A Look Inside A Phone Sex Hobbyist’s Mind

When phone sex operator come phone sex consultant Lynn met Tom, a man with some pretty strong phone sex calling habits (he has over 500 phone sex operators in his list of favorites alone!), she dubbed him “Tom Cat”. Not long after that, she decided to put Tom Cat to some good use by giving him a phone sex review website called Tom Cat’s Phone Sex Reviews.

tom-cats-phone-sex-reviewsAs a former escort, I’ve long been familiar with hobbyists (or punters, as they are called in the UK), but I guess I never thought about the notion of phone sex hobbyists… This was my chance to meet one. Here’s my interview with Tom Cat.

Hi, Tom Cat, and welcome to Sex Kitten! Lynn has shared some information about you, and I’ve read the “about” at your site. And I gather you’ve read our previous phone sex discussions (part one, part two, part three). Do you have any comments to add to those discussions? Anything you want to make sure we know about you & your phone sex habits?

I guess the thing that I’d like to reinforce, that I also stated in the bio of my reviews, is that I consider my phone sex habits to be pretty vanilla, with a bent towards the curious. I see all these profiles that emphasize “no taboo”. I don’t see myself looking for those unusual, kinky things. I’m just looking to act out things that I typically WOULD do in real life.

In the previous interview/article that you did, the guys talked about imagining demons, animals, hybrids, etc. None of that for me. They fantasized about nuns in churches, etc. None of that for me. You might call my phone sex habits to be of the Penthouse Forum variety.

The transformations, where one or both participants undergo physical, emotional and sex drive changes due to some trigger (potion, spoken phrase, physical item, natural phenomenon (asteroid, lightening, chemical spill, etc.), is probably my only “unnatural fantasy”. But I’ve found websites (breastexpansionstorys, deviantart, etc) that reassure me that I am not alone, lol!

tom cat-phone-sex-masturbating-five-stars-300Do you also partake of other sex services, such as cam girls, escorts, etc?

As far as other services, I have used cam, escorts and strip clubs.

Is phone sex your primary sex service or adult entertainment service?

Phone sex is primary, strip clubs would be second. I haven’t used an escort services in nearly 5 years, but I’m on the fringe of one, using the “dating” website WhatsYourPrice.com. Since I’m paying money for the dates, I lump it into this same “entertainment” budget group.

You’ve mentioned that you feel you are addicted ~ do you mean to phone sex or sex in general or?

I’d have to say the addiction is to the phone sex and services….things that cost money. I just don’t exhibit self control to stop within a budget. I really don’t engage in much actual sex, and my masturbation rate varies from 3-10 times a week. Don’t have much to compare to, but I know I haven’t FUCKED anybody in roughly 15 years…

Why do you use phone sex?

Why I use phone sex feels more complicated to me than the answers that I read in your other article. I felt that theme was the men (and women) saying that it was a natural, useful outlet to meet sexual needs when partners are unavailable (physically or emotionally). For me, it fills more of a void, and in some ways, it’s an unhealthy void. I may not feel that way if I was able to limit myself to a few PSOs. I consider it to be an addiction for me and members of my family would agree, lol!

One of the points that IS emphasized by your previous panel is the importance of setting a budget. I’m not very good at that. I live an almost paycheck to paycheck existence because of my desire to talk to “attractive” women on the phone.

phone sex flirt girl next door kaylaHow many PSOs do you call a week?

How many PSOs I call kind of depends on how “active” I am. I go through periods of HIGH activity (15 calls per week to 4-12 PSOs) to a lull of no PSO calls for 4-6 weeks (or longer) if I “tighten the budget”.

What are some of the specific fantasies you look for in phone entertainment?

I mentioned my transformation fantasy. I really use my calls for one or more of three purposes:

Strictly socializing, talking about our real lives. Engaging in role play sex, which includes the transformations role plays. And straight descriptive mutual masturbation, which would include the mutual intoxication.

And, as much as I agree with the previous panel that fulfilling the man’s needs is the ultimate purpose of a phone sex call, I myself am less satisfied and fulfilled if the woman hasn’t cum. It may or may not be real, but that’s my ultimate pleasure.

In looking at your reviews, it definitely seems you have a type! Busty & blonde! How important are such physical characteristics for you in terms of a phone sex call?

