Satisfying Women Sexually May Be Complicated, But It Creates Male Superheros

Every once and awhile, sex studies align like planets to produce a clear sign. This week, it’s all about female orgasms. Hip-hip-whore-ay!

The first study to hit my news-feed was from the Indiana University, Chapman University, and Claremont Graduate University which announced that straight women have fewest orgasms. If you are a straight woman, this likely does not surprise you.

The fact that lesbian women orgasmed more often than heterosexual women indicates that many heterosexual women could experience higher rates of orgasm.

Which is a really nice way of saying that men are not always the best lovers. Again, if you are a straight woman this likely doesn’t surprise you.

The second bit I found in my news-feed may help: Apparently There are 12 Female Orgasms:

Cliteral Orgasm
Vaginal/G-Spot Orgasm
Blended Orgasm
Multiple Orgasms
Anal Orgasm
Sleep-Gasm (a.k.a ‘Snore-gasm’)
Cervical Orgasm
U-Spot Orgasm
A-Spot Orgasm
Nipple Orgasm
Expanded Sexual Response

It’s not just the use of the word “apparently” which indicates the number and variation of female orgasms is news to many ~ but the reactions to it.

Reactions from too many women and men was astonishment. Many men rather blew off the notion with snide little comments about how complicated female sexuality is. Your ignorance is showing, gents! (You can hide it in jokes, gents, but we still know your ignorance ~ and even resentment is there!) And while it would be really easy for me to dive down that rabbit hole of male ignorance, I won’t. Not so much because I am nice (You likely know better! *wink*), but because if I get caught up in such talk, heterosexual women will continue to be less satisfied in bed. And I can’t stand that idea! So, I will avoid that rabbit hole of male shame and get down to the business of making women’s holes happier.

However, it seems that male ego may just be the key here to women’s happiness!

Research suggests that women’s orgasms may function as a masculinity achievement for men. Yup, you read that right; hetrosexual men feel better about themselves when they can make women come. As clinical psychologist & sex therapist Dr. David J. Ley noted in a tweet, getting a woman to orgasm makes a man feel like a superhero.

To all the men out there who feel confused and down-right confounded on how to pleasure a woman ~ let alone in a dozen ways ~ take this apparently surprising news and turn it into a challenge. Learn how to please a woman ~ and earn that superhero cape!

It’s not just you, your ego, and your dick which will grow with pride either. You and your partner will grow closer, and the amount of sex you have will also grow. It really is a win-win.

Need some help? Some sex ed tips to help you improve your lady’s sex life? Dick Dojo has an entire video series on the subject ~ and, from now through March 12, 2017, their Bedroom Black Belt Series of ebooks are free!

The course covers everything from cock control (so you don’t experience premature ejaculation) to making the most of your mouth and hands. It’s Kung Fu for your cock ~ and sure to help you feel like a sexual superhero. But you may have to put the cape on by yourself; if you’ve earned it, she’ll be too tired to help. *wink*

Flashback Friday: Eek! He’ll See Me Nude!

Circa 2004, comes this bit of body image sex positivity

I don’t know what all the fuss is about, kids, but lately Gracie has received some emails from women ~ frantic women who are worried about how they look in bed to their partners.

Read it for what’s more likely to be going on in your partner’s head than your fears.

What To Bring To Your Sexual Hook Up

With fuck buddy dating exploding online, more people than ever before are at least talking about hooking up for sex. Whether you want to call it a fuck buddy, hooking up, a casual encounter, or a one night stand, increased discussion and access means you might be entertaining the idea of an exciting hook-up with someone new ~ rather than settling for a late night booty call to an ex.

But while there’s little pressure with your ex, meeting Mr. or Ms. Right For The Night brings some added pressures… Including wondering about just what you should bring along to your sex with no strings date. And who better to know what to bring along for a sexual encounter than an escort?

what escorts keep in their kits you should bring on your hook upEvery sex worker worth their rate has their own “go bag” or “tick kit” they bring along on their dates. Here’s a list of what’s inside.

Condoms. Practicing safe sex is pretty damn vital. Everyone should bring condoms to the party ~ preferably an unopened box, so everyone feels good about them. While it’s true that your hook-up partner might prefer a specific brand (which you likely will know nothing of), you are responsible for your own health and should bring your own condoms so that there’s no excuse or temptation to forego safe sex.

Other Types Of Protection. Yes, we have to include the matter of safety on your date. While this is typically thought of as pepper spray, a stun gun, or even a firearm, protection can be as easy as your cellphone. The most important things to know about protection is that, if you pack more than a phone, make sure it’s legal to possess in that location and that you know how to use it.

Wipes. Cleaning up before as well as after sex is a necessity. But often the location of your casual sex date may not have a full bath, soap, and towels available for your use. Before the creation of Wild Wipes, the easiest, most portable means of pre and post-coital clean-up was a pack of baby wipes.

Refreshments. Bottled water is super important for maintaining hydration, especially for rigorous activities. *wink* Pros always have beverages in their kits, for even if there should be running water where you are, there may not be any cups readily available. Also, don’t forget the traditional toiletries, such as toothbrush and toothpaste, mouthwash, chewing gum, deodorant, hairbrush, makeup, tampons, etc.

The Sexy Stuff. If you enjoy or require a vibrator, strap-on, or other sex toy to get off, bring it! A casual sex date is no time to deny your needs! Bring the proper lube too. If you and your date discussed anything specific, such as lingerie, costumes or other clothing; handcuffs or other fetish gear; whipped cream or other edibles; candles ~ you get the idea; pack that in your bag too.

