Bloody Bad Period Sex Misinformation

So, according to Dr. Dee Fenner, MD, there’s been no study on this factoid I’m about to talk about ~ but the “news” has been making the rounds on sex blogs as if it were actually the results of a new study.

Newsflash: Having orgasmic sex while menstruating will end your period sooner.


Dr. Fenner ~ who is Director of Gynecology, Director of Surgical Services, and a Professor in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of Michigan, says the reason, quite obviously, is that “menstrual blood in the uterus is squeezed out during orgasm.”

Normally this is where I would begin ranting about studies informing us of things we already know ~ but, remember, this wasn’t a study finding. In fact, it wasn’t even a study. And that’s rather what my rant would be about: How infrequently studies are made about women’s health, female sexuality, and the like. Cuz, you know, men’s bodies & their ability to get off is always paramount. There are plenty more studies about men, their bods, their health.

However, it should be noted that there have indeed been women’s health studies about coitus and menstruation.

This 1989 study found that “sex during menstruation appeared to increase the chances of endometriosis but not of PID (pelvic inflammatory disease).”

This 1996 study, for example, did find that intercourse during menses may cause heavier bleeding ~ which may leave perimenopausal women more vulnerable to hysterectomies.

This 2011 study concluded that “coitus during menses could be a predisposing factor for endometriosis.”

I’m not a doctor. I don’t even play one on TV. But I don’t think you need to be alarmist about these studies. Though if you have a family history or other concerns regarding these health concerns, discuss with your doctor the fact that you’re having, or would like to have, sex while on your period. I do, however, think such information on such studies ought to be included in articles and posts about sex while having your period.

Aside from the lack of any mention of these studies, what stood out the most in the article where I spotted this recently-dropped knowledge was this bit on the benefits of having sex while on your period:

Having sex while on your period immediately brings you closer together. Having sex during this ‘no-go’ time is a bold move – and one that can cement your bond.

Yes, if you really want to fuck while menstruating, go ahead. Breaking such a simple & silly taboo can bring you & your partner closer together. Like most any consensual intimate act, the willingness to “go there” can do wonders for your relationship.

Then again, it could be that couples having sex during menses do so precisely because they already feel close to one another.

Which is the cause, which is the effect?

But before I could get too caught up in that question, the article went on to ruin everything by tacking-on this bit:

From trying new positions, to experimenting with different moves – after period sex, you’ll notice that you’re far more willing to engage in new things in the bedroom.

Really?! Now this reads like a thinly-concealed “why you should have sex with her while she’s on the rag” piece. It’s all about convincing couples that doing it on the rag means a woman should want to do more wild things now. You know that old, “I’ll wade into the red river, if…” stuff. *snort*

I know I shouldn’t be surprised. Far too many articles are slanted this way…

But come on now!

Ladies, if you don’t want to do it when you’re on the rag, no need to be coy or polite; just say, “Thank you, but no.”

But, ladies, let me also tell you this: If you want to shorten the duration of your menstruation (not to mention relieve your cramps or change your mood via a fantastic orgasm!), you need not a man nor any partner for this ~ just masturbate yourself to orgasm! Yes, this is a real thing. Science confirms it. From that 1996 study on coitus & menstruation:

Female orgasm appeared to be the trigger for uterine contractions in this species. Sexually related uterine contractions occurred with or without the presence of penile intromission, provided the female showed evidence of sexual climax through the acceleration of her heart rate and subsequent species-typical facial expressions.

So let the orgasmic bliss of menstruation masturbation lead you to a more intimate place with yourself. Maybe you’ll love yourself more. Maybe you’ll become more willing to experiment with yourself sexually. Maybe you won’t. And that’s OK too. Don’t pressure yourself like some bad sex article might.

Image Credits: “I Love Period Sex” Sex Cum Rag Handtowel from The Love Rug Shop; Shark Week No Sex For You Low Rise Cheeky Boyshort Panties from Tee Shirt Cafe.

Flashback Friday: Eek! He’ll See Me Nude!

