Tale As Old As Time? Beauty & The Beast Buzz

Pop Sugar thought they were clever posting about a Beauty & The Beast inspired dildo. Maybe they were; I mean, why not capitalize on the new buzz surrounding Disney’s live action remake of Beauty & The Beast. Even if most of that buzz surrounds the upset over an openly gay character (Hey, at least it’s not Lumière, as a “flaming” candle.) instead of the teenage-buffalo romance:

Why let the fact that the rosebud-tipped glass dildo (which clearly stays away from anything remotely related to the fairy tale or “Belle”) has been around for quite awhile stop you either.

However, why point to the most expensive purchasing option for the toy? Not only is the Prisms Budding Rose Shaped Glass Dildo cheaper on Amazon ~ nearly half the price ~ but it ships free with Prime, and that means you’re not waiting the two weeks the other shop notes for shipping.

There are other glass rose sex toy options as well. But if the whole point was to capitalize on “the buzz,” why not go with a rose vibrator?

First Impressions in a Man’s Bedroom

This is NOT my idea of a sexy bedroom.

I’m not expecting a lot but… it should be clean (sheets and the rest of the room). The mood lighting and posters are more likely to make me laugh and look for another guy.

This sort of set up is something a teenage boy may dream up but what kind of lover would he be? Very focused on his own needs and getting what he wants without thinking about the person he uses to get there.

What does your own bedroom look like?

Capture

Source: Bertibarbara.com

Dream Dates With Happy Endings

While America struggles to listen to the voices of sex workers and acknowledge their human rights, there are Sydney escorts creating heavenly packages that seem like something out of an adult version of Fantasy Island. Or maybe it is more accurate to say these escort packages are more like dates on The Bachelor

sydney escorts spa packageSure, I’m more of an UnReal girl; but that show wouldn’t be possible without the now classic reality television dating shows. And on those shows, aren’t the dates (group or single one-on-one dates) spent doing things like horseback riding and going to a sensual day spa? I’m pretty sure they’ve done a luxury cruise of some sort too… But I’m honestly not a fan of the shows, so maybe I’m wrong about the cruises. Anyway, these sort of luxurious glamour dates are exactly what those Australian escorts are now offering.

Of course, these sexy dates are complete with the honest and paid companionship of an escort. And I say “honest” because those Bachelor babes are paid too ~ it’s just that puritanical Americans like to believe in the romantic farce far more than they like to accept the sexual realities of adults. It’s far more honest to go on one of these dream dates with a paid sex worker ~ that’s the real happy ending. Happier than those made-for-tv-couples.

PS Just beware of the “Luxury Car Package,” fellas. Especially if that automobile is red.

Sunday Funnies: Dicks Pop Up Everywhere!

Peter Piper may have picked a peck of pickled peppers, but the poor bloke who picked this daisy doing the “loves me, loves me not” petal thing certainly got a surprise! Hey, flowers are the sex organs of plants, so you’d best take care when pulling there. *wink* Via.

loves me loves me not vintage card

sure enough pop up vintage valentine surprise

What Do Women Really Want for Valentine’s Day

valentine cardThe traditional flowers, candy, jewelry, cards, dinner, lingerie and love making don’t make the list for every woman. My own feelings about Valentine’s Day come from my romantic, sometimes practical nature along with a bit of contrariness and daring-do. Following is a list for my Valentine but may be helpful for other Valentines too.

Flowers

Flowers I’d like, if they still have roots. Cut flowers look great for awhile but I feel sad when I have to put them out to compost. I wouldn’t turn down cut flowers and I’d be really happy for a few days. So flowers are still a good choice and they look fresh and alive which is really what flowers are all about, I think.

Candy

Candy is trickier. First, I’m trying to avoid sugar and it isn’t easy because I enjoy chocolate, cheesecake and ice cream. A vanilla ice cream with swirls of chocolate and caramel… but, I know I shouldn’t think about such things.

Another problem with candy and sweets is finding something that really is good. So much of it is artificial and only looks good. Candy can be very disappointing. I’d just skip it and consider other Valentine ideas.

Jewelry

Jewelry is pricey, unless you found it or got it out of a bubble gum machine. So I don’t expect jewels for Valentine’s Day. Save those sparkling things for bigger events which have more meaning, like an anniversary of a wedding or a baby being born. Besides, you really would need to know just what I like to pick something I’d love when it comes to jewelry. I don’t think I’d want a guy I actually like to have that kind of pressure.

Valentine Card

A Valentine card is great. But, I like something just right. Not overly mushy with stuff you don’t really mean but thought sounded good when you read the card in the store. I like something only a little sentimental, something believable. What I really like about a card is a great personal and hand written message inside and a fabulous image or drawing on the outside. I love a card with red hearts, roses and other romantic things. Don’t forget the envelope – you can doodle hearts and flowers for extra romance.

