Bloody Bad Period Sex Misinformation

So, according to Dr. Dee Fenner, MD, there’s been no study on this factoid I’m about to talk about ~ but the “news” has been making the rounds on sex blogs as if it were actually the results of a new study.

Newsflash: Having orgasmic sex while menstruating will end your period sooner.

 

Dr. Fenner ~ who is Director of Gynecology, Director of Surgical Services, and a Professor in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of Michigan, says the reason, quite obviously, is that “menstrual blood in the uterus is squeezed out during orgasm.”

Normally this is where I would begin ranting about studies informing us of things we already know ~ but, remember, this wasn’t a study finding. In fact, it wasn’t even a study. And that’s rather what my rant would be about: How infrequently studies are made about women’s health, female sexuality, and the like. Cuz, you know, men’s bodies & their ability to get off is always paramount. There are plenty more studies about men, their bods, their health.

However, it should be noted that there have indeed been women’s health studies about coitus and menstruation.

This 1989 study found that “sex during menstruation appeared to increase the chances of endometriosis but not of PID (pelvic inflammatory disease).”

This 1996 study, for example, did find that intercourse during menses may cause heavier bleeding ~ which may leave perimenopausal women more vulnerable to hysterectomies.

This 2011 study concluded that “coitus during menses could be a predisposing factor for endometriosis.”

I’m not a doctor. I don’t even play one on TV. But I don’t think you need to be alarmist about these studies. Though if you have a family history or other concerns regarding these health concerns, discuss with your doctor the fact that you’re having, or would like to have, sex while on your period. I do, however, think such information on such studies ought to be included in articles and posts about sex while having your period.

Aside from the lack of any mention of these studies, what stood out the most in the article where I spotted this recently-dropped knowledge was this bit on the benefits of having sex while on your period:

Having sex while on your period immediately brings you closer together. Having sex during this ‘no-go’ time is a bold move – and one that can cement your bond.

Yes, if you really want to fuck while menstruating, go ahead. Breaking such a simple & silly taboo can bring you & your partner closer together. Like most any consensual intimate act, the willingness to “go there” can do wonders for your relationship.

Then again, it could be that couples having sex during menses do so precisely because they already feel close to one another.

Which is the cause, which is the effect?

But before I could get too caught up in that question, the article went on to ruin everything by tacking-on this bit:

From trying new positions, to experimenting with different moves – after period sex, you’ll notice that you’re far more willing to engage in new things in the bedroom.

Really?! Now this reads like a thinly-concealed “why you should have sex with her while she’s on the rag” piece. It’s all about convincing couples that doing it on the rag means a woman should want to do more wild things now. You know that old, “I’ll wade into the red river, if…” stuff. *snort*

I know I shouldn’t be surprised. Far too many articles are slanted this way…

But come on now!

Ladies, if you don’t want to do it when you’re on the rag, no need to be coy or polite; just say, “Thank you, but no.”

But, ladies, let me also tell you this: If you want to shorten the duration of your menstruation (not to mention relieve your cramps or change your mood via a fantastic orgasm!), you need not a man nor any partner for this ~ just masturbate yourself to orgasm! Yes, this is a real thing. Science confirms it. From that 1996 study on coitus & menstruation:

Female orgasm appeared to be the trigger for uterine contractions in this species. Sexually related uterine contractions occurred with or without the presence of penile intromission, provided the female showed evidence of sexual climax through the acceleration of her heart rate and subsequent species-typical facial expressions.

So let the orgasmic bliss of menstruation masturbation lead you to a more intimate place with yourself. Maybe you’ll love yourself more. Maybe you’ll become more willing to experiment with yourself sexually. Maybe you won’t. And that’s OK too. Don’t pressure yourself like some bad sex article might.

Image Credits: “I Love Period Sex” Sex Cum Rag Handtowel from The Love Rug Shop; Shark Week No Sex For You Low Rise Cheeky Boyshort Panties from Tee Shirt Cafe.

You Can Call It “Sexism”, If You Want…

gold-diggers-of-1933Women are attracted to power and wealth, as this means good protectors and providers for offspring. Men are attracted to beauty as it is a sign of health and fertility, leading to off spring. You can consider these facts to be sexist, but there’s biological hard-wiring behind them ~ and science to back it up.

If you’ve been wondering just how this impacts dating, including online dating, there’s a study for that too. And this new study, published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, also backs up the biological facts we’d often like to dismiss as superficial and sexist.

