to find a readily available substitute. And, since we’re speaking of “substitutes,” here’s a substitute teacher to help you with your busty naughty dreams: the Oppai Teacher, aka the Huge Boobs Teacher Deluxe Toy.

This Japanese masturbator has a pair of pleasure holes (onaholes) as well as a bountiful bosom for paizuri (titty fucking).

Unlike some other life-size (or nearly so) fuckable sex dolls, you have realistic breasts to play with.

I’m not exactly sure what makes her a “sexy teacher” ~ maybe it’s the glass test tube between her breasts… She’s a science teacher! She’ll blind you with science, baby!

But we can all get behind the idea of a teacher sex doll, right? Especially when this nearly full sized sex toy can also be used doggy style!

Made in Japan; but you can order it here and have it sent to you in the USA. Yes, it’s safe to use; 100% phthalate-free materials. Lotion is included too, so there’s nothing to stop you!

A Yoni Egg?

We can get stimulated by odd things. I’ve admitted to a few here and on my own site. Why specific things work for one individual and not another is not something I think about a lot. I’d rather collect what does work for me and enjoy it as I please. I do think there is something of the science fiction/ alien fetish with this egg idea though. I’m curious about how it will feel slipping inside of me. I don’t think keeping it inside will do much for me, as far as stimulation. But, that’s all part of the experiment and the exploration.
egg Via Etsy: Crystal Energy Canada

Saucy Saturday: German Porn Edition

If you’re looking to spend some time masturbating with some international flair this weekend…

This site has German porn ~ or porno, as the Germans call it. Which means you’d be masturbieren like a real German now. Of course, if you prefer your German porn to be of the kitschy nostalgic variety, lederhosen and all, there’s this

german porn stars

Sunday Funnies: Sing Along Edition

The Autoblow 2 has been upgraded to the Autoblow 2 + and there’s a new sing along song to help you learn about the new features. Like the first jingle, also by Chicago-based singer-songwriter David Safran, this catchy little promo is supposed to maximize word of mouth marketing about the masturbator that simulates a blow job. *wink* Just try to un-hear “the Autoblow 2 has been upgraded; it’s a perfect time to be fellated!”

You can find my man’s review of the Autoblow 2 here.

Nifty Nostalgia For Your Naughty Bits

If you’re of a certain age, maybe even younger, you’ll likely recall the old Sit & Spins and the Hoppity Hop Balls… For those of us who had some pretty nice sexual awakenings on those toys, the iRide conjures those old naughty nostalgic notions…

iRide sit and spin hoppity hop

Phone Sex Is An Art

In the February issue of Cosmo, Julianne Hough discusses the desire to keep intimacy alive in a relationship, including how difficult it is to talk dirty:

On her long-distance relationship and whether she and her fiancé have phone sex: “Oh, for sure. But I’m really bad at it … I’ll get halfway through and start laughing. It’s an art. I applaud people who are good at it. They need to come and help me keep a straight face!”

While I’d love to ponder how dreamy Hough might look while like masturbating during phone sex (and I’ll give you a moment to recover from the images in your mind too!), it may be more kind to offer Hough ~ and you ~ some tips on how to master the art of phone sex.

cosmopolitan-feb-16-julianne-hough-coverFirst, don’t worry what your face looks like. It’s phone sex; your partner can’t see you. (Plus, we all have orgasm faces ~ and we don’t worry about those once things get to that point!)

Second, it’s OK to laugh. It breaks the tension. Besides, giggles are often a part of hot sex.

Third, like anything else, talking dirty gets easier and better with practice. Whether you’re working with paint on canvas or words to make a sexy picture for your lover, practice matters. If you feel really uncomfortable starting out, why not practice with a pro? The folks who work at adult chatlines would be happy to lend you a virtual hand, assisting you while you work on the proper verbal strokes necessary to create your oral masturbation piece.

You’re 7 Days Behind…

30-day-masturbation-challenge-anna-sudit-opener-02You, yes you, are seven days behind if you want to take Refinery29’s 30-Day Masturbation Challenge.

This challenge is about more than self-pleasure; it’s a self-improvement challenge, using sex ed to improve your sex life. But we’re fine with it just being about masturbation. And I’m OK with doing it more than once a day too. Even if I started on time ~ even when the month, and the challenge, ends.