Romantic Dinner

Dinner out is nice. But, not spectacular. Make me a dinner at home and I’d be far more impressed. Especially if you clean up before I get there so I don’t see the dirty pots, pans and hear the dishwasher still running in the background. A romantic dinner at home is great if you work at setting the mood. I don’t want to see dirty dishes, laundry, kids not in bed yet and start multi-tasking.

If you make dinner at home use a recipe you already know or have at least tried a couple of times. Consider something messy like spaghetti as a poor choice when both of you are likely to be dressed up and won’t like spots of sauce on your clothes. Something requiring extra tools, like crab legs, aren’t a great choice either. Keep it simple and work with ingredients you know. Beware of food allergies.

Lingerie

Lingerie is a pretty personal choice for a woman. Self esteem, body issues and confidence get all wrapped up in the choice of what we wear and what makes us feel sexy. Colour is important. Size matters. What you think would look great may be something she would never wear and if she did put it on to please you she may feel very unsexy. So lingerie, though it sounds like a good idea, may be too risky. If she is interested in Valentine lingerie – take her out for a shopping trip on Valentine’s Day. Let her pick something that you both can enjoy. Why not pick up something sexy for yourself too?

Love Making

The love making part should be about romance, making love and for me, I want the romance first. I want to feel appreciated and know I look hot to him. Women get in the mood in different ways. I like being the one in charge, leading and teasing and laughing. There have been cases of exhibitionism, flashing for fun and pleasure. But, if you want to get to the love making you need to find out what gets her to that point. Don’t wait for Valentine’s Day to find out. Talk together. You may get a lot more out of the conversation than you expect.

The Valentine card in this post comes from Etsy: VintageRecycling I looked at a lot of cards but this is the only one I really wanted to choose for myself.

Fancy Plate with Nude Woman

vintage nude plate

I don’t think it’s actually vintage. There is debate about exactly what that means. Vintage may refer to the style of plate, not it’s age.

Anyway, I can’t think of many family gatherings where I’d set these on the table. Created by Melody Rose, along with an espresso cup and saucer and a tea cup and saucer too. (I posted those to my own blog because I like pretty cups and saucers).

Romance In The Tub… Where Will It “End” Up?

Lust Cinema has a lot of sensual romance “packed” into this anal sex film which shows you how to have pain-free and pleasurable anal sex. It’s not often you see a romantic setting for anal, so kudos (again) to Lust Cinema for blending sex sex ed and romance into porn for couples. (Tip: For more soapy scenes at SK check here; also, see my man‘s collection of soapy nude pics here.)

romantic sexy bath time

anal is for lovers

What’s Behind Winter Romance?

hard-on heart on winter romanceDid you know that there’s an official “wedding engagement season”? Yup, in spite of the fact that it pisses Jezebel off (They get pissed off over the weirdest stuff.), roughly 40% of proposals occur between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day.

Many people like to credit the busy winter holiday season, with its mix of family togetherness and men too cheap to spring for a gift along with a ring, for the peak in “the wedding engagement season”. And I’m not the only one who says so:

Families are together, sparkly lights abound and people are in the mood to unwrap things.

And if a guy’s gonna pop the question eventually, he might as well use the opportunity to avoid shopping for a holiday gift and kill two birds with — ahem — one stone.

But maybe there’s another factor: cold weather.

A recent study (2008) revealed that heterosexual men are more sexually attracted to the female form in winter; Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller reports:

In this experiment, 114 heterosexual men between the ages of 16 and 53 rated the attractiveness of several women every three months over the course of about one year. Specifically, once per season, each man was asked to rate two sets of photos that appeared in a random order: one showing only women’s faces, and the other showing women’s bodies. The body photos consisted of either women in revealing bathing suits or close-up shots of women’s breasts.

The researchers found that men’s attraction to women’s faces did not change during the course of the year; however, their attraction to women’s bodies did, such that men reported being more attracted to women’s bodies and breasts during the winter months compared to the summer months. Furthermore, men who were in the same romantic relationship over the course of the entire study reported similar fluctuations in how attracted they were to their partner. Specifically, guys tended to think that their partners were hotter in the winter than in the summer.

Lehmiller also provides other studies which seem to back up these findings, and speculates as to why this may occur:

Think of it this way: because everyone is showing a lot of skin during summer, the bar for what qualifies as “hot” is set higher; in the winter, skin is rarely seen, so it becomes more novel and arousing to look at. The fact that facial ratings didn’t change supports this idea. Given that people tend to see faces all year round, the standard of facial comparison is always pretty constant. An alternative possibility is that men’s hormone levels fluctuate seasonally, and perhaps this is what accounts for their differing patterns of attraction.

What I find most remarkable is that the biological reasons for this are missing from this discussion of seasonal human behavior.

