As promised, and teased in my interview, here’s my review of Wild Wipes. Actually, my man, CR/LF of Sex Is A Red-Blooded Thing, gave the wipes a try too. Why not; he has different equipment than I ~ and since sex would be involved, he was eager. *wink* While we await his official product review, I’m going to include his side of the story (from my perspective, of course!) as it is part of the story.
Since Wild Wipes are advertised for use both before & after sex, we began our intimate session by cleaning ourselves with the wipes before we each “slipped into something more comfortable” and met in the boudoir. Hey, you have to allow a little mystery, even in a decade-plus long monogamous relationship!
Wild Wipes are individually wrapped in little packets. CR/LF thought the little packets were tricky to open ~ but if you use the handy little “tear at” cut located at the bottom of each pack, it’s super easy. (See where fingernail is at side of package in photo.)
Once removed and unfolded, the wipes are roughly the size of your hand, and not unlike the baby wipes I am familiar with from my escorting days. But they weren’t those wipes; they were new…
Wipe in hand, I shouted to CR/LF from the bathroom, “OK, I’m about to give it a try… But I’m nervous…”
“OK, here’s the thing. The package says ‘external use only’…”
CR/LF was all like, “Huh? Then don’t insert it!” ~ laughing at me.
And I was all like, “Umm, have you ever touched a woman before?” because, as anyone really familiar with female genitalia will know, when you wipe lady parts, there’s an opening. Hell, you ladies know what I mean; even if you wipe as doctors will tell you to, from front to back, you’re gonna run into, well, yourself. You can say you’re only going to wipe about the lips, but that’s not necessarily the only part you’ll hit. But I took a deep breath and took the plunge ~ only doing my best not to plunge, if you know what I mean. I waited a minute or two, and when I felt nothing was on fire or anything, I slipped the nightie on and went to meet him in the bedroom.
I won’t give you the blow-by-blow of our sex session, but I will tell you that the wipes did not negatively impact our sex. Not even our oral sex sessions. Other than my nose being on hyper-vigilant-reviewer-duty and so detecting a very slight scent, there was nothing to note. It must be mentioned that there was no noticeable taste or other ill-effects on the tongue or mouth. Nor did the wipes seem to impact our intercourse at all. Once we both reached orgasmic bliss (three times for me!), it was time to see how Wild Wipes would fare with the post-sex cleanup.
As I mentioned before, I do have some internal parts which I feared would come in contact with the wipes. That opening, just having been so pleasingly pounded, was now a bit more, well, not quite gaping, but certainly more open than usual. And, if you’re having sex without a condom, as we were, there remains the matter of where that load of cum is… In this case, in my pussy, as God intended. *wink* Which brings us back to the matter of avoiding internal contact…
When we women clean up after sex, we aren’t just worried about addressing our dainty feminine juices ~ we want to remove that load that was deposited. (For that reason, along with the medically advised emptying of the bladder before and after sex to help flush any bacteria out and so avoid a urinary tract infection, we women make those trips to the bathroom to empty out & clean up after sex.) Wild Wipes won’t really help with that whole mess. …Unless you wait awhile for it to ooze out by itself. Which is what I did. However, my worries proved, again, to be unfounded. Cleanup with the Wild Wipes was relatively easy ~ as well as safe and gentle.
For those with concerns, the ingredients are listed on the product packaging as: Water, Propylene Glycol, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice, Potassium Sorbate, Tocopherol, Quaternium-52, PEG-60 Lanolin, Citric Acid, Disodium EDTA, Fragrance. These ingredients are relatively safe, not only commonly found in other wet wipe hygiene products, but in many other personal care items. Including “natural” varieties. Chances are that if you are sensitive to any of these ingredient, you know them already; if not, I wouldn’t consider them problematic unless you are using the wipes excessively.
First product claim met successfully.
Other product claims are that Wild Wipes have a “fresh eucalyptus-spearmint scent” and “will leave you feeling clean and refreshed.” To properly discuss those issues, I’ll begin with CR/LF’s initial description of the wipes.
Since I don’t worry about hand towels being used to wipe up after sex (that’s what laundry is all about), and since he’s never been a sex professional who is well-practiced in using baby wipes as quick way to wash up before leaving a date, CR/LF is pretty used to just using a towel. So the whole idea reminded him “of those little wet naps you are given at restaurants after you have chicken or ribs”.
I can tell you, other than being portable wipes, Wild Wipes have nothing in common with those restaurants wet naps or moist towelettes. Wild Wipes are far softer ~ both to the touch and in scent. It seems to me, that all the moist towelettes are primarily rough alcohol pads, that scratch my skin and sting my nose ~ on their way to drying out my skin. Wild Wipes do not do any of that terrible stuff.
In comparison to baby wipes, Wild Wipes also come out ahead.
A tad larger than a business card or credit card, the individual packs of Wild Wipes fit neatly in your pocket or wallet; certainly more discreet, and sexier, than lugging a tub of baby or toilet wipes around. Since Wild Wipes come in individual packets, each wipe remains wet until you open it to use it. Also, many of us who have changed diapers now associate the smell of baby wipes (or any “baby changing” scents, like baby powder) with the smell of poop. Ditto the scents of wet toilet wipes. Not ideal for intimate encounters. Or for feeling clean. The importance of the issue of scents cannot be overstated enough. We women have up to 50% more olfactory neurons in our brains, so we notice smells. Especially gross smells. (Hint: That’s why you may need to use a Wild Wipe before sex, especially if you want a blowjob.) Wild Wipes, however, have a very light and non-offensive scent. More claims met.
While that all rather addresses the product claims of being discrete, the major discretion factor is the easy disposal: Wet Wipes are both biodegradable and flushable, so no messy evidence remains. Another claim met.
Findings: Wild Wipes intimate wipes meet or exceed all their product claims.
While I personally wouldn’t use Wild Wipes after every sexual encounter, I do find them excellent for travel. Not that I give a whit about what hotel employees may think of my sex life; but I do question the cleanliness of hotel towels… Perhaps even more importantly, especially with the holiday season upon us, I would prefer to use Wild Wipes when on holiday at my parents’ house, staying with family members, vacationing at a friend’s cabin, etc.. I’m not one to give up sex. I’ll do my best to be quiet; but I won’t go without it!
In cases of visiting family & friends, these wipes are a far more discreet option than presenting your hosts with a pile of dirty towels. (Even the opened packets can safely be tucked in a pocket, purse, or suitcase until you sneakily dispose of them so your mom won’t see them in the garbage as there is no liquid in the empty package to leak.)
However, being a lady who has condom-less sex with her partner (plus the whole bladder thing) means I will still need to make those post-coitus furtive trips to the bathroom to really be sure I’m clean.
I did not try the wipes on any of my sex toys; I would recommend using tested sex toy cleaning products for that.
While I did receive four individual packets of Wild Wipes to review, this did not impact providing a fair product review.
Again, you can get free shipping on Wild Wipes using code “sexkitten”.