Sweet, Wet, Eroge Dreams

Love Japanese eroge? Are you a huge, hardcore fan of the Starless Nymphomaniacs Paradise, specifically? Do you love the eroge degradation and rape-fantasy play so much you dream of being house servant Sawatari? Well, then have I got some pillow covers for you!

Here’s MILF Marie Mamiya:

Seishojo Pillow Cover STARLESS NymphoManiacs - Marie Mamiya

Here’s the terrible maid, Sachie Asagiri:

starless maid Sachie Asagiri hentai

You can find more of the naughty pillow covers here.

All pillow covers are illustrated by Seishojo. They are made in Japan from high-quality 2-way, silky Tricot, measuring 500 × 1600 centimeters. NOTE: The actual product is uncensored, so you can, err, snuggle as intimately as you wish. (After all, pillow covers and pillows are the cheapest ~ and easiest to clean ~ version of sex dolls.)

bratty hentai eroge STARLESS Marisa Mamiya

What’s Japanese eroge? The word eroge itself describes what it’s all about; the word combines the two words “erotic” and “game.” So eroge is the genre of visual novel games, aka pornographic Japanese video games. You might also call them hentai games, or H-games for short, as everywhere (but in Japan) the word hentai is taken to mean adult animation.

[Technically, in Japanese, the word hentai does not refer to any media genre, but rather refers to any perverse or bizarre sexual desire or act. However, the truth of the word won’t stop anyone marketing anime or manga style pornography using the hentai label.]

There’s also an animated adult series of Starless; here you can find the whole compilation of Starless 21st Century Nymphomaniacs.

STARLESS 21st Century Nymphomaniacs hentai

Sunday Funnies: Vintage Washington Porn Edition

While the world cringes from the current political circus, including recalling sex scandals of the past (some of which may just make the news again thanks to the lawyer for the DC Madam!), we invite you to remember ~ or enjoy for the very first time ~ a classic John Holmes film set in Washington DC: The Senator’s Daughter.

vintage The Senator's Daughter john holmes lesllie bovee

This 1978 porno, directed by Don Flowers, is a tongue in cheek play not only on the dirty side of Washington but on the popularity of TV’s The Six Million Dollar Man. The plot, in case you were interested, features the legendary & larger than life John Holmes as John Galt ~ a famous porn star who is disfigured in a car accident and agrees to undergo experimental surgery in exchange to serve his country as a special agent.

john holmes as bionic secret agent galt

This is no ordinary car accident. As Galt was being fellated during the car ride, his money-maker was completely bitten off during the accident. So the surgery gives him not only a bionic eye, arm, and legs, but a 12-inch bionic dick too ~ cuz, you know, that’s what secret agents need. To the delight of the doctor and nurses, his bionic dick works! (I say most of the nurses are delighted, because one is rather abused and seeks comfort with her mentor ~ you know, in order to get the requisite lesbian scene in.)

vintage lesbian nurses

Then Holmes/Galt is off on this first assignment, which is, of course, to rescue the titular senator’s daughter. The teenage daughter, played by Lesllie Bovee aka Leslie Bovee and Leslie Dubuex, has been kidnapped by the Russian syndicate. Their evil plan is to make a cyborg copy of her ~ which they manage to pull off, but Holmes/Galt thwarts their plans by shooting the cyborg double with his bionic cock weapon. This thrills Mission Control, who has been monitoring everything via the bionic-electronics. The scientists at Mission Control are so excited by the fruits of their labor that they have a party. At the one female scientist’s expense: “Nancy, since you’re the only girl, we’re all gonna kind of gang-bang you.”

Meanwhile, the senator’s daughter is still missing. She’s being held in Tangiers ~ and being repeatedly raped by the Russian kidnappers.

lesllie bovee leslie vintage porn

So the agent’s work isn’t done yet. Along the way, Holmes’ magnificent tool is used in highly unethical, hardcore interrogation efforts.

holmes in tangiers interrogation vintage porn

Spoiler Alert!

