Celebrating MLK Day With Sex Fantasies Of Racial Degradation

Over at Lynn’s phone sex Tumblr, there’s a post today that not only isn’t likely what Martin Luther King Jr. envisioned, but certainly will upset more than a few people:

It may not be what Martin Luther King Jr. envisioned, but if you’d like to enjoy the day off for MLK day by getting off with some racial degradation, go for it. Operators are standing by!

Some, like Heidi, can’t stand white cock. But there’s more to racial degradation than big black cock – for women or men. There are other humiliating race-based fantasies which are best acted out in the privacy of your own home with a savvy phone sex operator. This in addition to just plain hot fantasies of Asian women, Latina babes, ebony beauties… Maybe it’s a simple attraction to exotic beauty… Maybe it’s a racial thing… Whether it’s Yellow Fever or Jungle Fever, maybe your racial lust is still taboo for you.  Maybe you’re the man or woman of color looking for a white woman or man to belittle you for your race… Or maybe you need someone, anyone, to put you in place for your white privilege with some financial domination.

There are even sex fantasies involving religious blasphemy.  In today’s post Arab Spring world, there’s been a huge increase in Muslim men looking for femdom action.

So what’s your cultural sexual sin? Confess it, play with it, blow a load and take a load off your mind with these PSOs who are ready to go for some serious racial degradation.

At first glace, this may just seem to be somewhat distasteful marketing ploy for attention and phone sex promotion on a relatively lazy US holiday (even taking advantage of the MLKDay hash); but there is more to it than that.

mps mlk day racial phonesex fantasiesFor one, Lynn, who runs the site, is the pro behind Phone Sex Secrets; so she knows more than a thing or two about phone sex and sex work trends. (Her research on the connection between the Arab Spring uprising and the Google blow-up of “femdom” searches was even picked up by Dr. Gloria Brame.)

As Lynn notes, sex work is a part of capitalism. There wouldn’t be categories of racial fantasies if they didn’t sell, if folks didn’t make bank. As a former escort, I can attest to the high frequency of racial fantasies, degrading or not, that lurk in the minds of Americans. And who among us cannot see the racism that’s running rampant today, especially in the Republican followers of Donald Trump?! Not your Angel, aka TrailerTrashGrl, certainly sees how all this is impacting male power, fears, and fantasies!

The question, really, is that does playing out such taboo fantasies help or hinder? We know that playing with taboos can provide great relief for the individual. And when fantasies are given a private outlet, they can be kept as fantasies without ruining our society ~ in fact, it can help preserve society.

As I’ve said before, fantasies are just fine; as long as you separate fantasy from reality and not create expectations, laws, etc. of of them.

A Reminder About Sex Worker Issues

call girls in jaipurIt’s a busy time of year, so it would be understandable if you had missed the International Day to End Violence against Sex Workers last week. But, thanks to the Internet & hashtags on Twitter, you can catch up on all the facts, stats, moving stories, and input from escorts and other sex workers, as well as their friends, families, advocates, and allies.

This is an annual event, held on December 17th each year, which calls attention not only to the hate crimes committed against sex workers worldwide, but the need to remove the social stigma and discrimination which puts sex workers at risk. The (red) umbrella event also works to address violence, stigma, and discrimination against transwomen, women of color, drug users, and immigrants.

No doubt such improvements would make things better for clients and the rest of the population as well.

I urge you to take the time to educate yourself on the issues ~ and mark your calendars for next year.

Because this is a worldwide, international event, the lovely image is from Jaipur escorts.

Sunday Funnies: Atypical Risque SPH Racism

While there’s no denying the racist tones of this risque mid-century “bar art” textile, I am surprised at the one small atypical finding…



The seller describes it thus:

This is a very vintage wall hanging suitable for a bar or man cave. It measures approx. 3 1/2 x 8 34/”. It features a “native” holding a can of beer and a glass of beer and asking the question “What’ll you Have?”. Back in the 50’s this type of risque wall art was found in home bars, more than likely the basement man cave. Completely and totally politically incorrect, over-the-top-tacky and I suppose kitsch. It has been very well preserved these many years and is in great condition. It has a little wooden dowel hanger at the top and the bottom edge is finished with fringe. The native’s long cloth (fringe) lifts up to reveal a surprise. It is made of fabric that has been treated with stiffening, the side panels are printed with gold ink.





