Humor - is it really a laughing matter?
Being a woman who holds humor in high regard and who has a reputation of being quite silly - Ina reflects on the role of humor in sex and relationships.
What place does humor have within sex? In my book, it’s not quite in first place but it’s often in the running for first runner up it seems!
Sex in itself can be a very funny thing. The sounds that are occur, the sights that can be viewed, the inside jokes that develop…well in general, sex can be funny. Strangely enough there are those who are very offended at this thought. The whole idea of sex being anything but a very serious endeavor is highly upsetting to a great number of people. To many, sex is all about being serious: taking each other seriously; taking the act seriously; making sure that certain procedures are followed; making sure to present only the best sights, the best scents, the best textures, the best sounds; above all making sure to NEVER laugh during the act itself, let alone laugh at a time surrounding the act. To me? Taking sex this seriously? Oh hell no – THAT is a funny idea.
Now I’m not saying that sex isn’t a serious issue – it certainly can be. Nothing can bring you as close to another human being’s soul as amazing, mind blowing, body numbing sex. Getting pleasure from orgasms is one of the best reasons to approach the sexual act in a serious manner because the attempt to create and share one of the utmost pleasures that a human can experience is a seriously honorable task. The coming together of emotions that can be overwhelming on their own but become something more when coupled with sex is an almost sacred thing. However, the act of sex alone IS a funny thing if you think about it…
Funny noises made by our bodies at very “inappropriate” times…Our bodies ending up in positions that just don’t seem possible or probable if we think about them before actually finding ourselves IN them…That slip of the arm or leg that makes someone unbalanced, creating an unintentional bit of physical slapstick comedy…So many things about sex make can make it a VERY silly act indeed. I appreciate this and even more so, I adore those who also share this view.
Humor is said to be a way of shielding ourselves from pain or a way of deflecting pain. While I recognize that this can be true, I believe that a terrific sense of humor is a sign of a human being who is able to recognize that life isn’t easy, slick, or always happy but who loves it anyway. I believe that someone who can find reasons to laugh is someone who is at ease enough with themselves to recognize that even in the most serious moments there may be funny things that occur. Strangely enough, in my own personal ads out there on the web, I referred often to how important a sense of humor is to me:
“I can be found having serious giggle fits on occasion but I also have a very dark and sarcastic side to my sense of humor.....I revel in being around people with a razor sharp wit.”
“I adore a great sense of humor - someone who can keep me laughing often can capture my heart.”
“…must be able to hold an intelligent conversation - has to have passion AND the ability to be silly”
I don’t think I’m alone in the thought that someone that shares a similar sense of humor with me is someone that I can connect with. I know for a fact that I revel in the fact that I can share tiny giggles and great big belly laughs with my chosen partner and that those times of laughter can come at the most unexpected moments. I was lucky in finding someone who manages to keep me laughing and actually managed to capture my heart in large part because of that. In fact, we spend a great amount of our time simply being silly and teasing one another. It is one of the things I treasure most about our relationship. I find laughing in the arms of the one I love to be one of the incredible experiences of my life if only because to me true, easy laughter is a soulful act.
Knowing that it’s safe to tease and play and be silly is such a gift. Realizing that there’s nothing that can occur during sex that will be reason to be offended or upset – knowing that those embarrassing noises, those strange scents, those really bizarre positions, all these things will be either ignored or happily laughed at by both parties. Recognizing that a smile that turns into a giggle is sometimes really just an expression of being happy and absolutely nothing to be defensive about. Sharing laughter with someone that means something to you is an experience almost as good as sharing orgasms with each other. Sharing laughter with someone that means something to you WHILE sharing orgasm with each other – Priceless.