In the end, the senator’s daughter is rescued ~ and she marries her secret agent hero.

This film is also included in The Best Of John Holmes Classic Collection ~ which, like The Senator’s Daughter, you can stream online, download, or pay per minute view.

holmes bovee marry

Women, Including Feminists, Can & Do Like Rough Sex (We Knew That Already!)

Mashable discovers the reality that feminists can, indeed, like rough sex:

Of the 1,500+ self-described “kinky” women Jennifer Eve Rehor studied in 2011, the majority were found to have participated in “at least one of the following activities for their own sensual or erotic pleasure: physical humiliation, deprivation, punishment (physical), breath play, obedience/training, verbal abuse/humiliation, other forced activities and service-oriented submission/domestic service.” They did so in the role of the receptive or submissive partner.

For the record, the dominant partner(s) needn’t be male in these scenarios. Nor does rough sex necessarily imply penis-vagina intercourse. Feminist women can and do experiment with power structures well beyond male-female play.

Before you dash off and read the post, we’d like to remind you that we have copiously covered this issue for ages. (Besides, isn’t more confounding that a feminist can belong to most any popular religion?!) And we even discussed rape fantasies and actual rape in our discussions. Here are some of the more recent Sex Kitten posts on the subject of feminists & BDSM:

There’s No Such Thing As BDSM Romance? More BDSM Myth-information

Rape Fantasies Are Normal, Even If You’ve Been Raped

Say It With Me Now: “BDSM Is Not Violence”

BDSM, Porn, & Rape

See also, these interviews with feminists on BDSM: Erika Lust and Miss Fussypants.

Oh, and don’t forget our book ~ yes, actual paper! Sex-Kitten.Net Presents The BDSM Issue (2005).

Now go see the article at Mashable: Can you be a feminist and like rough sex? (Yes!)

Celebrating MLK Day With Sex Fantasies Of Racial Degradation

Over at Lynn’s phone sex Tumblr, there’s a post today that not only isn’t likely what Martin Luther King Jr. envisioned, but certainly will upset more than a few people:

It may not be what Martin Luther King Jr. envisioned, but if you’d like to enjoy the day off for MLK day by getting off with some racial degradation, go for it. Operators are standing by!

Some, like Heidi, can’t stand white cock. But there’s more to racial degradation than big black cock – for women or men. There are other humiliating race-based fantasies which are best acted out in the privacy of your own home with a savvy phone sex operator. This in addition to just plain hot fantasies of Asian women, Latina babes, ebony beauties… Maybe it’s a simple attraction to exotic beauty… Maybe it’s a racial thing… Whether it’s Yellow Fever or Jungle Fever, maybe your racial lust is still taboo for you.  Maybe you’re the man or woman of color looking for a white woman or man to belittle you for your race… Or maybe you need someone, anyone, to put you in place for your white privilege with some financial domination.

There are even sex fantasies involving religious blasphemy.  In today’s post Arab Spring world, there’s been a huge increase in Muslim men looking for femdom action.

So what’s your cultural sexual sin? Confess it, play with it, blow a load and take a load off your mind with these PSOs who are ready to go for some serious racial degradation.

At first glace, this may just seem to be somewhat distasteful marketing ploy for attention and phone sex promotion on a relatively lazy US holiday (even taking advantage of the MLKDay hash); but there is more to it than that.

mps mlk day racial phonesex fantasiesFor one, Lynn, who runs the site, is the pro behind Phone Sex Secrets; so she knows more than a thing or two about phone sex and sex work trends. (Her research on the connection between the Arab Spring uprising and the Google blow-up of “femdom” searches was even picked up by Dr. Gloria Brame.)

As Lynn notes, sex work is a part of capitalism. There wouldn’t be categories of racial fantasies if they didn’t sell, if folks didn’t make bank. As a former escort, I can attest to the high frequency of racial fantasies, degrading or not, that lurk in the minds of Americans. And who among us cannot see the racism that’s running rampant today, especially in the Republican followers of Donald Trump?! Not your Angel, aka TrailerTrashGrl, certainly sees how all this is impacting male power, fears, and fantasies!

