Onaholes: The More The Merrier?

Hey, Hannah Smothers & Cosmo, if you think that the 3fap three-hole masturbation toy for men is confusing and upsetting, well, you must have missed this Fucking Ageist Cantaloupe Sex Toy from six years ago.

While the 3fap offers three holes (mouth, vagina, & ass) the Wet Sucker Setsugekka Orgy Onahole suggests an orgy of one man with at least three different women who each will wait their turns… There are three pussy onaholes, each representing three a woman of a different age, and one, apparently ageless, asshole.

The Setsugekka predates the 3fap by six years.

See Also: What’s an onahole?

Saucy Saturday: Footsie Fun For Everyone Edition

Lotus Lain and Mia Li are playing footsie…

Lotus Lain and Mia Li play footsie

When they notice someone watching… While that might sound creepy, the peepin’ Tom dude is invited into the action.

worship Lotus Lain and Mia Li's feet

If you love toes, feet, foot jobs, and some tramping, then this is for you.

Lotus Lain and Mia Li give a foot job

worshiping the feet of Mia Li and Lotus Lain

…For some reason, even though Lotus is of mixed ethnicity, I’m thinking of singing “Ebony & Asian-Li” to the tune of Ebony & Ivory

My Husband Is Bisexual! Now What?

Today we welcome a guest into our Sex Kitten Parlor to discuss his personal story… Peter is a relationship & sex writer for TheGayUk magazine. He is in a loving marriage with Michael; the couple resides in Brisbane, Australia. Besides writing, Peter loves cooking, reading, and travelling around exotic destinations. His future plans revolve around starting up his personal couple counseling business.

A long time ago, in a land far far away there lived a Prince. He was charming, handsome, smart and rich – a real catch. Then, one day – he went to a ball in search of his soul mate. That’s when he instantly fell in love with a Princess, the most beautiful of all. Their eyes met and it was love that would last forever and ever… at least, that’s what we are told. Truth is, this glorified Prince had probably had another prince on the side already, the Princess had probably had an elf or another princess to fool around with too, but Disney never told us about that, did he now? Sure, it’s always easier to live an illusion than face reality. Until it slaps you in the face.

We all love and fall, we all hurt. It’s how we overcome it, and how strongly we decide to love again what counts.

wedding coupleDiscovering your partner is something you never thought would be absolutely nerve-wrecking. From small things, like realizing they’ve been lying to you the whole time when saying they went golfing with their friends (when they’ve actually been taking a break from the family life every Wednesday and Friday) to realizing your significant other has preferences towards the other sex. Naturally, these two are incomparable but it’s all betrayal and betrayal is difficult on plenty of levels. Finding out your partner is bisexual? Horrible.

When it happened to me and my husband I was destroyed; a mashup of feelings I’d never felt until then suffocated me to a point I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It was the worst feeling of my life, in all honesty. And the way I found out? Not that pleasant either.

We were at this party our friends threw (it’s their thing, they throw it every last Saturday in a month and all of our friends gather, we bring home-cooked food and deserts, bottles of wine are opened and we just enjoy our night away) and my husband started chatting with this girl, who was quite attractive, I must admit. She was new in the crowd, recently moved in next door to our friends’, so they invited her over. At first, I thought they were just being friendly, but once the leaning in started and his flirting I knew something was up. But, I was confused as she was, well, a girl and he was-gay. That is, was supposed to be gay. I started recalling all the small signs from before, I so successfully (and intentionally) ignored but did bury deep into my subconsciousness thinking they’d be safe there.

When we came home, I immediately confronted him. At first, he started denying it but then he cracked. He started crying, I could read the immense pain in his body language for hurting me and the inexplicable relief at the same time, for getting it off his chest. So he admitted he is bisexual and what was I supposed to do with that? Was our 7-year-long marriage a lie? Did he ever love me? Was I a decoy for something, God knows what? I was frozen with shock yet a burning flame in my mind and soul.

The morning after – I left the house and called in sick. I needed some time away and a proper detachment to clear my head (read: sleep or cry when I am awake, then drink and exercise my strength not to call him when all I wanted was to scream his name and tell him how much I despise him and love him still).

After I’ve managed to put together a few days without calling him, I’ve decided it’s time I picked myself up and figured out what was happening to me. To us. At the time, it was all so confusing, so mind boggling that it seemed like there was no way out. I wasn’t ready to let go, I’ve spent some of the best years of my life with this man. I’ve given him my soul, my body, my mind… I’ve surrendered my entire being to him and to me – that was more than enough a reason to try and fight this.

However, there was no one to talk to. I felt humiliated and pretty much in a dead-end. I mean, who could have I turned to and hope they would help? Nobody could understand what I was feeling.