While the seller does not show what’s beneath the native’s fringed attire, surely there’s no large penis hiding there. How unusual to see a racist piece that doesn’t boast of a “native” fool with a large tool, but instead goes for some small penis humiliation.

…But I am dying to see what’s there. Small penis, or not.



Kola Boof On Strong Women & Strong Words

KolaBoofToday, we are continuing our talk with Kola Boof

Kola, you’ve been called many things… Not all of them nice or even true. One label I know you use is “Womanist.”

Alice Walker is my favorite Woman and Toni Morrison is my favorite Writer. It’s because of the message in their work that I call myself a Womanist. And the other mother of Kola was Gloria Steinem. Those three. I am a Womanist-Feminist proudly.

Speaking of strong and passionate women ~ who often experience anger and attacks… You’ve worked on a project with Roseanne. Tell us a bit about that?

Oh my God…Roseanne Barr has changed my entire view of White Feminists. I think it’s because she understands rituals, clannish tribalism and foreign women’s issues. Getting to know Roseanne has been one of the happiest events in my life. She is like George Carlin, Richard Pryor and Lenny Bruce–a social commentator masquerading as a comedian! She is a genius. I filmed a new talk show pilot with her. I don’t have permission to give too many details. I don’t have any idea if or when it will air. Most pilots never reach the air, unfortunately. But she told me that we are now friends, not just associates, and that means a lot to me. I really love who she is and what she stands for. Neither one of us agrees totally with everything the other one says…that needs to be mentioned….but I feel that every woman should read her autobiography, Roseannearchy.

When Roseanne works her humor (stand-up or when she had her sitcom), her biting commentary is far more accepted than when she just speaks her mind. Do you find this is somewhat true for you as well? For example, when you write a book, are those opinions more accepted than when you speak your mind in person or on Twitter?

Oh yes. When I write my books, people acknowledge my great craftsmanship, my naturally poetic storytelling, my softness and my compassion even in the most fiery scenes. They have a context to put everything into. But when I speak in sound bites on Twitter, I come off as a vulgar man-hating, possibly racist Wicked Witch to them. Haha!

Truth is, I need to stay off of social media. But then the publishers don’t want you if you don’t cultivate and sell yourself. I have almost 20,000 followers. It’s a terrible catch 22. And with these Arab corporations openly offering publishers bribes not to publish me and offering reporters money to invent terrible stories about me, it’s very scary not to have that platform. But even my Twitter platform has been hacked 7 times. My computers, my photos and my Youtube videos are constantly hacked. The Police stay monitoring them on my behalf. It’s really terrible, Gracie. They feel they have to discredit me because I’m too loud, too fearless.

The nail that stands the tallest takes the greatest hammering. …One reason to be glad I am not that sort of legend.

Speaking of legends… You got to know Whitney Houston before she died. What was she like?

She was the sweetest, most misunderstood…just an angel trapped in the expectations that society places on women…what her religion wanted her to be; what her parents wanted her to be. She was not on drugs any of the times that I met with her. She was beautiful, kind, hilariously funny and the true embodiment of sisterhood and unconditional love. I miss Nippy so much.

kolaWho were the authors that inspired you to become a writer?

There’s so many. Toni Morrison, Alice Walker, Gloria Naylor, Sylvia Plath and Gayl Jones were the main inspirations. I loved Wanda Coleman, the genius poet. Sherwood Anderson, Richard Wright, Wallace Thurman, James Baldwin and of course Zora. I deeply loved Nigeria’s great Chinweizu, Buchi Emecheta, Senegal’s Mariama Ba and Egypt’s Nawal el Sadaawi. But I was raised in a Black American home with mostly Black American authors. I am African-born, an African author…but when I’m dead, I want the Black Americans to get the credit for my contribution as an artist. They saved my life and made me who I am.