The question, really, is that does playing out such taboo fantasies help or hinder? We know that playing with taboos can provide great relief for the individual. And when fantasies are given a private outlet, they can be kept as fantasies without ruining our society ~ in fact, it can help preserve society.

As I’ve said before, fantasies are just fine; as long as you separate fantasy from reality and not create expectations, laws, etc. of of them.

Understanding (Some) Male Rape Fantasies

Continuing our conversation about rape fantasies

When I asked Miss Pearl to write about male rape fantasies, she did a great job with A General Introduction To Rape Fantasies, particularly when it comes to male rape fantasies. However, one facet not discussed was the specific rape fantasies of sissies. In fact, this sort of forced feminization was what I had tucked away in the back of my mind when I wrote, “Humiliation of the male submissive can be just as much a part of the D/s turn-on as rape fantasies are for some women.”

I myself first discovered sissy fantasies and male rape fantasies when I was an escort, and it was a tricky thing to figure out at first. There are many misconceptions about these issues.

For those who are not familiar with what a sissy fantasy is, it’s one subset of crossdressing (which we’ve covered before here at SK in many articles) in which a straight male not only dresses up as a woman, but wants to live the role of a stereotypical sissy girl, often with a femdom creating the scene.

vintage-crossdressing-femdom

This involves more than just dressing in “girlie” attire, as A Slip Of A Girl explains:

A cross-dressing man may be even further along the continuum, in what many prefer to call “the role of the sissy.” Sissies and sissy maids typically are those cross-dressing men who like to role play as if they were female, including serving women and being used by men. In this role, they desire to participate in power exchanges based on their sexual ideals of gender roles; anything from pegging to spankings and other physical punishments, from emotional punishments such as humiliation to servicing other men. This includes being used by or “whored out” as a “sissy slut” to other men.

The definition of “sissy” and the fantasy acts themselves vary wildly based on the individual’s stereotypes of what it means to be female, their ideas of submission, and just about any other sexual interests, fetishes and fantasies you can think of. Clearly this is not a one-size-fits-all area of sexuality.

Along with what Slip mentioned, there’s also the forced aspect. Within the confines of BDSM’s rules of “safe, sane, and consensual” (SSC) or risk-aware consensual kink (RACK), forced feminization may involve physical restraints (bondage, manhandling, etc.), emotional or relationship control (via the D/s power dynamic), and/or mind control (hypnosis, intoxication, supernatural powers, etc.). And forced femme often includes more than just forcing a man to dress like a woman, but to be used like one as well. This includes rape and sexual servicing of men ~ which is why it is also sometimes called forced faggotry.

sissy maid femdom

As with pegging, such fantasies of being a sissy do not necessarily have anything to do with a man’s orientation or gender identity, but instead have to do with cultural stereotypes of femininity. To play with these stereotypes is to play with taboos. After all, in our patriarchal society, there’s nothing as low to a man as a woman. (Yup, that often includes gay men.) That’s why degradation and humiliation are often a large part of sissy and forced fem play.

And that’s where it can become very uncomfortable ~ especially for female partners. A Slip Of A Girl, who is a phone sex operator specializing in lingerie fetish, crossdressing elaborates in another article, The Great Cross-Dressing Divide:

Men’s ignorance to what we suffer, endure, is borne of their positions of power; intellectually we women understand that male privileges deprive men of “knowing,” just as white people cannot know what a Native American or African American has and does endure. But this can be intolerable at the personal relationship level. We often block all this because we don’t like to think about how the men we love just don’t get it, or even care to… But it takes most of us women years to find comfort in and with our own bodies, on nearly every level imaginable — and even when we find personal comfort, the cultural judgements and political control remains.

