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118
Lately I’ve noticed weird lurching, pitching, pausing and just general freaking out in my chest. My heart. I know what it means when it does this. Last week I stepped on the bathroom scale and confirmed: 118 lbs. Any time my weight drops below 120, my heart throws a tantrum. | |
| Angela
Makes Men Drool
| Posted 09:05am 10-06-06 (Score: 3, 'You Don't Say!
') | Wow, Tess. Great writing, simply awesome.
I really got this big time:
I went to Oklahoma to visit my mother during that time, and I remember the look of horror that crossed her face when she saw me. She kept trying to get me to eat. She kept cooking and bringing me food.
“No thanks, Mom. I’m not hungry.”
I picked up my brother’s beer can and took a sip. My mom burst into tears and went to the kitchen. She came back with a beer and handed it to me, crying. Her crumpled face broke my heart. “Drink this,” she said. “Just, please. Get some calories in you. Please.”
Not that I'm anything close to anorexic, but --like you-- my desire for food comes and goes. I was at my mother's in Florida for a visit and was in my regularly occuring "Eating meat is eating corpses" phase, and just about drove her bonkers.
...cuz mammas so want to love us up with food, dontcha know? And in preparation for my vist she'd made-ahead some dishes she knew I loved growing up. And I just could stomach them.
But all is better now. She lives in my city and we lunch together quite often.
Boy, what society/men/ourselves/media has done to women and body image. Sad...sad, indeed.
Again, thanks...this piece is superior in every way. | | | | jerseyjake
Poolboy
| Posted 02:31pm 10-06-06 (Score: 3, 'You Don't Say!
') | I can only speak for myself. I’m a happy monogamous married man now, but I was a single (divorced) man for over 16 years between marriages. The thing I still love most about women is the magnificent variety. I’ve loved all kinds, all races at one time or - built thin, full-figured, athletic, dancers and even 1 little person. Each woman was beautiful and yes, sexy in my eyes. What made them desirable wasn’t their physique, but the way they carry themselves, their self-confidence And yes Tess, their intelligence. You may recall that you had a long thread going on s-k on that subject.
As you know, intellect has nothing to do with their educational background or their GPA to me & I‘m sure a lot of other men. That intelligence, that spirit is innate and unique to each woman. When a woman truly believes she is sexy just the way she is, she usually is sexy on a level that transcends weight, height or even age.
If you feel good about yourself, that self-assuredness is all that matters. You‘d be surprised how many guys are turned on by that. Maybe if you look at guys in that light as well , you’ll find the one that is just right for you.. The first African American to win a Pulitzer Prize for poetry, Gwendolyn Brooks had a poem about that.
Look! I am beautiful, beautiful with
My wing that is wounded
My eye that is bonded
Or my ear not funded
Or my walk all a-wobble
I am enough to be beautiful..
You are
beautiful too.
I had the privilege and pleasure of meeting and talking with that beautiful 91 year old lady at a poetry reading she gave in 1992. She presented me with a signed copy of the booklet of poems from which she was reading that day. She taught me what beauty was then. I treasure that booklet to this day.
Tess, always know that you’re beautiful at 118 or just the way you are. Don’t listen to what self-righteous, judgemental people may say. Listen to yourself. As if that weren‘t enough, you’re sure to like to way Tony & I portray you in PURR! Don’t change a thing!
| | | | Roxanne
Kitten In Training
| Posted 03:44pm 10-06-06 (Score: 3, 'You Don't Say!
') | great writing, loved this piece.
Must say though, I'd love to see 118 myself right now. At 5'2" 118 would be good for me. Someday, again... | | | | Angela
Makes Men Drool
| Posted 05:23pm 10-06-06 (Score: 3, 'You Don't Say!
') | | Jake...you are beautiful. Thanks. | | | | Gracie
Makes Men Drool
| Posted 05:30pm 10-06-06 (Score: 3, 'You Don't Say!
') | Tess, when I saw you, what did you weigh? I'm trying to imagine just how much you lost so I can imagine how thin you are... You were then thin, but good looking, not a rail or scary & look like 'the type' who does get skinny on nerves... Do I need to worry?
I won't send you a beer, but maybe some cookies or cheetos ~ cheetos are good things :P | | | | Tess
Kitten In Training
| Posted 05:58pm 10-06-06 (Score: 3, 'You Don't Say!
') | Y'all are so great. Thanks, Angela and Jake, for your kind words.
And Gracie-momma, I believe in Minnesota I was at my typical, average weight of about 125-130. I lost probably less than ten pounds since you saw me, but it seems to make a huge difference in that range. People begin to notice it and make comments, and if I pay attention, I can see it start to show in my face (more than in my body). My cheekbones stand out, I look...gaunt? To my eye anyway. Not to mention, that's the weight range where my heart starts to act up. Seems to be a critical weight range, right there at 120 pounds.