Circa 2004, comes this bit of body image sex positivity

I don’t know what all the fuss is about, kids, but lately Gracie has received some emails from women ~ frantic women who are worried about how they look in bed to their partners.

Read it for what’s more likely to be going on in your partner’s head than your fears.

Nut Sack Backpack

I don’t think this is what you give someone who’s been nice all year. This is only for the naughty boys or girls. If I did give this to someone (no one I can think of) I would just wait to see if they ever dared to take it out in public.

To be honest, I would not want this in public, unless it was an adult party with like-minded people. I wouldn’t bring it myself. Just too much man for me!

Source: The Scrote ‘n’ Tote Nut Sack Backpack You Can Buy. For Reals. – if it’s hip, it’s here

In Which Am Tagged & I Grudgingly Respond

really neat blog awardOur lovely Darla gave me a Really Neat Blog Award, which means I have been tagged to respond to some questions. [:Cough: ~ You can blame Darla for the lack of Hot Flash Fiction Friday this week! (A girl only has so much time!)]

Normally, I eschew these sorts of things ~ but it is Darla, and I love her. So, here we go…

What colours do you like to wear to feel sexy, and why?

Red. And black. Red because science has proven that men respond sexually to it. Most importantly, my man does, and I like to please him (within reason, of course). And black because it goes with everything, including red, so I don’t need to fuss too much on busy days (of which I have a lot these days).

You have an unlimited budget and no figure flaws to consider – describe a sexy outfit you’d like to wear.

If price were no object, I would consider some sort of outrageous bespoke haute couture. I’ve nothing specific in mind, mind you; but if I were gifted such funds, I would find myself suddenly interested in being specific.

Even if you only walk from the shower to your bedroom… what do you like about walking around nude?

This is a rather odd question! I’ve never really thought about it before…

I guess the most significant thing about being nude is the relative freedom of it. I love to sleep in the nude, because that’s the most natural and unencumbered way for me to sleep. But, that’s not walking around. And, honestly, the power of nudity for nudity’s sake (not something for tease or the set (un)dressing for sex, lies in the nude walk from shower to bedroom before getting dressed… Before the artifice and glamour of dressing begins. It’s like the calm before the elegant storm, the white canvas before you create, the quiet natural moments before you begin to create an illusion ~ all which is rather designed to get you in the nude again. *wink*

Is sex more mental or physical for you, how/ why?

I’d like to be all lovely-dovey for y’all, but the older I get, the more sex becomes blissfully physical. Not to diminish the fact that I happily reside in a lovely monogamous relationship. I’m sure that it and the emotional connection, trust, etc. that it brings are all big parts of it. But the older I get, the easier I cum and the more intense my orgasms are too. I’m sure there are plenty who wish it was this way for them. Don’t let folks or commercials fool you into believing it’s not possible. It is.

What is/ was the best thing about your favourite sexual partner so far?

OK, after down-playing the emotional stuff earlier, I suppose it’s only fair to play up the physical aspects here as well…

The best thing is his willingness to please. Actually, it is not just a “willingness”, but a dedication to it. I always cum first ~ at least once, and possibly squirting too ~ before he has his own orgasm. As for specific tricks, well, there are a number of them; but any individual’s mileage will vary. (And no, he is not available for a road test!)

Did you tell him or her at the time, or ever?

Yes, I tell him.

All. The. Time. *wink*

Now for part two of this award…

Part two is to nominate or tag five others to answer some questions of my own. Given that I had trouble squeezing this in myself, I doubt anyone else I know who is not already tag has time to be “it”, so I will leave this open as a challenge for anyone who is interested. (Go ahead, call me a “party pooper.” Every party has one. And I’ve been called worse. *wink*)

Should you wish to participate, here are my relatively random questions:

Whipped cream in a can, non-dairy topping in a tub, or ala mode? (And, yeah, we’re talking sex play here, not a topping on the kind of pie you’d get at a diner.) Elaborate. *wink*

So, you’re a sex blogger, or at least a blogger not afraid to be here and respond to such questions… If you’re in a serious or committed relationship, which came first: the blog or your relationship? If you’re not in a serious relationship, one day you might be; when and how do you fancy divulging your blogging vice?