So when confronted by the confessions of a cross dresser, a sissy, etc., we hear their dreams, their presumptions, their stereotypes… The things many cross dressers seek in feminine finery strike at the heart of these painful issues, which is why so many women are so uncomfortable, consciously or not, with their partner’s desires. His fantasies of “what it’s like to be a woman” can seem almost misogynistic. Especially when they “joke” about how when they wear panties they “have the best of both worlds: the luxury of lingerie without the nasty menstruation.” Until women can honestly face what’s going on in their heads and hearts and understand it well enough to communicate it all — in as safe and accepting environment as cross dressing men want when they share their own secrets — there rather remains this dissonance, this distance, between them.

…I’ve spent a lot of time talking with hurt and confused women about this. In nearly equal numbers to cross dressing men. It’s not that women don’t want to understand and accept their partners, but they want to be heard and understood themselves. Both men and women have a lot of learning and accepting to do.

Because this can be tricky territory to navigate, many men with sissy and/or rape fantasies have difficulty finding female partners willing to share these the gender-swapping erotic fantasy play. With no outlet, these men become stressed ~ and stress is a big trigger for fetish and taboo sex play. The increased desire, coupled with what they feel is partner rejection representative of societal rejection, results in panic, distress, and self-loathing ~ but still they crave! In fact, the rejection and judgement feels an awful lot like the verbal abuse of erotic humiliation and may itself result in arousal. This cycle of desire-rejection-arousal-rejection leaves some men with what they feel is a compulsion or even an addiction. As an example, read this post by randomloser998; is he really worried about himself, or is he inviting sexual humiliation for his own thrills? It is difficult to tell. But as one commenter there points out, a good female dominant can get his problem, erm, in hand by employing cock control and orgasm denial.

If you have other questions about the sissification of straight men, or if you are a man who is looking for some sissy role play, A Slip Of A Girl can help (at NF & MPS). Don’t forget to check out her Fickle Knickers!

Image credits, in the order they appear: Female dominant dressing her crossdressing male; sissy maid serving while being used by a fuck machine.

Rape Fantasies Are Normal, Even If You’ve Been Raped

If you were following along with the Lifestyle BDSM Vs Professional Domination conversation, you know that I asked Miss Pearl to write a bit about rape fantasies ~ specifically male rape fantasies. And she did. However…

As usual, there were some problems along the way. Primarily that of people confusing rape fantasies with rape and rape culture ~ even though Miss Pearl was clear to make distinctions:

a sexual assault is simply not the same thing as a rape fantasy, and making the distinction is only worth token acknowledgement. I’m going to flat out say that nobody wants to actually be sexually assaulted no matter how elaborate and violent their fantasies are- now there might be a few self harming weirdoes out there who will talk about how they want it to be real, but it’s not a statistically significant amount. And speaking about someone who’s both experienced sexual assault and done this sort of thing as play, there is an overwhelming world of difference of how you feel around the real thing and a comfortable expression of sexuality with your partner. Kind of like stick fighting in a LARP and actually getting into a war are different concepts.

But that didn’t stop one man from attacking Miss Pearl’s post. He said the post and general concept sickened him and that he had little respect for Miss Pearl’s writing.

Miss Pearl defended her post against his “frankly paternalistic sexism” and I even replied that “rape is a far cry from rape fantasies, just as violence is a far cry from BDSM in general and car accidents are a far cry from demolition derbies.”

To which Stan replied:

there is no such thing as “rape fantasy”.

I am involved in a long term BDSM relationship with my wife. I am no stranger to kink and fantasy. This, however, is something I feel compelled to speak against.

Stan, at the behest of his wife, has since apologized for his tone; but he remains convinced that rape fantasies are, for lack of a better phrasing, just plain bad.

And he is not alone.

And so, we endeavor to educate.