No, you needn't worry, I already gained a pound, I'm up to 119. :)
We do need another SK adventure though. It's been too long.
/tess | | | | Gracie
Makes Men Drool
| Posted 06:07pm 10-06-06 (Score: 3, 'You Don't Say!
') | Weight is strange that way, there's this magic point which if we tip, things get weird. It's like that with all number really... Like call someone at 9 at night, no big deal; but call 'em at 10 and woah. Or getting up at 6 is freakish, but 7? hey that's normal. There's always a tipping point.
...Speaking of tipping points, we DO need another trip. I was hoping for Vegas, but no such luck yet... | | | | jerseyjake
Poolboy
| Posted 06:42pm 10-06-06 (Score: 3, 'You Don't Say!
') | | Gracie, have you somehow been tapping into Tony's & my computers? Don't worry, I think the Las Vegas stop on the PURR tour happens in Chapter 10 or 11. Angela, I think you'll especially enjoy that segment, but everyone is in that one! | | | | tony sacre
Marlboro Man
| Posted 08:36pm 10-06-06 (Score: 3, 'You Don't Say!
') | Hi Tess
Your getting me worried, get a bit of weight on doll, That way there will only be more of you to love. Very nicely written piece too even if it did make me a tad sad. I,d sooner see you pleasantly plump, than painfully gaunt.
Again I have to agree with JJ 100%, I wish I could write somethink like that. (Wordsmith and silver tounged devil)I am agreeing with him way to much these days,I am finding it depressing I must go take some prosiac tablets, before I come over all erudite.
Don't like pirates she says, I bet Cpt Jack Sparrow ain't included in that statement! remember my limeric way back in answer to your short story about Johnny Depp ;)I cant remember how it went now and cant find it but it might give you a laugh, I hope.
Jake I think she might just be very grateful to a certain pirate at some stage when Purr hit London eh! I know we argued about your Buckeneer, but my buckeneers are on me buckin head, and pirate won out!
Tess if you ain't back to your fighting weight soon I am comming over there to take you out to dinner for a week and we sure will drink a frenzy of beer too;)
I loved your discription of yourself, I have a fetish for red high heels (on women)It started when I was 16 and in a very dodgy club, these red shoes were on a very nice pair of legs dangling over the edge of a card table, the rest of her was... 16 is a very impressionable age dontch know!...
They cant get into Chapters 10 and 11 yet were still finishing them, they came out of nowhere eh! when I thought we only had Oz left to do.
Tess I'll throw something on the barbie for ya when i'm cooking it tommrow arvo.I will certainly think of you though.
Luv Tony
| | | | tony sacre
Marlboro Man
| Posted 12:05am 10-07-06 (Score: 3, 'You Don't Say!
') | I have a problem flying Virgin Atlantic, all those lovely hostess in Red heels and when they get on the plane they take off those tight black leather gloves all too much for me, and they get to be in charge of the nuts too, I awas ask for an extra packet! !;) Hey just seen all the cool stuff on the bottom here, thanks Derek, cool mate, just like the whole concept f S-K I just hope I can figure the image thing out now.  well the smile worked OK! and the italics No I'm dumb dont know how to do the image thing, Tess tried very hard to explain how to do a similar thing re images at my space and i couldn't get my head around it yet. | | | | DeeDee
Envied By All
| Posted 10:39am 10-07-06 (Score: 3, 'You Don't Say!
') | Where's the guy who gave you the once-over and concluded that women who have babies 'can and should' be thin? May I punch him? Please? As for your health and status, you take care of yourself. I'm glad you know your body's limits & what is right for you.
| | | | Louise
Kitten In Training
| Posted 03:53pm 10-07-06 (Score: 3, 'You Don't Say!
') | I am a bit over my target weight at the moment--140 when I usually feel my best, mentally and physically, at about 125-130. I'm 5 ft.6, and when I get too above my target I get feeling sluggish and depressed, but that's generally because I'm not being active enough, and I need to get outside more. Tess, hon, I soooo agree with you being turned off by that guy's comment. That attitude, that one size fits all mentality, really annoys me. Be the size you are happy and most comfortable with, I always say. I got into a bit of an argument over body image with a guy on another board. I commented about my hubby's desire to get back into a stretching and exercise routine, both for his physical and mental health after numerous injuries over the course of his time spent in the manual labor industry. Anyhoo, I had said I support my hubby in his desire to lose weight and exercise, but that I don't push him, and I love him just the way he is. This guy on the board comes in and jumps me, saying I should back my hubby up if he wants to lose weigh, then proceeds to go on about the marvel of his own experiences in gyms and with his "new" body. *sighs* Why can't people just accept diversity in human sizes? I like seeing different body types. I love diversity. And it is just so freakin' sad that there are so many like this guy you met in the club, who think one size should fit all. *shakes head* Good luck with getting back to your target, hon, be well, and take care, Tess. xox | | |   
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