I owe everything to Professor Derrick Bell, Carl Nelson, Molefi Kete Asante and Joe Madison. Recently, I’ve been able to become comrades with one of the most legendary black women in publishing history, Malaika Adero. I got to hug and kiss Marva Allen, another Mother of the word. That makes me cry realizing how blessed I am to actually meet the women who inspired me not to commit suicide, not to become a drug addict when I was young and dumb. I had such a tragic, tormented start. But now I’m a productive artist who has a voice. I also want to mention Terry McMillan. I don’t know her. But it’s because of the success of that black woman writer that a precedent was created where black authors could regularly be published. I loved her books as a teenager and I’m grateful she blew the doors open for us. Terry McMillan doesn’t get the credit or praise she deserves.

Out of the younger writers, your peers today, who do you admire?

Oh God. Let’s stick to the women and watch me forget to mention someone. But I have to say Z.Z. Packer is my favorite new writer. Chimamanda Adichie is my hero and sister of fire. I love her. I am blown away by Tayari Jones, Tsitsi Dangarembga and the new genius of Sci-Fi, Nnedi Okorofor. Loren Kleinman is my new favorite poet. I love Rebecca Walker so deeply. She is like a really smart woman who came through pure hell yet somehow isn’t as damaged as I am. Joan Morgan, Jamilah Lemieux and dream hampton (spelled lower case) are literal oxygen cleaners. I feel so empowered by Janet Mock, she’s the answer to everyone’s prayer in my opinion. I have a very high opinion of Jessica Care Moore, Helen Oyeyemi, Morowa Yejidé, Shirley Sherrod…and I am so impressed by this rapper Azealia Banks. She’s not a writer, she’s a rapper but I feel her music has literary merit. I hate that I’m leaving so many out. I hope they forgive me.

Your publisher, Johnny Temple and his outfit Akashic Books, is steadily becoming one of the most acclaimed flagship labels in what the New York Times calls a renaissance for Brooklyn publishers. What is it like to work with him?

I live on the West Coast and almost never get see my bosses at Akashic, but I adore them. Johnny Temple deserves all the credit for Kola Boof when Historians someday recollect this era in African literature. Johnny gave me my big break based solely on raw talent. And my editor, Ibrahim Ahmad, is very dear to me. He did everything to make The Sexy Part of the Bible the big hit that it was. There’s also Joanna Ingalls who I love a lot just because she’s so accepting and non-judgmental. I’m extremely lucky to be at Akashic Books because it really is the most important house in publishing right now.

What are your plans for the future?

I have some amazing novels coming out. I Am My Own Daughter will be the first one. It deals with suicide among Blacks and features a Black American woman named Eyelet March who flies airplanes delivering furniture for a living. In real life, that’s what my husband Jason does. And I have another novel finished, She Wiped It On the Wall. It’s about a Black American female reporter traveling to Sudan to save an Atheist Dinka girl from being stoned for witchcraft. I’m planning a novel about the nature of shame entitled KOOL because I don’t understand people that are always ashamed of trivial things. And I’m planning a story collection about Transsexuals called The Beach Is At the Ocean and a novel set in Nigeria, The African Mafia. I’ve also promised my fans a complete cook book–cooking is my passion.

So my future is writing. I’m a writer booked up until death. Haha!

Catching Up With Kola Boof

kola boof photoIt’s been nearly 10 years since we published the Author, Author Sex Kitten Edition ~ and that was when we last spoke with Kola Boof.

Kola is an Egyptian-Sudanese-American novelist, television writer, and soccer mom. She’s the author of 10 books published in 8 countries. Her last novel was the highly acclaimed The Sexy Part of the Bible published by Akashic Books. Her autobiography, Diary of a Lost Girl, continues to be a bestseller a decade after its initial publication.