Like Miss Pearl, I too am a survivor of rape (and another violent attack); unlike Miss Pearl, I am a girl who enjoys being “the one raped” by a male perpetrator in rape fantasy play.

rough sex

It’s not an easy thing for me to admit. In part because because I am a feminist, in part because such issues are even more loaded when you are a sex worker, and also because I am a woman who has survived violent assaults who now gets turned on by, among other things, rough or forced sex fantasies in which I am the “taken”. I have reasons to “know better”, right? Because it is hard to talk about, to defend, it is something that I feel I must talk about. Not only for the doubters; not only for the women, like me, who have survived assaults and lived on to be erotically moved and fulfilled by rape fantasies and forced sex scenarios; but for the lovers of those survivors.

First you should know that female rape fantasies are relatively normal; about four in 10 women admit having them, according to various surveys. As stated by Michael Castleman, M.A.:

For the latest report (Bivona, J. and J. Critelli. “The Nature of Women’s Rape Fantasies: An Analysis of Prevalence, Frequency, and Contents,” Journal of Sex Research (2009) 46:33), psychologists at North Texas University asked 355 college women: How often have you fantasized being overpowered/forced/raped by a man/woman to have oral/vaginal/anal sex against your will?

Sixty-two percent said they’d had at least one such fantasy. But responses varied depending on the terminology used. When asked about being “overpowered by a man,” 52 percent said they’d had that fantasy, the situation most typically depicted in women’s romance fiction. But when the term was “rape,” only 32 percent said they’d had the fantasy. These findings are in the same ballpark as previous reports.

Along with the phrasing issue, or perhaps because of that data, many who study such issues of human sexuality, like Castleman, feel that the “actual prevalence of rape fantasies is probably higher because women may not feel comfortable admitting them.”

Saying that would probably be the case with women who had been survived sexual violence would likely be an understatement. And given that one in three women will experience sexual or physical violence in her lifetime, you can see how those numbers would affect the survey responses, right?

I know I have had my difficulties dealing with it, admitting it to myself and then others. I am not alone. Clinical psychologist David J. Ley, Ph.D. writes:

Many women (and not a few men) I’ve spoken to over the years have disclosed to me their personal fantasies of being forced to have sex, usually with embarrassment, shame, and fear. They struggle over what this fantasy means, about them as a person, as a woman or a man, as a victim. Women have told me that they struggle with being a feminist, and yet still getting aroused at the idea of being taken by a man, against their will.

Boy-o-boy is all of that familiar.

rape victim rape fantasies

But I eventually made my piece with it and BDSM in general ~ even before reading what Ley wrote:

What does the rape fantasy mean? Lots of things. And perhaps in that, it means nothing. Our society romanticizes rape and violence, in complex and disturbing ways, from the Beast pounding on Beauty’s door in the Disney movie Beauty and the Beast, to the contents of thousands of romance novels, where women “swoon” and “succumb” to male passions and dominance. Fantasies of forced eroticism may, in some cases, be the result of social programming. Evolutionary biologist Randy Thornhill argues convincingly that rape is something that has occurred throughout human history, and thus, following his argument, these fantasies may reflect evolutionary adaptations. Psychologist Roy Baumeister has proposed that the fantasy of submission reflects a desire to escape from the burden of self, from the chore of being responsible, and in charge of your own existence.

It’s that last one especially that I wrote about in the SK BDSM book. But my point now is that rape fantasies are normal. Even if you’ve been raped or assaulted.

I know too that this can be difficult for the lovers of those who have survived assaults. Honest communication is always a good idea; it is especially so now. As is reading solid information, such as Dealing With Rape Fantasies As A Survivor Of Sexual Violence, and these comments from survivors with rape fantasies.

As Ley notes, the labels of “victim” or “survivor” may actually harm more than help because those words and attitudes may keep a person from “maintaining a sense of personal autonomy and power, developing a narrative that they, not the event and situation, nor the perpetrator, are in charge of their lives and actions.” We have rights, including the right to manage our lives according to our own values and judgment.

Without knowing it, people like Stan may be adding to the shame, degradation, & repression of people they love.

Image credits, in the order they appear: Image of Adrianna Nicole & Marco Banderas from Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex. Second iimage used here was once at Post Secrets. I couldn’t find the original posting, but on this archive site I did find a thread of comments which may also be illuminating.