As Justin Lehmiller reports for Playboy:

Evolutionary theorists have long argued that men and women look for different things when choosing a long-term partner because they face different reproductive costs. The basic argument is that men tend to look for women who are healthy and fertile, while women tend to look for men who can provide. As a result, men tend to be a little more focused on looks and women on status and wealth.

The researchers therefore predicted that online personal ads placed by women would receive more replies to the extent that they emphasized physical attractiveness. Likewise, they expected ads placed by men to receive more replies if they focused on professional success.

The researchers correctly predicted the study’s findings:

As expected, the women presented as thin and attractive received significantly more replies from male suitors than women who were described any other way.

Women presented as successful and ambitious received the second highest number of replies. Their response rate was significantly higher than the sensual/passionate and generic ads, which were essentially tied for last. Thus, both good looks and success increased the likelihood of a woman getting a reply.

What about the guys?

As expected, men who were described as successful received the vast majority of all responses, with the remainder being split about evenly between the attractive, hopelessly romantic and generic ads. Among men, success was the only trait linked to an increased likelihood of getting responses from women.

…These results tell us that men and women seem to respond to different things online, with ads emphasizing women’s looks and men’s accomplishments being the most successful.

Image Credits: Scene from Gold Diggers Of 1933.

A Review Of Jack’s Blowjob Lessons

Jack’s Blowjob Lessons by Jack Hutson, with Tanya J, boasts of being “The Worlds #1 Blowjob Guide.” No one knows what that means, exactly; or if it’s even true. The truth is, what is most known about this book is its sexist nature.

There’s that whole “submissive female serving dominant male” tone, a derogatory tone towards sex work, and the author actually bashes feminism. Such a sexism certainly temps folks to toss the baby out with the bathwater; many reviewers have.

But I also come from a marketing background. Smarmy as it is, Jack’s clearly aiming his book at insecure women, using threats to strike fear into their hearts. For Jack tells you, no matter how much you and your man may love one another, your relationship is at risk if you can’t give him good head. Your man will leave you. Or (presumably worse?) he may seek the services of a sex worker (in the book, he calls them “professionals”; on his website, he refers to them as “street hookers”). While I do wish women were more confident in themselves and their relationships than to fall for this sort of “man capturing” or “relationship saving” sort of thing ~ or just let the loser walk ~ there, sadly, is a hungry market for this. “Sex may sell” ~ but fear motivates actual purchases.

jacks blowjob lessonsThis is why I am trying to look past the sexism and other problems, and review the book’s contents to see if there’s anything worthy here… Just because Jack’s never had the pleasure of a feminist’s fantastic bj, it doesn’t mean you & your lover should miss such things.

The book focuses primarily on proper cock sucking attitude ~ including getting him to feel like a King, why “teasing is bad”, and rather role-play-esque blowjob “styles.” Also covered are Jack’s opinionated tips on positions; instructions on how to use hands, tongue, mouth, and other parts of your body to intensify his experience; dirty talk; and how to deep throat (with tips from a “former porn star” referred to as “Tanya J”).

Basically, the book outlines and walks you through the many options of the before, during, climax, and after of a providing oral sex to a man. There are some helpful tips and advice in here. However, due to the author’s whole “woman, submit to your man” thing, the tips can get lost… Honestly, the book almost reads like sex fantasy fiction for sissies, whose fantasies often seem misogynistic.

It is unfortunate that Jack makes the mistake of bashing feminists. And it is a mistake to believe we feminists can’t love cock or the humans attached to them. Just as it’s a mistake to believe feminists can’t be sexually submissive. (I am a feminist who loves cock, men, and being submissive!) Yes, there are some practical tips in the book, especially if you are trying to deliver a submissive cock-sucking performance or elicit a good face-fucking; but it’s difficult for even this submissive to read without feeling icky.

If you think you can overlook all the sexism, or are the sexually submissive sort (in general, or just wish to role play), and believe you can glean something from the tips, note the following: The book (stated as being a 160 page ebook; the PDF copy I was sent only has 154) is a pricey $47 & only available at the author’s website ~ but before I send you there, I should warning you that it has embedded video with audio that begins as the page loads. Here’s the site.

Also it is very important to mention that Jack doesn’t know jack about sexual health. So, if you are interested in this book, be wise and advised about STDs/STIs, use of condoms, sex in public places, and other related health matters.