Would you rather be a superhero or a villain? Why?

What’s worse: marketing your blog or marketers contact you for freebie posts at your site?

What’s the worst/rudest/nosiest question you’ve ever been asked that you refused to blog about? And will you answer it now? *wink*

Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness: The Wild Wipes Review

As promised, and teased in my interview, here’s my review of Wild Wipes. Actually, my man, CR/LF of Sex Is A Red-Blooded Thing, gave the wipes a try too. Why not; he has different equipment than I ~ and since sex would be involved, he was eager. *wink*  While we await his official product review, I’m going to include his side of the story (from my perspective, of course!) as it is part of the story.

Since Wild Wipes are advertised for use both before & after sex, we began our intimate session by cleaning ourselves with the wipes before we each “slipped into something more comfortable” and met in the boudoir. Hey, you have to allow a little mystery, even in a decade-plus long monogamous relationship!

tear-line-on-wild-wipes-packageWild Wipes are individually wrapped in little packets. CR/LF thought the little packets were tricky to open ~ but if you use the handy little “tear at” cut located at the bottom of each pack, it’s super easy. (See where fingernail is at side of package in photo.)

Once removed and unfolded, the wipes are roughly the size of your hand, and not unlike the baby wipes I am familiar with from my escorting days. But they weren’t those wipes; they were new…

Wipe in hand, I shouted to CR/LF from the bathroom, “OK, I’m about to give it a try… But I’m nervous…”


“OK, here’s the thing. The package says ‘external use only’…”

CR/LF was all like, “Huh? Then don’t insert it!” ~ laughing at me.

how-to-open-wild-wipesAnd I was all like, “Umm, have you ever touched a woman before?” because, as anyone really familiar with female genitalia will know, when you wipe lady parts, there’s an opening.  Hell, you ladies know what I mean; even if you wipe as doctors will tell you to, from front to back, you’re gonna run into, well, yourself. You can say you’re only going to wipe about the lips, but that’s not necessarily the only part you’ll hit. But I took a deep breath and took the plunge ~ only doing my best not to plunge, if you know what I mean. I waited a minute or two, and when I felt nothing was on fire or anything, I slipped the nightie on and went to meet him in the bedroom.

I won’t give you the blow-by-blow of our sex session, but I will tell you that the wipes did not negatively impact our sex. Not even our oral sex sessions. Other than my nose being on hyper-vigilant-reviewer-duty and so detecting a very slight scent, there was nothing to note. It must be mentioned that there was no noticeable taste or other ill-effects on the tongue or mouth. Nor did the wipes seem to impact our intercourse at all. Once we both reached orgasmic bliss (three times for me!), it was time to see how Wild Wipes would fare with the post-sex cleanup.

As I mentioned before, I do have some internal parts which I feared would come in contact with the wipes. That opening, just having been so pleasingly pounded, was now a bit more, well, not quite gaping, but certainly more open than usual.  And, if you’re having sex without a condom, as we were, there remains the matter of where that load of cum is… In this case, in my pussy, as God intended. *wink* Which brings us back to the matter of avoiding internal contact…

When we women clean up after sex, we aren’t just worried about addressing our dainty feminine juices ~ we want to remove that load that was deposited. (For that reason, along with the medically advised emptying of the bladder before and after sex to help flush any bacteria out and so avoid a urinary tract infection, we women make those trips to the bathroom to empty out & clean up after sex.) Wild Wipes won’t really help with that whole mess. …Unless you wait awhile for it to ooze out by itself. Which is what I did. However, my worries proved, again, to be unfounded. Cleanup with the Wild Wipes was relatively easy ~ as well as safe and gentle.

wild-wipes-to-clean-up-after-sexFor those with concerns, the ingredients are listed on the product packaging as: Water, Propylene Glycol, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice, Potassium Sorbate, Tocopherol, Quaternium-52, PEG-60 Lanolin, Citric Acid, Disodium EDTA, Fragrance. These ingredients are relatively safe, not only commonly found in other wet wipe hygiene products, but in many other personal care items. Including “natural” varieties. Chances are that if you are sensitive to any of these ingredient, you know them already; if not, I wouldn’t consider them problematic unless you are using the wipes excessively.

