Even Robots Need To Revive Their Careers With Sexy B Flicks

From the biography of Elektro, the world’s first celebrity robot who wowed the crowds at the 1939 New York World’s Fair, comes this sad and all-too-familiar chapter of the fleetingness of fame:

One curious part of the story is that Elektro tried the classic B-list celebrity tactic of using sex to revive a flagging career – appearing in a proto soft porn film in the 1960s.

The movie was entitled Sex Kittens Go to College, and you can see Elektro featured in the trailer.

Here’s the film’s trailer:

Catch Elektro as “Thinko”, Mamie Van Doren, and the whole gang in the flick.

Alpha the Robot Abducts Queen Zorine Of The Nudists

Not to become the sexy robot blog or anything, but who can pass up a photo ~ and a story ~ like this one from the 1935 San Diego Exposition?

A grand event thrown to help boost morale and the local economy during the Great Depression. Among the hundreds of exhibits, the ones best remembered are Alpha the Robot, a “mechanical man” created by Harry May representing the cutting edge of mid-30s robotic machine age modernist technology. At some point during the exhibition, Alpha wandered away from the Palace of Science and found himself at another exhibit, that of Queen Zorine and her harem of nudists who were frolicking about Balboa Park. This unique and delightfully strange picture shows Alpha “abducting” Queen Zorine.

Authentic vintage photo currently up for auction here; via.

Alpha the Robot Abducts Queen Zorine Of The Nudists

I Admit… I have a mini robot toy fetish

I’d like to set up these mini Transformer robots along the bottom of my bed, in a row facing me. I could fantasize about them coming to get me. Those mad, bad little robot men….

Maybe I like knowing I can escape whenever I want and laughing at how cute they are, trying to be so serious and scary and slutty. Of course, who knows what they might get up to once I went to bed and they escape out of the drawer… those bad little robot men.

3″ tall collectible series of Transformers figures. The tiny figures all swivel and pose w/7 to 9 points of articulation. Perfect for fans young & old!

Source: Transformers Blind Boxed Mini Figures

Mutual Online Sex with Robots

I know the webcam women are paid but… it seems close to non-consensual. This idea comes from a sex site which the webcam women work for. Part of the post says they will have to be brave because it has a lot of thrust. Then, how consensual is that, really? Can she dial it down or does it not have that option? What if it’s not good for her, just him?

Men may love the idea of “giving her a pounding” with a robotic dick they control but… taking a pounding may not be such a lovable thing.

robot penis

Via- Robot penis lets men have sex with webcam girls over the Internet

A hi-tech ‘teledildonics’ contraption described as the ‘Rolls Royce of f**k machines’ lets lonely men thrust into an artificial vagina – and have a robot dildo penetrate webcam girls in time to their thrusts.

This would not be for me. One of my first thoughts after reading the post was about how this spoils the only good thing about online sex, control and being the one in charge.

Maybe I’m just not into anything this mutual. I like turning him on, getting him all twitchy, squirming while remaining mostly unaffected myself. I’m the Domme and giving up control to him, or a mutual robot-in-the-middle doesn’t really appeal to me.

Also, how many women actually have an orgasm this way? I doubt it would be a lot of them. Part of the problem would be timing, the lack of intimacy and the pace set by the robot and the man. A good orgasm should not be rushed, pressured or faked. My best orgasms start with my own imagination. There may be a robot involved, but not in this way.

“A Strange Symphony Of Digital Escorts”

Sex tech made the news again, this time it was MTV spouting off on the “evolution” of sex. I say “spouting off” because while columnist Tess Barker may be clever & know her tech, I’m not sure if is all that sex savvy. She writes:

The old version of phone sex was always a little ridiculous, but “teledildonic” devices such as We-Vibe (along with its We-Connect app) and OhMiBod allow partners to create pleasurable vibrations from afar. These days, distance can make more than the heart grow fonder.

What’s ridiculous about “the old version” of phone sex, Barker? Talking together, be it dirty fantasy play or emotionally intimate talk, can lead to a mind blowing, orgasmic, thrilling fuck fest; because while it may employ individual masturbation it also engages the mightiest sex organ of them all, The Brain, via the ultimate connection ~ a human one.

While your partner may not be able to touch your body via phone sex, they can touch your mind. You can share a sexy mind meld, with or without the Star Trek role play.