The only thing that came to my mind was to try and Google it, see if there were any studies on this done, read through what the experts had to say. And, to my surprise, once I started Googling it, it turned out it was a rather common problem plenty a couple was dealing with. Not that I would ever want such a heartache on anyone but when I realized there were other couples in the same or similar jam as I was, I felt a relief. Not a relief because they were suffering, but because it meant I’d be able to find a solution for my situation. Who knew being bisexual hit so many marriages!

I knew I didn’t want to leave him but I was aware there will be something for him to stay happy and content. Something absolutely out of the box.

After reading articles and articles of people with similar experiences to mine, I’ve stumbled upon a reference that lead me to a company called Red Door escort agency which, I’d later find out, was a highly professional and trustworthy environment offering the best escort service and utmost pleasure. Apparently, it was highly ranked with so many couples trusting it for support and a solution. So I thought, I’ll go check it out, what’s the worst that could happen!

I’ve arranged the meeting thinking the sooner I get it over with, the better. On my way there, I was sweating, my brain was pulsating, my mouth was dry and I genuinely felt sick to my stomach with the whole situation I was going through. Was I really not enough?

Nonetheless, once I got there, a sense of calm overwhelmed me. I was blown away with professionalism and amicability of the people who welcomed me. Contrary to my expectations (I’d honestly expected a Red District situation), the atmosphere was warm and cozy, a dignified ambiance followed by an expert approach – what more could I ask for! I talked about my problem, and I immediately got several potential solutions with explanations on how things could go down. This immediately instilled me with confidence. I was on a meeting with people who knew what they were talking about and I loved it.

Well, does it mean we’re cheating on each other if we opt for your services? – I asked at some point.

Honey – she smiled – would you rather have the love of your life unhappy with his limitation to be who he is, embrace it entirely and then snap somewhere and cheat with some random person in a bar, only to then come home to you ashamed and disgusted with himself, or would you rather go on the ride together, fully supporting each other? To be blunt – no, you are not cheating. You are loving each other by doing this.

I was sold.

I left the Red Door and immediately called Michael. It was a mind-opening experience for me. I am ready to try and work it out and I may have found us a solution. When I went back home, I told him all about it. He was a bit skeptical and, to a point, we were both afraid it would break our marriage apart but I guess, it was only normal to be as overwhelmed as we were.

When we went there together at our first session, it was like the most thrilling threesome you could have ever imagined. I was given the option to watch and I did. I was in the room there with them, the girl he was with was super hot and looking at him desirably. Being wanted by that gorgeous woman, seeing him happy was immensely uplifting and stimulating for me! I was convinced there was nothing to be intimidated by. Other sessions, he went alone and later came home to me.

Risking it paid off and, guess what? We’re celebrating our 8th anniversary tomorrow, he is taking me dancing!

A Hardcore Threesome

Like tats? (That’s called “indie” or “alt” in porn today, even if it is rather mainstream.) How about rough sex? Now, how about a threesome ~ two men and one woman? If these things appeal to you, check out this hardcore action in which a wife brings home a young man for her and her husband to explore together:

From Verso. Directed by Julia McDonell, featuring Silvia Rubi, Gabe Tonic, and David Santos.

TV’s Turning Up The Sex ~ And I Love It (Mostly)

Typically, summer seems to bring out some of the worst in fluff TV. Often, this is most visible in cheap “reality” television which exploits celebrity itself by making celebrities do odd things. But it is also apparent in the cliched, romance and fashion-ridden chick shows otherwise known as the lady dramas or evening soaps. Hey, I’ll admit I watch a few of them. I could tell you it’s for the pure joy of having some guilty pleasures, but that’s not entirely it… We have little choice. While some may say it’s the heat which makes us lower our standards, the truth is that there’s little else on. But this summer, even the guilty pleasure fluff has become very interesting by stepping-up the sex appeal…

Surprisingly, Devious Maids turned up the heat by going with a BDSM theme. Even if it was presented as a shocking thing, a la Desperate Housewives.

As the relationship betwen The Powells grows warmer, Mr. Powell grows impotent, missing his wife’s cold controlling humiliating ways ~ but discovers he has progressed towards a predilection and arousal from physical pain.

Yes, it got more than a bit icky when he topped from the bottom ~ and especially by breaking the rule of consent, forcing the maid to provide his discipline. Is it worse than the ick of 50 Shades? I don’t know… We could have debates for ages on that. But the very fact that BDSM was on Maids at all assists in breaking ground for BDSM in the mainstream.

Even if you’re not shocked to find BDSM in your mainstream lady shows, you might find how Mistresses turned up the sexual heat surprising…

Mistresses introduces not merely a not threesome, but a polyamory relationship between Karen, Vivian, and Alec.