An obvious place to begin is with all the fertility discussions surrounding keeping a man’s junk cool in order to increase testosterone, sperm count, and sperm mobility. Perhaps the natural “keeping it cool” factor of winter weather is part of a greater biological design for species survival.

erotic nude woman in snowWhether you are talking about foraging or farming, it makes sense that our early ancestors would have less movement, less work, during the colder months. Since human offspring require such a long maturity time, hunkering down in one space makes it easier and safer to take care of vulnerable infants. This way, more children (and their mothers) are likely to survive and be strong enough to thrive when warmer weather increases work and mobility.

Males being more in the mood for sex during such colder weather would lead not only to the creation of more offspring due to arrive at the start of the next cold season, the optimal time to raise them, but such intimacies (sex and continued proximity) would better assist in forming relationship bonds as well.

So maybe it’s simply a biological imperative, a drive that comes with cold weather, which explains why hetero men, despite all their complaints, are so willing to put up with Valentine’s Day. If Saint Valentine had been assigned a date for his feast in, say, June, perhaps the so-called “Hallmark holiday” would not have fared as well.

 

There’s No Such Thing As BDSM Romance? More BDSM Myth-information

I am deeply conflicted about this post, Publishers, Authors and BDSM…, by Mary of Mary’s Menage Whispers. Especially with regards to the following statements:

It seems that authors and publishers easily forget that in BDSM, SM means Sado Maso. Sado Maso is NOT romantic. In fact, living the lifestyle is NOT romantic too.

Fact: Whoever says there is no romance in BDSM has not seen the film Secretary.

Perhaps what also muddles this for Mary, and others, is misunderstanding the fact that the “S” & “M” in BDSM can mean multiple things. BDSM is complicated and layered like that. (We’ve written a book about just that.)

sex kitten bdsm bookSo who is Mary or anyone else to say what any person’s definition of any letter, or it’s related kinks, in BDSM really is?

But Mary is worried.

So why am I so obsessed on the label “BDSM”? Because it portrays a wrong information to women. They will may enter in the lifestyle and will be badly burned because hey! they read a BDSM story and in the BDSM story it was okay to do this or that. Predators will LOVE them. They will jump on them like vultures with fresh meat.

She says she’s worried about women being victimized in the BDSM scene based on anecdotal evidence; a personal story here, a news story there. But what really seems be be going on here is the perpetuation of the myth that women are victims to be preyed upon. That BDSM myth, while rampant, is just that ~ a myth. Since Mary believes in Wikipedia so much (she links and quotes from it often in her post), here’s a fact listed at Wiki that she apparently missed:

Several studies on the correlation of BDSM pornography and the violence against women recapitulate that there is no correlation. Japan is a useful example: a country which has the lowest rate of sexual crimes of all industrialized nations while being well known for its comprehensive BDSM and bondage pornography (see Pornography in Japan).[66]

Mary’s assumptions about BDSM are not only incorrect, but insulting to women (who are potential victims) and men (as potential thugs) alike. *snort* We women can have our rape fantasies, the laws that protect us from actual rape, and our romantic BDSM stories too.

That might be enough ranting education for some, but while we are discussing this it’s important to note the whole issue of romance itself.

Romance, romantic notions, and the fairy tale notions it has inspired in many a person and our culture itself are far more dangerous than consensual BDSM play or BDSM lifestyle. The insidious, unexamined, unacknowledged, unrealistic and delusional expectations of romance has led to far more dangers, from those who would prey on another using romance as a lure to the daily lies in our lives; yet there are no cautionary words from Mary about such dangers. Not in her genre of menage romance (erotic stories of multiple men with one woman), not in romance in general ~ not even in the idea of fantasy itself.

I find it odd that a person who reads such stories doesn’t even bother to distinguish between the fantasies and realities of those stories. Surely there are dangers in menage scenes (just as there surely are BDSM elements inherent in menage stories of group sex ~ even if only in the power exchange play, not corporal punishment). Certainly there are legitimate concerns about the dangers of a woman being “alone” in a group of men. But Mary apparently has no problems giving the readers of menage romance erotica credit for being able to discern what is a fantasy and what is real life. Why isn’t she giving readers of BDSM stories, especially the female ones, credit for the same abilities?

Most people are aware of what is fantasy, what is real, and when the twain shall never meet. This is why books, films, phone sex, and the like exist; to allow us to safely entertain ourselves by delighting our genitalia, hearts, and the like by immersing ourselves in a fantasy which is all in our minds.

There are names for those who cannot separate fantasy from reality. Those names are not “submissive” or “Dominant,” not “Master” or “slave”, not “female readers of BDSM” or “women with fantasies of BDSM”. Those names for those who cannot separate fantasy from reality are the diagnosis of disorders and mental illnesses given by doctors and mental health professionals.