Because Kola is so controversial, I wrote this as the introduction to the second part of our 2005 interview, The Message & The Messenger:

Perhaps I am too Utopian *wink* but I do believe that when we gain insight & understanding, we can put our hearts & ethics into action. I respect the hell out of Kola Boof. Admire her greatly. Even when her words sting. For behind them, truth rings. I’d like to think there are others out there who can be taught daily, and not just from some ‘word a day’ calendar.

My views on education and understanding have not changed; nor has Kola. If anything has changed, it’s just that my admiration grows. Here is part one of catching up with the one and only Kola Boof.

UNDEFEATED A North African Writer's Support for IsraelKola, recently you’ve been experiencing some attacks on Twitter (and probably elsewhere). Can you describe the situation?

This is a volatile time because of the war between Israel and Palestine. Particularly in the Black community, the support is overwhelmingly and passionately for the Palestinians. So I am seen as a traitor right now for standing with Israel. Americans do not care about my history as a North African born Sunni Muslim Black female, half-Arab, and all that it means historically, the Arab enslavement of my people…and to me personally, the horrific abuse I experienced as a Muslim girl child. American liberals and especially Black Americans simply see me as a traitor being hateful to the poor long-suffering Palestinians. So I am being horribly attacked and slandered on Twitter for not joining the Western liberal and Black American narratives.

It hurts a lot because I am adopted and raised by Black Americans. I want so much to please them and be accepted by them. So this is one of the most difficult times I have ever had as an American citizen. But I must stand against Arab Islamic governments for my dead birth parents and for my own integrity. My views on Islam would make Ayaan Hirsi Ali look like a Mullah. I’ve lived in Israel twice and have nothing but praise for Israel. I count Benjamin Netanyahu as a personal friend even though there’s little we agree on politically–he’s a friend. American liberals just can’t understand that because my politics up until now have been leftist liberal.

You’re no stranger to attacks. How much of this do you think has to do with the message ~ and how much does this have to do with your status as the messenger, i.e. race and gender?

That’s a great question. It has everything to do with my gender. For women to speak as loud, clear and assertively as I do is seen as unnerving even to those who support me. If I were a man, I’d be called Norman Mailer or Gore Vidal or Amiri Baraka. But as a female, I am literally swept under the carpet and often lied on. People will believe anything that’s said against a woman. The stories about me are outrageous. People in the press choose to believe it because they want to silence this Black woman supporter of Israel.

What do you think the public perception of you is?

The public…the people in the streets and bookstores, generally like me. To them I am entertaining and never boring, which Capitalists forget is the most important thing to laymen. But they’ve also been fed so many lies and conflicting stories about my personal story that they honestly don’t know what to make of me. I literally get that everywhere I go. I am very popular with the masses but greatly despised and feared by the establishment and by the industry people.

Is there any truth in the perception?

There is no truth in the smear campaigns that people like David Hoile and the Sudanese government and their Oil interests in the West have invented and spread about me. But when a Black woman is defiant and subversive, even in the West, these negative perceptions persist. I speak against Colorism and Black self-hatred, which bothers Black men and White people. I speak against radical Islam and Arab atrocities against Africans, so those Arab interests finance smear campaigns against me. The latest rumor is that I was born in Nebraska, not North Africa. They claim I am a fraud and a liar when in fact no one is more truthful than I am.

Kola Boof lakeshore Kola Boof Miss Kola BoofWhat would you like people to really know & understand about you?

I want people to know that I am the new Norman Mailer. Just with PMS. Haha!

No. I want people to know that although my words look masculine and aggressive in print, I am very soft-spoken and calm. I am not angry. People who meet me in person are always shocked at how gentle I am. I want people to know that I’m a happy wife and mother. I love my family and I have a wonderful sense of humor. I spend ninety-percent of my day laughing. I love any and all races of people. Any type of person, other than a child molester, is welcome in my home. I truly love animals, I literally have a farm. But with all that said, I am an artist and a critical thinker. My gender matters not. I have very strong opinions and passions. I am on earth to share that and I should not be silenced just because I’m a bit exotic and different from the conventional American.