As with all our reviews and/or sponsored posts, neither review product, payment, nor payment in kind affects the honesty of reviews or any editorial decisions.

Sunday Funnies: Vintage Cocktail Napkin Edition

“Fifty Nifties” is a vintage set of are paper cocktail napkins, made by Miles Kimball Creations of Oshkosh, WI. Dubbed “50” for the count of the napkins, they likely come from the 1950s (or other Mid-Century decade).

Being a Slightly injudicious Collection of Fifty Excellent and Colorful Paper Linen Cocktail Napkins, Each with Its Own Gay Illustration and Deliciously Spicy Bon Mot. Definitely a Must for Your Next At-Home, Bridge, Clam-Bake or Other Rumpus-Room Goings-On.

50 nifties vintage risque cocktail napkins

According to the seller, only 24 of the vintage risque napkins remain ~ and they contain some real beauts. We’ve copied a few of them below. Warning: Sexism, ageism, and the like. Via.

“A woman is as old as she looks. A man is not old until he stops looking.”

“She’s the cream in his coffee as long as he has plenty of sugar.”

“She has a figure like an hour glass and makes every minute count.”

“She’s just a bowlegged cow-girl who couldn’t keep her calves together.”

“Virgin Wool comes the sheep that runs fastest.”

“He’s the butcher who backed into the slicing machine and got behind in his orders.”

“From 28 to 30 are the best 10 years in a woman’s life.”

vintage ageism sexism bar napkins

vintage hour glass and can't keep her calves together jokes

Sexism Takes The Sexy Out Of Cosplay

See on Scoop.itLet’s Get Sex Positive

This affects things like cosplay too. Some say that the mainstreaming of cosplay has created a sexist and hypersexualized aura surrounding the hobby. They say that “surge of ‘fake geek girls’” who are “pretty and wearing something revealing” are quickly “labeled cosplay ‘celebrities’ and are featured on dozens of websites” as authorities to the detriment of other costumers and hobbiests. In other words, the media packaging of traditional beauty standards have gotten in the way of the fun for everyone in cosplay.

See on www.storybook-whorehouse.com

Respect The C-Word

Years ago, we wrote about women reclaiming use of the words like labia, yoni, and even the c-word, cunt (and Ms.Magazine has even spoken about that too); but I have to say that “cunt” and “pussy”, like “bitch”, are words men should not use because for them it is an insult.

So I am not a fan of gay men calling one another “cunts” or “pussies” because it displays only the utter contempt men have for women; as if there is nothing lower than being a woman. Used like this, it’s the ultimate denigration, the most demeaning way to signal contemptuous use of a body.

cunt

Would You Consider Going On A Sex Strike?

Ladies, would you go on a sex strike to protest the current war on women? That’s what SexStrike.org is suggesting you do.

In light of the recent war on women, we are calling for a nationwide sex strike from April 28th to May 5th. All women should withhold from having sex with their partners.

This will help people understand that contraception is for women and men, because men enjoy the benefit of women making their own choices about when and if they want to get pregnant.

Once congress and insurance agencies agree to cover contraception, we will then resume having sex. Until then men will have to be content with their hand.

While this may have some merits in terms of affecting those with men who need a little push, making those men pull it on their own, what about lesbians? And does this effectively unemploy sex workers?

The project is that of Liberal Ladies Who Lunch.

Where Do You Stand? (Or, What Gracie’s Been Reading)

1. This is exactly what U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders was addressing when she replied to a question asked of her at the United Nations World AIDS Day in 1994, saying “I think it is something that is part of human sexuality and a part of something that perhaps should be taught.”

For five years I was given “sex education”. It mostly consisted of periods and condoms. It didn’t talk about consent. It didn’t talk about the actual mechanics of sex, about arousal and lubrication and oscillation. It didn’t tell me a single thing about relationships and it didn’t tell me I had a clitoris.

2. Silent Porn Star’s wondering… Are Art Museums Sexist? Yes …And Maybe No.

3. On a related note, Was She-Ra feminist or sexist?

4. Popping the question ~ the real question: Is Monogamy On Life Support?

5. Lastly, where do you stand (or is that sit?! lol) on panties? A Slip Of A Girl wants to know! (The survey itself has 41 questions, and is open to women and men ~ including crossdressing men.)