First product claim met successfully.

Other product claims are that Wild Wipes have a “fresh eucalyptus-spearmint scent” and “will leave you feeling clean and refreshed.” To properly discuss those issues, I’ll begin with CR/LF’s initial description of the wipes.

Since I don’t worry about hand towels being used to wipe up after sex (that’s what laundry is all about), and since he’s never been a sex professional who is well-practiced in using baby wipes as quick way to wash up before leaving a date, CR/LF is pretty used to just using a towel. So the whole idea reminded him “of those little wet naps you are given at restaurants after you have chicken or ribs”.

I can tell you, other than being portable wipes, Wild Wipes have nothing in common with those restaurants wet naps or moist towelettes. Wild Wipes are far softer ~ both to the touch and in scent. It seems to me, that all the moist towelettes are primarily rough alcohol pads, that scratch my skin and sting my nose ~ on their way to drying out my skin. Wild Wipes do not do any of that terrible stuff.

In comparison to baby wipes, Wild Wipes also come out ahead.

wild-wipes-intimate-wipesA tad larger than a business card or credit card, the individual packs of Wild Wipes fit neatly in your pocket or wallet; certainly more discreet, and sexier, than lugging a tub of baby or toilet wipes around. Since Wild Wipes come in individual packets, each wipe remains wet until you open it to use it. Also, many of us who have changed diapers now associate the smell of baby wipes (or any “baby changing” scents, like baby powder) with the smell of poop. Ditto the scents of wet toilet wipes. Not ideal for intimate encounters. Or for feeling clean. The importance of the issue of scents cannot be overstated enough. We women have up to 50% more olfactory neurons in our brains, so we notice smells. Especially gross smells. (Hint: That’s why you may need to use a Wild Wipe before sex, especially if you want a blowjob.) Wild Wipes, however, have a very light and non-offensive scent. More claims met.

While that all rather addresses the product claims of being discrete, the major discretion factor is the easy disposal: Wet Wipes are both biodegradable and flushable, so no messy evidence remains. Another claim met.

Findings: Wild Wipes intimate wipes meet or exceed all their product claims.

While I personally wouldn’t use Wild Wipes after every sexual encounter, I do find them excellent for travel. Not that I give a whit about what hotel employees may think of my sex life; but I do question the cleanliness of hotel towels… Perhaps even more importantly, especially with the holiday season upon us, I would prefer to use Wild Wipes when on holiday at my parents’ house, staying with family members, vacationing at a friend’s cabin, etc.. I’m not one to give up sex. I’ll do my best to be quiet; but I won’t go without it!

In cases of visiting family & friends, these wipes are a far more discreet option than presenting your hosts with a pile of dirty towels. (Even the opened packets can safely be tucked in a pocket, purse, or suitcase until you sneakily dispose of them so your mom won’t see them in the garbage as there is no liquid in the empty package to leak.)

However, being a lady who has condom-less sex with her partner (plus the whole bladder thing) means I will still need to make those post-coitus furtive trips to the bathroom to really be sure I’m clean.

wildwipesAdditional Facts:

I did not try the wipes on any of my sex toys; I would recommend using tested sex toy cleaning products for that.

While I did receive four individual packets of Wild Wipes to review, this did not impact providing a fair product review.

Again, you can get free shipping on Wild Wipes using code “sexkitten”.

Sex Is Dirty; Clean Yourself Up

In October, a new brand of intimate wipes hit the market: Wild Wipes.