Sex Question Friday: Why Am I Turned On By Rape Fantasies?

See on Scoop.itLet’s Get Sex Positive

Every Friday on the blog, I answer people’s questions about sex, love, and
relationships. This week’s question comes from a female reader who wanted
to know more about the topic of “rape fantasies”:

“How is it possible that rape is my greatest fear and yet a sexual fantasy
that I find arousing?”

Gracie Passette‘s insight:

See also: Rape fantasies at Sex Kitten.

See on www.lehmiller.com

Bound To Please For Christmas

Ashley Renee has the idea ~ skip the bows and let your beau enjoy your rope-bound, skimpy lingerie clad body beneath the tree. There’s a red lace teddy ~ cupless and crotchless ~ on sale right now. Get the red stockings and rope too, to complete the picture. (You can save $10 on any order of $50 or more with code SEXKITTEN. Use code BIGSPENDER and take $25 off any order of $100 or more.)

ashley renee bound tied in red lingerie and stockings shoes

BDSM, Porn, & Rape

The one good thing about today is that I don’t need to defend BDSM in general; Jessica Wakeman and Clarisse Thorn, among others, have taken care of that. But I still have some work to do…

Today’s issue in BDSM is in regards to Michelle Solomon’s post on porn and sexual violence. In her post, Solomon fairly presents studies on the subject and makes some excellent points too. Among the, the following distinction about rape:

[R]ape is a physically and obviously violent act. Yes, in some cases, rape is exactly that. But according to the South African Victims of Crimes Survey 2012 [pdf] three out of four sexual offences – including rape – are committed by someone known the victim. One in two rapes happens in someone’s home. Therefore, the large majority of rapes are not committed in some overt act of violence. If someone is coerced into doing certain sexual acts, even without the explicit threat of violence, it is still rape. Coerced sex =/= consent. The key point here is consent. No consent = rape. (See the Sexual Offences Act, here [pdf].)

However, that very distinction seems to be missing when discussing “sexual violence in media”. This error is made most of all when it comes to a study published in The Journal of Sex Research (May, 2000), a study which “measures the sexually violent content in magazine, video, and Usenet (Internet newsgroup) pornography. Specifically, the level of violence, the amount of consensual and nonconsensual violence, and the gender of both victim and victimizer are compared.” In the discussion of this study, Solomon offers the following chart along with some analysis:

sexual violence media graphYou can see that the researchers found that sexual violence generally in online porn and was really high – over 42% of the media sampled has some form of sexual violence. Both magazine and video porn had around 25% of scenes with any kind of sexual violence. That’s one in four scenes. The magazine and video porn had various kinds of sexual violence, and doesn’t seem to focus very much on any single one. Online porn was another story though – 25% involved some kind of bondage or confinement, 16% involved a weapon, and 9% had torture and mutilation. I’d say that’s a pretty strong link between porn and sexual violence.

To be fair, Solomon is discussing someone else’s study; which means the language, definitions, etc., are the work of the authors and not Solomon’s. But still, neither the authors of the paper nor Solomon seem to pay much heed to the impossibility of the statement regarding “consensual and nonconsensual violence” ~ particularly, the concept of “consensual violence”.

Violence by definition is unwanted and nonconsensual. Which is why there is the whole safe, sane, and consensual part of BDSM ~ most often identified by the concept and practice of a safe word. I repeat, violence and violent acts violate safety. And, like Wakeman says, “Who doesn’t “believe” in safety? Safety is not like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. It’s not something you have to suspend disbelief to achieve. Safety exists or it doesn’t exist.”

As I’ve noted before, negative assumptions about BDSM contradict reality. Yes, there are problems in BDSM; there are problems everywhere. But BDSM practices, rape fantasies, and the like ~ in our minds, in porn or in our lives ~ are not actual rape; nor must one lead to the other.

On a related note, see also: Porn Use Impacts Sexual Behavior Less Than You Might Think, Says Study.