How important are the physical characteristics in terms of phone sex? That’s a really great question. In part, because I understand the fantasy part of phone sex. The person that I’m speaking with may or may NOT actually look like the pictures on the profile. That said, I still can’t get past the psychological hurdle that I like what I like and I want to fantasize about attractive, buxom women (the blonde isn’t as important to me, but most of the profiles DO seem to skew that way, don’t they, lol).

At the same time, once I’ve MADE a call, if the PSO is engaging, funny, a good conversationalist, I’ll call even if the appearance ISN’T in line with “my usual”. I have had short “flings” with some BBW that I found delightful to talk to and there’s currently a “smaller chested” PSO on Niteflirt that I love flirting with over the phone…haven’t even gone any further into the sexual aspect than that.

So, to try and summarize, the physical image is what attracts me to make the initial calls, but I also keep my eyes open for other characteristics that appeal to me and entertain me.

cum slut pso barbiewildHow difficult is it for you to continue to find busty & blonde PSOs?

Busty blonde or otherwise, there never seems to be a drought of new girls joining Niteflirt and Secondhand Rose has introduced me to MyPhoneSite, so I’m exploring there as well. Finding more never seems to be a problem.

You mention the lull period is 4 – 6 weeks; I have a few questions about that… When you abstain from phone sex, do you also cease other sex services? How long are the periods where you using phone sex (or sex services)?

My lulls are primarily financially driven. I over extend myself and have to “tighten the belt” to rebuild the reserves. So it is all sex services that come at a cost. And in all honesty, there’s also some morality involved, a feeling of “this is not the right way to have relationships with women”, “You know better than this”, “What would/will your parents/kids/friends/coworkers say about this behavior”. That also contributes to the lull.

The activity itself kinda lasts as long as the money holds out. This most recent period has lasted around 8 months.

phone sex dominance with mistress candiceSince you are so into specific looks, do you also belong to paysites, have a large video collection?

Interestingly, I do not belong to pay sites. The videos, while satisfying the visual stimulation, don’t fulfill the conversational, intellectual or pseudo-relational needs that I find addressed with the more “real-time” in person sex services. I think this is fairly consistent with the initial articles that you did.

Why have you started the review site?

I guess trying to feel better about myself by giving back to people. To the PSOs by trying to help them generate incremental business, to other customers by directing them to more quality services and to fill a need that Lynn felt was lacking.

Does doing the reviews help during the “lulls”, or is it more of a trigger?

Well, we’ll have to see, lol, since the reviews are relatively new and I’m just hitting the first “lull” since starting the reviews. My initial feeling is that it’s a bit of a trigger, in that it makes me long for the connection and relationships with the PSOs that I call most often.

sexy jc glamour girl on cam and phone sexHow important are reviews (or feedback and ratings) to you when you look for phone sex services?

Reviews are important to me. As I’ve mentioned before, I know that not all the pictures are legit, so I want to know if the person can carry on a good conversation. I look for issues in the feedback like, “not very responsive”, “only wanted things her way” , “didn’t seem that into it”.

What are the biggest problems you find in terms of looking for quality phone sex services?

Hmmm, biggest problem. Outside of the cost (I know how I would spend money if I won the lottery, lol!), the only other thing that I can think of is the availability of the PSO that you enjoy using the most. They may or may not have a regular online schedule. You may not have made a specific “plan” for catching up again.

Beyond that, the hit and miss of talking to someone to see if there’s a fit, some chemistry. That may be a burden to some, but it’s a part that I enjoy.

And maybe that’s why I’m doing the reviews. Trying to help others avoid the initial “difficult” situation of sifting through several calls to find the phone sex operator(s) they want.

Thanks, Tom Cat, for sharing with us.

Images of PSOs here are of some of Tom Cat’s 4 Star and 5 Star phone sex operators (in order shown): Naughty Kayla (review here), Barbie Wild (review here), Mistress Candace (review here) and Sexy JC (review here).

Is Sex Addiction Real? New Study Says It’s Just An Active Libido …

See on Scoop.itLet’s Get Sex Positive

UCLA researchers recently wrote a report of their research in the journal Socioaffective Neuroscience and Psychology stating that they have determined that sexual addiction is nothing more than having a highly active libido.

See on scicraze.blogspot.com

The Digital Distilling Of Pleasures

Via Shawnee at Dames Of Chance, I found another guy all worked-up about addictions, including sex additions ~ and porn on the Internet. Shawnee’s response about covers mine; see also her post on behavioral addictions.