Wild Wipes Founder says the story behind the new intimate wipes is a simple one:

I never liked having to clean myself off after sex, I found it annoying because it was a process. Not to mention, I’d have to hear from my wife every time I used the “good towels.” Then one night after sex, the following thought went through my mind: I wish I had an easier and faster way to clean myself after sex, and that moment is when the idea came to me. Over a year and a half later and Wild Wipes are finally here.

The wipes are designed for use by both men and women. The advantages are that the wipes come individually packaged, are biodegradable, and flushable.

wildwipesNot only can they be used to clean up after sex, but you can use them to freshen up before hand too. (Speaking of hands… No reason you can’t use them to clean up after masturbation as well.)

Stay tuned for an exclusive interview and a product review; meanwhile, you can order Wild Wipes and get free shipping using code “sexkitten”.

Lip-Biting Lust

Erika Lust released her first pornographic film, The Good Girl, for free on the internet in 2004 ~ in just a few months it was downloaded over 2 million times going on to win Best Short Film at the International Erotic Film Festival in 2005. Since then, she’s formed Erika Lust Films and several of her erotic works have earned Movie of The Year at the Feminist Porn Awards. And now Erika has her own online movie theatre, Lust Cinema, where she shows not only her own films but the cinematic carnal delights of others. Yes, one place to get all the lusty lip-biting erotica you need.

lip biting good sex

You can call the films at Lust Cinema “indie porn”, because it’s not from those big generic porn production companies. You can call it “alternative porn” ~ but it’s not necessarily full of tattooed and pierced Suicide Girls. You can call it “porn for women”, but only if you take that expression to mean it’s hot enough for any gender. You can call it “erotica for couples”, so long as you still know it’s hardcore porn. There are a lot of words you can use to describe the adult films at Lust Cinema… honest, fresh, innovative, intimate, classy, modern, beautiful… However, Erika (I think I can say this for her) and I would prefer the term “best porn” because that’s what it really is.

lust cinema hands on junk

If you think “best” is too subjective (and I can’t really argue with you there), then let’s go with “sensual adult films”. Yeah, a lot of people use the word “sensual” to describe their erotic & porn works ~ and we all know that at least two-thirds of them don’t know what the word means. Sensuality is about arousing and gratifying the senses ~ all of the senses. And Lust Cinema films hit all the senses. Well, maybe not scent… Smell-o-vision was a flop, after all. But everything else is as lush and pleasing as it can be.

mirrors lust cinema handcuffs erika lust handcuffs lust cinema erotic film submission handcuffs lust cinema lingerie erotic film

At Lust Cinema, you get everything from great music and gorgeous sets (complete with proper lighting for the film’s mood) to clothing and lingerie that real people wear (or wish they could wear!). Oh, yeah, there are plenty of naked folks doing dirty deeds too. It’s like combining the best of softcore ambiance with the best of hardcore action.

Liberte-sexuelle group sex lust cinema

Lust Cinema offers films you (and your partner, should they be so lucky as to watch with you) will enjoy ~ both in the moment, and later on, as they linger in your mind… stirring & rousing you… Making you bit your lip again just thinking about it!

Manuel-del-placer porn film scene

Members get all of Erika Lust’s films, including the ongoing XConfessions series, as well as the works of dozens of other directors of special erotic films. Included in Lust Cinema’s catalog of hundreds of films are vintage adult films and helpful sex “how to” movies. Along with the HD pornos to get you off, there’s “behind the scenes making of” content too. Updates are added to the site four times a month. Pour yourself some wine and watch some Lust Cinema tonight…

barcelona erika lust films

French geographers publish global atlas on sexuality

See on Scoop.itLet’s Get Sex Positive

Where are people most unfaithful? Who uses sex toys? On a darker level, where is child rape more prevalent? French geographers have tried to answer these questions and others in a global atlas on sexuality.


From legislation and the dynamics of couples to prostitution and violence, the book maps out the evolution of sexual habits and acts around the world by collating various surveys, figures and reports already available.