As for the “teledildonics”, there are other ways to achieve that without pushing a button on an app; play control freak with your partner’s mind and tell them the what, where, when, why, and how of the masturabatory action. Be it their hand or a toy, controlling the scene and the action is hot. Super hot.

monkey playing a piano for dogsYou can come together to cum together, as opposed to, say, having a lazy person plunk their fingers on a keypad like some monkey playing the piano comedy bit.

Unless that’s what you’re into. Maybe you really like to monkey around; I don’t want to judge.

But just as two minds may be better than one, two minds may also be better than one and a trendy bit of sex tech.

Science and technology will make innovations in sexual toys and, once they figure out the truth of the female body, even perhaps in sexuality itself ~ but, as I’ve said before, it won’t replace the human components. It can’t.

Sex with robots will be no more therapeutic in its release than a vibrator made 130 years ago. The stimulation of our genitalia occurs, but what of our brains, minds and souls?

Sure, I admit that technology & culture are fluid bump-and-grind influencers, driving everything from changes in actual human needs to the “Because we can!” advancement mentality.

Steadfast & True robot love by leuckitBut is every innovation a real advancement? Does tech meet real needs, or does it only expose that we hunger for something that cannot be manufactured or produced with ones and zeros?

A case in point is Invisible Boyfriend (and sister site, Invisible Girlfriend). Make no mistake; the idea behind such services is not to provide human companionship, but to help the client lie to well-meaning family & friends by offering “proof” of a non-existent relationship partner. You know, to get mom off your back about being single. For a monthly fee, the platforms promise “virtual and real-world social proof” of your invisible “relationship” via texts, voicemails, and even snailmail. Mark Wilson gave it a try and found the experience, well, I’ll say a bit clumsy:

Syntax problems. Lazy wikipediaing. Look, I knew my invisible girlfriend was fake, but I began picturing what must be going on here—thousands of people typing out text messages, many pretending to be another gender, in a strange symphony of digital escorts.

Wilson’s description of his experience isn’t far off the technical reality, as he explains:

[I] learn that Invisible Boyfriend relies a bit on the artificial intelligence of chat bots, but most requests are handled another way: The St. Louis startup has teamed up with a fellow St. Louis company named Crowdsource, which manages a frontend interface to Amazon’s mechanical turk. That means Invisible Boyfriend sends your texts to a sea of micro laborers, who pick up all sorts tiny tasks during the day. They see very basic information about the character they play and text you back.

Again, in defense of Invisible Boyfriend & Invisible Girlfriend, co-founder Matthew Homann has clearly stated, “We’re not trying to help you believe you’re in a relationship. We’re trying to provide that proof [to others].” And, in fact, the sites themselves address the issue of “love” in the FAQs:

My Invisible Boyfriend… will I love him?

Seems a bit far-fetched, and a sit down between you and Jerry Springer may not be out of the question.

But nevertheless, the issue of technology ~ even that designed to meet a human “need” (I use quotes because I still don’t get the need to lie about being happily single) ~ has some issues. Not just the clumsiness of new technology, but the reality of being able to meet the human desire for connection. More from Wilson’s article:

Homann says that some early beta testers can get quite attached to their invisible partners. He describes one woman who has had an invisible boyfriend for a month and a half now. She flirts with him, but she tells him secrets, too. She’ll even ask him questions, like Siri, about movies playing in the neighborhood. (Homann says that’s an off-label use, but there’s no reason a mechanical turk can’t Google something for you.)

…”Even though I know how it works, behind the curtain, when I get a text message, I feel compelled to respond,” [Homann] says. “Technology has compelled us to respond even when it’s not necessary.”

These comments evoke visions of the film Her, in which—minor spoiler—humanity is overcome by the virtual companionship of conversational software. Right now there are limiters in place. The mechanical turk makes a lousy companion. And you can’t sext—guidelines prohibit the turk from responding to explicit content.

Which prompts the question: Should Invisible Boyfriend be thinking beyond the novelty factor? Could you fall in love with an Invisible Boyfriend? Or, could you at least sext with him? “If the marketplace wants to demand something, we certainly have the capability to deliver it,” Homann says. “We can train a workforce comfortable with adult-themed content, but it’s not something we’re trying to do now.”