More than just sex, there’s a love trio ~ complete with emotional complications as Karen finds herself fearing she’s coming between the married couple after cumming between them. It’s more than likely this won’t last; the show is called Mistresses, after all. And likely Karen will find herself smitten with Alec, if not leaving the two of them at the same time. (Remember, they only allowed Joss to be a lesbian for a few minutes.) But it is a start, right?

But hands-down (pun intended), my new favorite show, UnReal, earns special props for being more than open about sex ~ but by including female masturbation so naturally too.

At the start of one episode, Rachel is shown trying to (unsuccessfully) jill-off while watching porn on her phone. Later in that same episode, Rachel finds masturbatory success while watching a different video on her phone ~ this video of she and her former lover. Kudos, Lifetime!

And kudos, again, for sandwiching between those slices of masturbatory life, Quinn being (discreetly ~ but obviously) orally serviced by Chet as well. Quinn clearly enjoys that seat of power ~ for now, anyway.

Unfortuneatly, no one seems to have preserved and proffered video clips from this spectacularly sexually frank episode. Yet. But trust me, it all happened. Others saw it too. And it’s just this sort of honesty that makes UnReal the best show on Lifetime. Quite possibly the best show on TV this summer. I just wish that Lifetime would have the ovaries to post these sorts of clips online; that would show real commitment to UnReal. And fans like me.

Thanks to this marvelous digital age, it doesn’t matter if you’ve missed any episodes or even if you missed every episode. You can get them online somewhere, via Netflix, or Amazon Instant Video (my favorite ~ since I’m a Prime member, I make the most of Prime Instant Video). Wherever you go, be sure to check out the steamy summer goodness. Especially UnReal. It truly is unreal. In an amazing way.

unreal-lifetime-shiri-appelby-as-rachel-feminist-shirt

Hot Flash Fiction Friday: Twig-Spanking Fun Edition

This week’s Hot Flash Fiction Friday is a flashback from the Sex Kitten archives, circa 2005. It’s also a bit longer erotic story than your typical flash fiction; but we doubt you’ll mind.

Dreams can be exciting, or unsettling, or both. When I began to dream of a man entering the bedroom room I supposedly shared with a girlfriend, well, I was excited. And when the dream progressed to his punishing us, the excitement grew. Of course, I couldn’t tell my husband about any of it, but maybe you’ll understand.

Read the rest of A Dream, Or… by Jude Mason.

Hot Damn, Dean Van Damme Gives Into The Pussy Power

This incredibly hot piece of tattooed British beefcake is Dean Van Damme, star of Power Pussy by the incomparable Erika Lust of Lust Cinema.

dean van damme

In Power Pussy, he stops in a roadside bar and dares to order two of the house’s special cocktails, called Power Pussies. He gets more than he bargains for as his order arrives: Two very dominant women.

pussy power lust films

These femdoms, played by Carol Vega and Samia Duarte, tie him up and have their way with him. (Who the hell wouldn’t?!)

power pussy dean van damme porn

dean van damme tied up mercy

dean van damme threesome oral

Here the tattooed porn star talks about what it’s like to be an adult film performer:

PS Dean Van Damme’s also preparing for his first strongman competition, so keep an eye out for more pics on Twitter @DeanVanDammexxx.

Profanely Popular Hot Priests Calendar

The 2015 Orthodox Priests Calendar on sale now. Featuring nude and semi-nude homoerotic photographs of members of the Orthodox Church, this is one calendar that’s sure to hit hot touch points ~ raising ire and libidos.

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Orthodox Calendar threesome in church

Orthodox Calendar church gay bdsm hot wax

Not just about the pretty faces (and other parts), this year’s calendar (the third in the series) is called S.A.L.I.G.I.A. ((Superbia, Avaritia, Luxuria, Invidia, Gula, Ira, Acedia) and it pays tribute to social tolerance.

The story takes place on the right bank of the Moskva River south of Moscow, where some priests believe that same-sex unions are NOT a sign of the coming apocalypse, contrary to what Russian Orthodox Patriarch Kirill may claim. These priests set out, in a humorous way, to remind the world that homosexuality is NOT one of the 7 deadly sins and in fact that Jesus Christ never even referred to homosexuality as a sin!

Yet in the words of many in the Orthodox hierarchy, LGBT people have suddenly become the worst kind of sinners — an omen of the impending end of the world. What about wrath, avarice, sloth, pride, lust, envy and gluttony?

Three years after its creation, OC is still the only organized global effort against homophobia in the Orthodox region.

Saucy Saturday: MMF Threesome Edition

It’s not often you see threesomes with two men and a woman ~ and the dicks are as into each other as the chick. Double penetration, male on male, that’s just some of the bisexual action you’ll find here. Yes, 1 Woman + 2 Dudes = 3 Pillows.

mmf sex

bisexual threesome

two guys kiss as one fucks a blonde