“Sexuality is everywhere on our city walls and on our screens, in lighter news or in darker events,” said Nadine Cattan, research director in geography at France’s National Center for Scientific Research.

See on

Do Women Really Want More than Men can Give?

Sometimes I think men don’t really want us to have our own sexuality, our own sense of self. The more we can stand on our own the less we are likely to accept them as they are. Though if they can wear us down into feeling we are less than we are, there is a better chance they can get what they want from us, without really giving us anything in return. Getting sex in return does not count. I don’t think (in my own experience) that women want just sex, not really. It may be something they settle for or it may be something they use in hopes of trading to get more later. (Or it may be a job for some, which is not a personal thing at all).

I saw a cartoon drawn by a man with bad spelling today. I didn’t cut and paste it. But the image has stuck in my mind. It shows a woman with the stereotypical huge boobs, tiny waist and round butt – she is tied up with her butt sticking up and her face down. Her head is turned to look back, over her shoulder. She looks upset, scared – she is certainly not in her position by choice. The cartoon even states she is a virgin. The main focus of the cartoon, the largest image which takes up the most space even, is a huge cock. A man is holding his cock, his pants down around his knees, standing over her so he can shove his cock into her. It’s supposed to be sexy, maybe even funny. But, to me it really just illustrated how men pressure women for sex. Not just that but how they push it on women in so many forms. Also, the size of the cock in the drawing, the amount of focus put into drawing it and having it show up even larger than the woman herself – this shows how much focus is on self-satisfaction and his own needs versus wanting a partner in sex. In the cartoon she is unwilling, that is one thing, but looking at the drawing itself she is almost not important versus the man holding his own giant cock ready to use her.

I’ve read where someone has given advice to men, suggesting they give their wives (girlfriends, etc.) some extra affection, romance, something before just asking for sex and telling her how she never gives him any. I think men read this and maybe even use the advice. So they tell her she’s pretty and when she isn’t jumping their boner a few minutes later they decide the advice didn’t work and never consider trying again, or trying to actually be sincere in using romance, affection, consideration versus just expecting she will want sex because he wants sex. If she doesn’t want it then there is something wrong with her.

There must be some cases where men and women meet in the middle and come to some understanding of each other’s needs. I know there are some great, and happy, couples out there. Also, I know not every man wants a steady stream of sex. So it is possible for men and women to find partners who do have the same interest level in sex.

However, as a single woman, dating again, it seems most men are of the type to see women as something to have sex with before they consider her as a person. Before they consider themselves as a person beyond a person with a penis. I think even the men who troll newsgroups, chats and dating sites must have some need for a human, personal connection. They must want someone to talk to, to go places with and such – at least some times. They can’t have no needs beyond sex and sex alone. I have had one man ask me why I was online at all if I wasn’t looking for sex. That is the attitude I find most often in men online, when it comes to any kind of dating site or forum. Maybe they really can only think with one head at a time, maybe this is literally true and far more true than I have considered in the past.

I’d like to find a man to have in my life. But, I want more than sex and kinky stuff and even more than romance. I want a real relationship. The sort of relationship that lets me feel I am happy being with the person I am with. I’m not willing to back slide into giving sex to win a man. What are you winning if that is the case? You’ve won a penis, not a man. I’m not willing to see myself as less than I am and accept a man who has far more warts, baggage and issues than I do. I’m not perfect but I’m pleasant, optimistic, a morning person and I have other assorted good qualities. I’m looking for a man who can appreciate who I am, those qualities. Maybe I won’t find that but I am not going to settle for a walking penis, a man who can’t see me as a person and appreciate me for who I am versus a pair of boobs and a warm body with a hole in the right place.

This doesn’t mean I’m not interested in sex. I have my own list of kinky stuff, my own sexual fantasies. But, I want to share them with a real person, a real man (as I’m a straight woman). I want that to be part of the relationship. I don’t want a man who only wants that and then has no interest in being with me once the kinky stuff is done to his satisfaction. That is just far too one sided for me.

The Smart Women mug is available for sale.