While Homann likely ponders the quest for money from all sides (including both the large sums to be made from adult entertainment as well as the negative aspects of getting funding with an “adult” label), Wilson nearly hits the nail on the head:

Telephone based for-hire companionship—be it sexual or conversational—certainly isn’t a new idea. Invisible Boyfriend’s $25/100 text message premise isn’t so far from the pay-per-minute 1-900 psychics and phone sex lines of yesteryear. The business model might be similar, but the social experience is admittedly different. Those were 1:1 conversations with real people.

Yes, the one-on-one is the vital part. It’s the real human connection that matters here; even when naughty bits aren’t touching, we want to know we are in touch with another person. This is something many phone sex operators know well. And not just those of “yesteryear”, but those who thrive today, many of whom have expanded their phone sex to be true digital courtesans.

This desire to connect, human to human, isn’t limited to body parts only. Not even when we just want to get off. And the tech world, its columnists included, would be wise to realize it.

PS Also, please stop bashing everything that’s “old” or from “yesteryear”; doggy-style & missionary have been around forever and they still fuckin’ work.

Image Credits: Romantic robots, Steadfast & True by Leuckit.

ancient rome doggy style sex

I Want A Lover With A Robot Hand

No, not this robot hand; this robot hand ~ the Jimmyjane Hello Touch. Or at least I thought I wanted that.

jimmyjane fingertip vibratorsFor those of you who have been hearing a lot about the Jimmyjane fingertip vibrating adult toy, including that it may be the best sex toy ever invented, and have been thinking of adding the pricey toy to your bedroom stash ~ let’s talk about it truthfully.

I myself was intrigued by the idea of G-spot and clit stimulation with a partner ~ without having to wedge a toy between us or worry about it tumbling off the side of the bed. What could be better than slim little pads on your lover’s fingertips, right? Only it seems to be too good to be true.

I’ve been reading reviews that indicate problems with everything from less than stimulating buzz and difficulty fitting the Hello Touch on your fingers, to issues with cleaning and I-don’t-think-so claims that the product is made of medical-grade silicone. Perhaps worst of all, the manufacturer recommends the Hello Touch for anal play ~ and, since the vibration pods are separate from the finger pads and straps, it is more than likely that the little vibrators could disengage and lodge themselves in the rectum. Not. Cool. (That sort of ignorance just shouldn’t be tolerated. It makes me suspicious of any other Jimmyjane products.)

You can read all the gory details in the review over at Dangerous Lily’s site. And, as with any review, there are the “your mileage may vary” issues, you can also read the bit more positive review posted at Autostraddle.

Personally, I will wait and see what better technology comes along to help me cum along. But I still want a lover with a robot hand… That sounds better if you sing it as a play on The Pointer Sisters’ Slow Hand. *wink*

Fucking Robots For The Baby-Batter

Whether your love of robots is as fetish or you just like the idea of a super-charged male masturbator, a Chinese hospital in Nanjing, capital of Jiangsu Province, has created something just for you: an automatic sperm extracting machine, aka a jack-off-robot.


Of course, the new robot sex machine was created just to “help individuals that are finding it difficult to retrieve sperm the old fashioned way.” But isn’t that just what all masturbators are, really?

The only real difference is that someone wants to collect the deposit ~ and for the purpose of making a baby.


A Gentle Robotic Squeeze

Leave it to the Japanese to develop yet more sexy robotic technology.

Japanese researchers have developed a haptic device that attaches to a person’s hand and can simulate the softness of different materials by producing realistic tactile sensations on individual fingertips. According to the researchers, the device could serve as a training tool, helping medical students become skilled in exams that involve feeling parts of the body with the hands. One particular application, they say, would be teaching students how to palpate breasts when looking for lumps.

Sure, they say it’s a bit of tech for medical science, but I think we know what’s on their actual minds: virtual breasts.

All the details in Researchers Develop Robot That Lets Them Feel Softness of Virtual Breasts.


Shrinky Dink Kink (It May Not Be What You Think)

The fabulous Kaylee Pond is back at it again. Yes, this ginger has a gorgeous real body (with 36 Fs), but it’s her consistently high marks for creativity that amazes and out-strips most camgirls. This time, she’s incorporated both Doctor Who and Shrinky Dinks into the sexy show by creating Dalek body art! You can catch Kaylee on cam five days a week ~ and arrange a private show via private message ~ here.

kayleepond Dalek body art

Dalek shrinky dinks kaylee

bare breasts red hair glasses doctor who cam girl

kaylee pond doctor who cosplay nudity

Images via fansite The Wonder Of Kaylee Pond.