Clothing: You and your fuck buddy may only be spending an hour or so together, so packing another entire outfit may not be necessary. However, keeping a clean pair of undies in your kit is wise. Not only because your date may want a souvenir, but because clean and dry panties (or underwear, as the case may be) are far more comfortable for the drive or walk home ~ or wherever you are going next.

The Truth & Nothing But The Truth About Online Dating

Vintage dating romance and marriage 1940sWhen it comes to online dating, both men and women are accused of lying ~ about everything from how they look, to their relationship status. Since dating can be emotional and stressful all by itself, the additional worry about whether or not a person is intentionally misrepresenting themselves makes many folks jaded. But becoming so jaded that you assume everyone is lying doesn’t help matters either.

But are people lying?

Sometimes people simply have a view of themselves that is askew. Some even sabotage themselves as a twisted means of self-protection. Which is why once you’ve written your dating profile, you should have a friend give it the once-over to see how accurately it depicts you.

But probably the biggest offense in online dating is when a person is not honestly representing their dating intentions. Are they looking for casual companionship, a life-long companion, or just a sexual companion for the night? This information is often the first screening criteria used by most online daters to avoid all sorts of complications & unpleasantries. And you know what I am talking about, all the craziness that can happen when one person thinks there’s a relationship and the other thought everything was super casual…. Someone gets called a liar. Or worse.

But this imbalance or upset isn’t necessarily due to outright lying. Often it’s because people haven’t been honest enough with themselves regarding their needs and desires. It’s something I ran into time and time again back in my escorting days… Oh, the number of times a man felt obligated to have sex ~ because he thought he’d disappoint if he didn’t!

It would have been simpler, less stressful, and more enjoyable for everyone if he’d been honest about just wanting a date so he wouldn’t have to go dinner and a movie alone. But, sadly, that sort of introspection and self-awareness is often lacking.

One night stand thank you cardDon’t make that sort of mistake. Know your dating intentions. Are you on a serious mission to find your one and only true love, so that the two of you can ride-off into the monogamous sunset together? Are you happily playing the field, viewing dating as a casual form of social entertainment? Are you simply looking for sex, the proverbial one night stand? Maybe you’re looking for The One ~ but you’re willing to play along the way… Whatever your desires, know them and communicate them.

And find the right dating site too.

Many of the numerous online dating websites are dedicated to specific audiences. Not only religious affiliations or sexual orientations, but in terms of your dating intentions and sexual interests as well. XXX Sex Guides reviews dating sites, including breaking down the dating sites by categories to help you find others seeking the same sort of relationship that you are.

But still, no matter what dating site you use, if your dating intention isn’t made clear, you can’t blame other interested parties for making assumptions of their own to fill in that blank. And those assumptions are as good as lies, leading to an uncomfortable ~ or even a terrible ~ experience.

So, to avoid some seriously bad times, you ought to make your intentions clear in your online dating profile. And when viewing the dating profiles of others, if you don’t see a clear intention ~ ask!

Image Credits: Vintage dating booklets; one night stand thank you note.


2 Minutes Or Less? Women Need More Than That

Kinsey said 3/4 of men ejaculate within two minutes, but this guy says it’s only about 45%, while most women need 5 – 7 minutes to really get going. While this doesn’t necessarily mean that premature ejaculation is in play it still means that there’s in incongruity between the two halves regarding how long sex should last.

As the article above said, going too long isn’t that great, either: vaginas aren’t designed for marathon pounding, so don’t think that longer is better either.

So, the goal is that 5 to 7 minute range — and it’s about control, not ‘on’ or ‘off’. Here’s some things to try:


End That Sex Rut: Be Prepared

Bound For Pleasure ~ Unless You Don't Have It Where You Need It

Erotic fantasies may begin in the brain, but if you want them to be carried out by your flesh, you’ll need to be prepared. If you want to have sex outside of the bedroom, ask yourself if you’ve made plans for sex elsewhere. And that doesn’t mean whining about it. Stop complaining about the same old sex in the same old place and plan for it to happen. Keeping a discrete stash of lube and sex toys in the places where you want to have sex means when the mood and opportunity arise, you’re ready.

Boy Scout or not, it’s best to be prepared. Here are some tips your Scout Master may not have told you about.

Whatever the room, keep things accessible. In the living room, along with drawers and secret stash pillows, there are the usual boxes and trunks which fit under the sofa. Bathrooms, kitchens (Yes, kitchens; remember Bill Murray in Stripes in the kitchen with the utensils?), laundry rooms, etc. all have drawers, closets, and cupboards. Garages have hide-y holes and the car has (at least) a glove box. If you’ve go kids, you’ve got nosy kids; so make sure you keep things discreet, but accessible. Many vibes and toys are far from obvious now. They can pretty much hide in plain sight. Plus, somethings, like silk binding sashes, are pretty innocuous to begin with. But you need them where and when you need them.

If you want sex in the shower; keep some lube and waterproof toys in the bathroom. Lube is most important; water is so not lube! Not to mention that many of the new adult toys for the shower are discreet ~ nearly incognito!

If your sex fantasies involve more public places, keep a small bottle of lube in your purse, those packets of lube or lubed condoms in your wallet. Lube is vital, for while your mind is feeding off the fear, building the fantasy, the body may need a little coaxing ~ especially when you have to do it quick to get away with it. Women may not get wet enough for the quick poke; men may need a few strokes of encouragement. Bonus Tip: If you’re planning to enact an anal rape fantasy scene in an alley or something, apply plenty of lube before the drive to your destination.

When you travel, remember your props. Say you’re traveling to Pacific Northwest, recreating the romance and lust of Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, don’t forget to bring along the toys and tools featured in the novel. Although you might feel sheepish knowing that someone at airport security knows your dirty little secrets, that’s nothing compared to the shame of missed opportunities to go around the world while literally going around the world.