As a mother, does public perception of you touch or impact your children?

My boys are still very young and not truly aware of ‘Kola Boof.’ I am Naima Bint Harith to them. I am Jason’s wife. I was their father’s wife. I teach them to ride horses, plant gardens, cook and shoot guns. They have been raised isolated from American mores and folkways as much as I could. But during the time we were under Federal Protection, they definitely suffered because of my past scandals and because of my politics. Their lives have been in danger because of me.

What lessons have you learned from all of this that you share with your children?

I don’t feel that one can truly live unless one is ready to die for the things he believes in. I am not into being liked. I am the living breathing embodiment of Alice Walker’s poem, ‘Be Nobody’s Darling/Be an Outcast.’ When I read that poem as a teenager and loved it so much I had no idea that I would in fact become that. So that is what I want my sons to be.

Our conversation with Kola continues on Wednesday. Meanwhile, you read her books, including UNDEFEATED: A North African Writer’s Support for Israel.

Dragon Lady Toenails?

Quib asks if referring to an Asian phone sex & camgirl Mistress’s feet as having “Dragon Lady Toenails” is racist.

At the time of this posting, the PSO in question, MzKim, has not yet replied. However, a sex worker like MzKim likely has played with far worse fantasies.

Over a year ago I wrote about “Yellow Fever” and sexual fantasies regarding Asian women. Overall, I agree with the advice given to Quib. But I hope MzKim finds the post and replies.

mzkim foot fetish phone sex mistress

Of “Yellow Fever” & Fantasies Of Asian Women

As a former sex worker, I know many fantasies seem problematic. We’ve covered the some of the fetishes & fantasies before, such as BDSM and rape fantasies. But we’ve certainly not covered them all. So I thought we’d take a look as some more of these in a little series. Today, we begin looking at a sub-set of fantasies that seem racist: The male lust for Asian women.

Asian-Slut-AkinaLike most sexual fantasies, sometimes the subject of the fantasy is all about the subjective ideas of “beauty” in the eye of the fantasy holder. In other words, men might search for porn using the words Asian woman sex simply because they find physical attributes typically associated with being Asian attractive and arousing. No, I’m not saying “all Orientals look the same”, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with finding tan skin, dark hair, and shorter yet slimmer builds attractive than it is to like busty blonde white women.

But when men move past such ideas of “beauty” into fantasies of “Asian culture” they start to head into bad, racist territory, primarily, because there is no one Asian culture. Koren culture is different from Japanese culture, Chinese culture is different from Indian culture, and so on. It is simply a fact that there is little unity or even common history for many of the peoples of Asia, so there is no “Asian culture”.

And even when fantasies are more specific, such as lusting after a Japanese geisha girl, it is often based on stereotypes or myths. Like the famous “Asian women are sweet, innocent and submissive” fantasy. Being the dominant man or central figure in fantasies about Asian women are OK. Yes, I’m saying “yellow fever” fantasies are OK. I think fantasies in our heads, in our masturbatory hands, and even played out in our beds are OK because they are fantasies and not reality. (And, heck, our sexual arousal is often based on taboos; certainly the fear of being caught for being a racist qualifies.) However, any time you move from fantasies to reality, from your mind and masturbation to the ways you select sex partners and live your life, you could be headed into trouble.

Debbie Lum has been exploring the complicated nuances of race and romance involved in “yellow fever”. In Seeking Asian Female, her feature-length directing debut, Lum documents an elderly white American man and a young Chinese woman who look for love and find marriage ~ brokered by the Internet. (In April, a companion project, an online video series and forum called They’re All So Beautiful, launches.)

The bottom line: Attraction to Asian women is fine, so long as you accept their beauty for what it is, beauty, and have no expectations of who they are as people, or treat them a certain way, based on such things. Fantasies, even stereotypical fantasies, of Asian women are fine, so long as you can ~ and do ~ separate fantasy from reality.

Image via Asian PSO Akina.